So I am laying in the bathtub after a LONG past week just relaxing...then I started self hating. What the heck?

I am "almost" 7 months out, I am doing FANTASTIC...down 113 lbs, I used to wear a size 24-26 pants and now I am in size 14, I can go into any store and just pick something up knowing it will fit or pick it up and say, wow that's huge now, I can't imagine 7 months ago when I needed this size. But yet...as I layed in the bathtub I looked at my excess skin (which I am sure over the next year will get better) stretch marks from being overweight and my 2 pregnancies and started self hating. I stopped myself right away and started pointing out all of the amazing things that I have accomplished over the past 7 months. Has anyone else caught themselves doing this?

How about this...When I was fat...ha ha when,that's fun to say...I was 320 at my top weight...I never really saw myself as being that big. Until those darn cameras came out and I thought holy cow...I am that big? where are my knee caps? why am I always in pain? Now I know I am smaller, I can cross my legs I have the cutest little knee caps (yup I am weird) but somewhere in my head I still "feel" like I am the fat girl in the room...This is also changing...I am really LOOKING in the mirror and realizing the beautiful person that I am. My confidence is through the roof, I even have dreams of going for a run? What is up with that! ha ha!!

LOVING my new sleeve, LOVING my new life...I have a lot to be grateful for this year. INcluding this site which has helped me grow and learn and touch others lives that I would of never been able to before. Family pictures are this weekend and I am REALLY looking forward to them! that's another first!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

There have been many articles written about the "fat person within us" and how we can't see the metamorphis we have accomplished. The inferior person within is still kicking us in the shins and telling us we don't deserve this...but WE DO!!!

It's very hard to get out of our own heads on this, when we have been self haters for years...decades...but you will learn to embrace the new, fabulous you that was always there inside you...even, if...on rare occasion, you take a step into the darkness... put up reminders of the NEW YOU all over the place and enjoy what you have accomplished for yourself!

Congrats!

Edited November 26, 201411 yr by BigGirlPanties

Love this, thank you so much!!

Hey, you were laying in the bathtub! That is one of the biggest NSVs I am looking forward to.

Wow! You are doing amazing!

About the being a hater, I am always doing it and I still feel like the fat girl in the room even though I have lost a little more then 100lbs. I still see the same girl in the mirror. I am glad you can pull yourself back to the positive side!

Be proud and rock that size 14 (and shrinking)!