Yesterday a little girl, guess she must have been around 5 or 6 came up to me and asked me how come I was so big and had such a small head............

I have been very depressed about my weight lately, I had lost a bunch only to gain it back after finding out I couldn't get the surgery.

I am the type of person that fixates on what others say, so I can't seem to get it out of my head.

I walked away to do a little bit of crying!

I hope you haven't given up the fight to get surgery. We all deserve a chance at good health and a happy life. Sending you a virtual hug today.

Where was her mama/pappa/babysitter/responsible adult when she approaching you? I have three children 27 to 16 yrs old. NEVER have any of them at that age approached a perfect stranger and spoken, period. NEVER! And if they had, there would of been an apology issued to the person, by them, and a gentle lesson given, by me in first approaching strangers and speaking, and second on not commenting on the differences we observe in otheres. Ok, so, try, try to not let this set back take you further back. Try not to let this undo all the hard work you did in losing the weight on your own. So, why were you denied the surgery? And finally, try not to fixate on what a 6 yr old said. I don't believe any malic was intended.

Oh gosh. I'm so sorry and like the poster above says, keep fighting for your quality of life. Everyone deserves it.

Thats was mean and where were her parents?...Keep up the fight we all deserved to have good health...Am sure she ment no hard but it was still mean!!!...Good Luck!!!!

Hold onto a vision of where you would like to be. A thinner version of you. One that is able to enter any department store and buy the latest fashions. Plant that image in your mind and then set about getting there. Life is not easy. And there will be obstacles along the way. But if you persevere, you can reach your goal.

I know what you're talking about! Once, I was trying to get some exercise, riding a bike through the park and there was this hill I had to ride up and I was huffing and puffing and there were these teenage girls pointing at me and laughing. It took a while to get over that.

Kids are so funny you just want to slap their little faces sometimes ; )- ha! I made my son (4 at the time) a tire swing last summer and as soon as it was ready he cheerfully informed me that I couldn't ride on it because my "butt was too bigger" I must admit I did bust up laughing and he was almost telling the truth my butt is big but it's a huge tire my butt would have fit...I think : )@@TatorTot I guess he was just stating the obvious. Try not to let it bother you to little kids we are big even when "normal" size.

Edited December 20, 201411 yr by Elode

@@TatorTot, just remember, kids at that age are seeing a lot of things/people for the first time, so they are inquisitive & haven't learned to filter their words. With that said, I am not condoning the behavior. My feelings would have been hurt too. I still remember something a young girl said to me in 2004(see, I still remember the year it was said).

So it's understandable to feel hurt and sad. But use those words to motivate you to continue through the process of having your surgery.

Wishing you healing and success in your weight-loss journey

Remember, all adults are bigger than kids and seeing someone obese is unusual to most kids until they have more experience. They are just curious. When I have encountered this question "why is that lady so big?" I smile, look directly at the child and tell them I ate too much candy. It puts it in a context that they can understand.

It's the adults who should know better who I ignore.

Kids say the darnedest things...its up to an adult who is responsible for that child to teach them proper boundaries. That does not seem to happen too much now days. If my mom and/or dad, grand parents, uncles/aunties, older cousins had ever heard me say something like that they would have made me apologize to you, explain why such questions are inappropriate, etc., and make it VERY clear I was never to "fix my mouth in such a disrespectful way" again because the next time would include my hide getting tanned. LOL

Its up to you, however to decide how you will feel about what was said. I know it hurts but don't let it fester. That is the worse thing you could do....festering is a terribly difficult habit to break...its taken me yearsssssssssssssss of therapy to finally learn how to let things go.

You are fighting a war on your self-esteem. You can win it, surgery or not.

Btw, if wls surgery is something you and your healthcare providers feel necessary to facilitate better health, then continue to fight.

I like your title Kids are So Honest because its true... and they are so curious and interested and always in learning mode. When they see someone that looks different than what they're used to, they might simply ask about it.. I believe that little child probably just thought you looked pretty interesting! My mother was disabled and in a wheelchair and kids would say things to her in public places all the time and the worried parents would rush over and apologize but my mom would always say that she wished the parents would just let their little ones approach her and speak to her and learn that even though she looked different, she was still pretty cool and nice. When asked those crazy questions she would always say "that's the way God made me. Wonder why he made you to look like you do?" Then she'd giggle I miss her.

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt and I know that feeling too because I had a little boy with a preggo mommy point at me and say "look mommy she has a baby in her tummy too!" one time. I also cried, but then I tried to remember he didn't mean it hurtful and it was motivational to keep going with the process of all those gazillion hoops they made me jump through to get surgery. I hope you will get yours soon. Best of luck to you!

Kids want to know why people are different. My uncle lost his leg when he was 12 years old and kids have stared, pointed or asked what happened his entire life. He always tells them an alligator ate it and makes up some elaborate story. He likes to see the look of horror on their face.

Once my young cousin saw a woman in the mall with a large mole on her face. He felt it would be helpful to inform her, "Hey lady, you've got a giant bug on your face!!" Of course his mom was mortified and told him you shouldn't say things like that but he thought it would help pointing out that the woman obviously didn't notice the giant "bug".

When the child is old enough to know (8+ years) that people come in all shapes, sizes and colors and then they make a rude comment...then I want to slap them or run away crying. Or both.

I haven't had kids make any mean comments to me as an adult. But when I was a kid I had other kids make mean comments and that was very hurtful. I had two girls, complete strangers, one grade above me that asked me if I was pregnant. I was only 12 years old and that really upset me. Around the same age I was swimming in a pool at a campground and some boys were laughing, pointing and making fun of me. I cried the rest of the day. When I was 16 a boy at a pool (I really love swimming) called me Jabba the Hut. Unfortunately for him I'm a big Star Wars nerd so I knew exactly what he was implying. So I kept shoving his head underwater until he apologized. He finally apologized. A year later I saw him again and he was really nice and complimentary. I'm glad I was able to educate at least one person. It is never ok to make fun of someone just because they are different.

I'm sorry you had this happen. Hopefully you can find a way to get the surgery. I went to Mexico because my insurance doesn't cover any WLS. Also, after 29 years of being overweight I decided I wanted my 30's to be the best years of my life since I "wasted" my 20's.

The children’s comments sound much like my grandsons. My grandsons are ages 3 and 5. They occasionally make comments about papaw’s big belly much to my daughter’s dismay. Their daddy and paternal grandfather are tall and super slim so I guess I just look so different. A few minutes after the big belly comment they are telling me they love me and that I’m the best papaw ever. It's hard to hear comments like their's but they didn't really mean to insult.

After loosing all this weight, my grandkids commented that they miss the old me, where my soft tummy made a nice pillow.

After loosing all this weight, my grandkids commented that they miss the old me, where my soft tummy made a nice pillow.

Funny you mention that! When I was a young teen, my mom lost about 65 lbs because she found out she had Type II Diabetes.

Diabetes picked the wrong lady to mess with and in her usual fashion, she did not eff around! She became a runner and would run up to 5 miles a day M-Sat and kicked Diabetes arse!

This was 35 years ago and she has maintained ever since and never batted an eye. She is in her early 70s, is wracked with osteo-arthritis but not even that stops her! She walks now instead of running and she's got the legs of a 25 year old dancer still! I am so proud of her.....

BUT I remember missing her cushion-y hugs! LOL

I'll take her slender, healthy hugs over no hugs any day though!