Hi all... Looking for some assistance on how I can best support a friend....

My friend is having lap band surgery and I don't know the best way to be supportive. Certainly, I have, and will continue, to listen when she needs to talk, but I'm not sure if there's something *I* should be asking or doing.

Is there anything you wish someone had done for you? Something you wish they hadn't?

Any help you can offer that can help me be the best friend I can would be greatly appreciated!

Edited November 10, 201411 yr by SantasLittleHelper

For me, mentally and emotionally being supported was my biggest help. Knowing people were genuinely happy for me and there for me was the best. Maybe help with after care. Swing by and check on them. Surprise them with stuff they may need and want. Encouragement is the best. You're a great friend for even seeking out help!!! They are lucky to have you!!

Thanks... and what kind of stuff might be needed or wanted? Sadly, food is usually the go-to for illness or post-surgery, but obviously not in this case.... Maybe trashy magazines? Nail polish? Inappropriate or right on the mark?

Yes! Magazines, nail polish. Fluids are huge. My husband brought my vitamin water zeros and I was stoked because plain water gets boring. Or even crystal light that she can add to her water. Maybe fun socks.... I've been cold since I came home. Or slippers! Comfy clothes. I'm 3 weeks out and jeans tend to hurt. Yoga or sweat pants are the most comfortable right now. She'll rest a lot so maybe a cute blanket she can drag from room to room.

*Great* ideas! Thanks! I'm on it!

Best of luck to you and feel good!

No problem. Wish her the best of luck. This app has been pretty helpful! Let me know if you need anything else! And thank you! ????????☺️

@@SantasLittleHelper, Wow, what an example of true friendship support!! Things I could appreciate are: a prepared meal every now and then (tailored to my diet), anything that will make it easier for meal planning and exercise such as a cool music playlist for walking/exercising - exercise with them sometimes! Since protein is a must, a good protein powder (low sugar). Periodic support calls, text, email, etc. if they go to support group mtgs, ask if they wouldn't mind if you went with them. Ask how you can help them best. Any kind of genuine encouragement is wonderful. These are the things that would have helped me!

I think the biggest thing for me in the beginning was people NOT watching my every bite and constantly asking me if I could eat something I was eating or looking at or talking about.

As she starts to loose the weight, people might ask "how did you do it?". I really didn't want to tell them that I had lapband surgery, but I felt deceitful if I did'nt tell the truth. Everyone had the same reaction..."oh, ...you look great... What they weren't saying was....oh, that was an easy way out. This is the most challenging life style change imaginable. Not an easy fix.

You sound like a friend who will be supportive and encouraging . You can be my friend anytime!

Thanks all.... I will take your advice and also, I guess, just ask how I can help. I guess it's ok to say, "I want to help, I just don't know how, can you tell me?" Right?

Absolutely!!

Encourage walking!