I am having surgery on March 16. My husband doesn't really want me to have the surgery. I have no doubts that this is what I need and I have tried to tell him about the process and positives. I have encourage him to come to support groups with me. Anyone else have this problem with their spouse?

My significant other of 18 years was against it in the beginning. He kept bringing up finances and how we couldn't afford it and how we should use the money to work on the house and other excuses. I kept on with all the appointments and prepared for surgery anyway and he eventually came around.

I had to convince him that I will be a much happier women, mom and family member if I felt good about myself. He admitted that he was scared I would leave him if I got skinny or was 'too happy'.

He ended up being the most supportive person the day of surgery and said seeing me in pain and in a hospital made him realize he just wanted me to be happy. He now helps me prepare my Protein meals and encourages me not to cheat.

His fears (insecurities) still pop their head every once in awhile but we're working through on them.

Keep pushing towards your goals and he'll come around.

Good Luck!

My husband didn't agree with my decision to have surgery either. I wouldn't say he was unsupportive, because he did recognize that it was MY decision and he didn't try to argue with me. He very strongly believed that I could lose the weight on my own, because I have in the past. What he didn't understand is that I could never MAINTAIN the weight loss on my own. I have lost and gained and lost and gained and lost and gained. I was back up to within 10 pounds of my highest weight ever and once again starting to lose weight. But I decided that this time would be the LAST time. If I was going to work hard and lose the weight again, this time it was going to stick. And I figured VSG could help me do that. For me it wasn't weight LOSS surgery, it was weight MAINTENANCE surgery.

My husband didn't want me to have the surgery at first, but he was still supportive. It's been 6 weeks since my surgery and now he's happy with my decision to have the surgery. I'm losing weight and I'm off my meds. It's all been a good experience . But he wasn't positive before the surgery, he thought it was too extreme.

My husband was 100% supportive but was also pretty sure it wouldn't work because my band had failed. He was good about keeping his opinion to himself most of the time. I found that brining him to a pre-op appointment where he could ask my NP and surgeon a lot of questions really helped him get comfortable with me having the surgery. But the time I actually had the surgery, he was more convinced that it was a good idea. But that is marriage for you - you don't always have to agree with each other, as long as you are supportive nonetheless.

Thank you. Today has not been a good day. I have surgery tomorrow and I thought he would stay home and help finish somethings around the house but I am last on his list.

... I am last on his list.

Well, that says it all. Good on you for putting yourself first, because obviously no one else is.

I've had my date for exactly a month, now, but I haven't told my husband yet. I think he thinks I've gone off the idea as I haven't mentioned it since before Christmas.

Good luck with your surgery tomorrow

I, too, fall into this category. Although I am just starting this journey and am going to my first free seminar tonight to get information on which route is my best option. I'm pretty sure I'm going to do the sleeve and have no intention on telling my husband or anyone else for that matter. I've learned the hard way that loosing weight on someone else's terms or for someone else will only keep me in a dark mindset that obviously hasn't worked before. This is for me. I want to do this for me. I want long term happiness and I will obtain that with or without spousal support. I applaud you & support you all the way!!

@ Good luck with your husband. I know exactly how you feel. My husband wasn't exactly unsupportive of my decision. He respected the fact that it was MY decision. But, I could tell it disappointed him. He really believed in me and my ability to do it "on my own" and my choice to have surgery diminished his perception of me as a strong person.

My husband has been more supportive since I have gotten home. He has taken me walking and been helping me with my shots and to make sure I am taking my pills. And on my case about protein and drinking water.