Was told today by a fairly new friend that I don't deserve the surgery cause I don't do anything to better myself. She wasn't around the weeks I suffered trying to loose weight my whole life

phooey on her, haters gonna hate...

dont let them get you down..i got the most support from people that knew my struggles, but even my best friend of 25+ years had nothing nice to say, and we havent spoken since my surgery...chalk it up to jealousy and envy..do whats right for YOU

good luck!

I agree with JeannieReenie haters are gonna hate and I have a GF ( of over 30plus years) who's first question was "what about your boobs?" What the heck???

I agree with you both. I'm afraid I'm gonna loose my best friend of 15 years after this. She told me I'm

An "idiot for doing it" I'm scared to even talk to her about it

In my honest opinion perhaps it is time to back away from her for a little bit. You are going to be making a major life change and having major surgery and you need to focus on you first for a while. You don't need the negativity right now. Once she sees how you have come through the whole process and you're doing much better after surgery then you can let her back in.

But for now, she's toxic and you don't need that as part of your journey.

This is your journey not theirs. Try and make a point of surrounding yourself only with people who you know will support you. Stay true to yourself and your own goals to lose weight and be healthy.

You'll be a much happier person in the long run if you don't change your direction to please somebody else's vision.

Good luck!

Edited July 6, 201511 yr by The Candidate

Who are these people you are calling "friends"? I would kick anyone to the curb who talked to me like that!

I'm fairly new here too...but I couldn't resist replying. First, you do not need anyone to validate your decision. No one goes into this without researching and thinking hard about it. And second, people like that...I'll keep it clean, they can either be supportive or go mind their own business. What does she mean you don't deserve it? Everyone deserves to be healthy and happy! What kind of friend tells a friend that they don't deserve that? And I'm sick of hearing people say that surgery is the easy way out...there is NOTHING easy about preparing for this surgery, and I'm sure after the surgery will be no picnic either. Maybe she doesn't deserve your friendship....

I'm with Bufflehead.

Those people aren't friends.

They're toxic, immature, destructive a**holes.

I don't know any of you ... But I couldn't be happier to be apart of this team. Thank you for saying everything I needed to hear! ❤️

That's like a non smoker telling you it's easy to quit. People who have never struggled with weight don't get it, this is our time to shine!

I have only told people that are close to me, because their are people that you notice their overall attitude toward you changes when you loose weight. My surgery is july 20th so it's coming up quick. I have had some not so supportive people make comments such as why do you need surgery? I have lost 45 pounds in 7 months with a doctor a supervised weightloss, so people think I don't need it. Like I tell them you dont know how I struggle everday. Someone that makes a comment like that doesnt derserve to be around as you are taking this life changing step.

I had an issue like this when I told my closet friend of nearly twenty years she went nuts said I wasn't to talk about it to her etc etc silence for 3 weeks finally sent me a nasty email she didn't agree with me having the surgery I was devastated having no idea where this attitude came from finally she apologized and we cleared the air I guess she thought I was going to start preaching and lecturing I nearly fell out laughing we both used to smoke I quit first then she quit and I started again and have since quit for good I've never lectured anybody about things I've also done in the past I mean really??? Who the heck am I to tell others what to do I had to be clear with her and say this is my decision it has nothing to do with you u can eat whatever u choose to eat in front of me nothing is going to change except what I might eat or not eat and while we are together I'm not going to be judging you or even thinking about what your eating lol I'm not going to turn into the food police

I was shocked with this!

Everyone responds differently because of the unknown. When I first brought this up to my husband I was shocked that I had his full support. I was petrified to tell my mom because she has talked so negatively about this in the past. When I finally did, she was shocked, concerned, and afraid. I have answered her questions, which have eased her mind. Apparently all she knew was the bad stuff that people told her back 15 years ago. For right now those are the only 2 I have told.

A true friend is going to support you because you know what is best for you. They may not always agree, but as a friend why wouldn't they be there to support you?? I have one friend that I know I can tell and she will probably think I am crazy but I know she will be there when I wake up. The rest of my "friends' I have chosen not to share the information with them knowing the crap I will get from them.

I agree... I'm getting married next September. And some thread said that relationships are destroyed by this.

You "don't 'deserve' the surgery because you don't do anything to better yourself"?!???

That's pretty screwy logic! How is having surgery to help you lose weight, improve your health and quality of life NOT doing something to better yourself?!???

Oh. Maybe she meant you hadn't kicked her sorry, negative a** to the curb yet. THAT might improve your life, too!