'Tis the night before surgery, when all through the house

Not a potato chip in sight, nor gravy stain on my blouse;

The Klondikes were eaten by my son with such care

I hoped the empty calories I would not have to bear;

The Snickers were nestled, all snug in their wraps

While visions of Milky Ways danced in my lap

And hubby in his bandana, and I in my sweats

Had just settled down with our favorite little pet.

When out in the kitchen, there arose such clatter

I found our son eating leftover pupu platter

Away to the treadmill, I'll make a mad dash,

To walk off the franks and Beans, and corn beef hash.

The frosting on the cake was making me drool

Eating that now, would make me a fool.

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a can of RediWhip, and a Coor's Lite Beer!

With a little two-step, so lively and quick,

I passed by the fridge, in time, lickety split

How quickly time passes, the seconds do tick

I whispered and prayed, "Get this surgery done quck!"

Now Doctor, now nurses, now drugs and IV's,

Tend to your patient's pain issues, pretty please.

To the top of the incision, to the top of the port.

Now slash away, slash away, slash away pork (sorry about that one...)

As the laparoscopy instruments probe and explore,

Let the band slide in smoothy, snap in place, and secure.

So off to the recovery room, the nurses will hover

To see that their patient would soon recover

And then, in an instant, I awaken with ease

May I have morphine, and a bedpan, please?

As I drew in my breath, and was turning around,

I passed some gas, and inflated my gown.

She was dressed in her scrubs, from her head to her toe

"The surgery went well", she wanted me to know.

A bundle of tubing descended from the pole

The IV fluids ran freely, was I feeling cold?

I have a broad face and a little round belly,

That shakes when I laugh, like a bowlful of jelly.

I am chubby and plump, a right jolly little elf

And I smiled when I saw her, in spite of myself;

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

She spoke not a word, and disappeared out of sight,

Hmm, more patients to see and support group tonight.

And away she flew like a bat out of h$$$

When I heard her exclaim, "my, what is that smell?"

"Happy Band Surgery To All, And To All A Good Night"

____________________________________________________

Dedicated to the doctors, nurses and OR staff who will help make

this weight loss journey a reality.

(Written on the night before my surgery on 5/22/07)

Rachel Kidder

That poem was awesome!!!! Loved it!! Good luck with your surgery. I will be thinking of you. I'm just now in the preparing stages for July surgery.

Good Luck!!!

:clap2:

Thanks for the kind words! My hubby and I put this poem together in about 20 minutes this evening...

Rachel

That was awesome Rachel!! And just what I needed to read on The Night Before MY Surgery, too!!

Good Luck with your surgery tomorrow!! I would tell you I'll be thinking of you, but hopefully, with the right meds...I wont have a care in the world!! LOL

I get banded in a few days. Thanks for the smile. : ))

Oh my gosh, that was hilarious! I've been lurking and reading, reading and lurking but I had to come out of "lurkdom" to praise your poetic ability! =) I hope your surgery went well!

All went well! My new favorite drug of choice and best friend is Oxycodone... I am tolerating about 2-3 ounces of pureed food per sitting. Applesauce goes down well. I do, however, feel left-sided back pain when I eat too fast. I found drinking hot tea helps. Best of luck to you, and thanks. I am glad I could make someone laugh - we are, after all, in the same boat, or about to be.

Take care,

Rachel

I get my band tomorrow and I am very excited and maybe started to get nervous. Yesterday and today I am on clear liquids and last night I passed out a couple times. I really scared my finance when I was completely unconscious so he called 911 when I came to I was pretty disorientated and didn't know where I was but felt better about 5 minutes later. EMTs checked all my vitals and they were fine even my blood sugar and just suggested that I don't really do anything today and keep hydrated. Has this happened to anyone? I am worried about what the next days might bring being that I am already this weak and will continue the clear liquids after the surgery for about 7 days. Any advice, words of encouragement would be great!

The poem was great!!! :thumbup: