my brother and mother are really getting me down

my brother is very obese and at one point he lost over 100 lbs by diet and excersise and eventually gained it back and MORE and now weighs well over 325 lbs.

he is always telling me "I WOULDNT DO WHAT YOUR DOING" meanwhile when he comes to my house he will bring a BAG of chocolate and sit there and eat the ENTIRE THING....

my mother hasn't once given me a word of encouragement, happiness for me or reassurance that things will be fine. she isn't "fat" but she isn't thin either. she is definitely over weight.....

things seem to go really nice for me in my life. I am super happy. I have a house, new car, great job, wonderful daughter...im getting married this march...and its always like they seem to try and get in my way and ever since I told them about this surgery.....they DARE NOT ask me when, who is doing it, how long...anything!!

told my mom I had a surgery date...ZERO RESPONSE.ZERO HAPPINESS. ZERO !!!!

my dad fully supports me, he knoiws I have struggled my entire life and im in a position I can change my life he is so gung ho. same with my grandparents....

jealousy????

UGH I am sorry that you don't have the support from your Brother and Mother. Family support means a lot to me too so I know where you are coming from. Gravitate towards the people who are in your corner, remember, you are doing this for YOU, it's time for YOU and YOU will do great!!

i'm sorry that you're facing that. who knows why they are acting that way... but the important thing is that you don't let it get you down! you have all of us for a support group, and we'll understand and echo your feelings every step of the way.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. It seems all of us go through a crucible when it comes to changing our lives. You are strong for taking these steps and your future has gotten that much brighter for it. We are here for you when you need us.

brother and mother are getting me down

@@deftonestiffany

thank goodness for your dad - and grandparents

they are wonderful

being happy, loving and supportive for you

can't get much better than that??

I don't like to try and analyze why people act/feel the way they do

who knows why some people do what they do

what matters, is that you are happy for yourself

glad things in general are going well

fiance, daughter, home, car and job

it is easier said than done......"try" not to let anyones negative responses/feelings hurt you

you are on the way to a healthier, happier, longer life

who deserves it more

good luck with pending surgery

speedy recovery

kathy

I have the same problem with my mom. When I told her my surgery date was set, she said she hoped I came to my senses before then. I politely informed her that an Ebola breakout would have to shut down the hospital for me to change my mind.

I am fortunate that my husband fully supports me as well as co workers...I teach in a school where three people have already had WLS and I'll be next! I am ready to move on with my life and let my mom see that this was the right decision.

I just pray hard that there is no complications so I don't have to hear the "I told you so"

I think some of it may also be guilt if they know u are trying to change your life they may be feeling guilty/ resentful knowing what they are doing is not healthy it's possible they don't want to be reminded that they are overweight or unhealthy and if u change its a reminder to them if they don't support u they don't have to change what they are doing or even acknowledge that maybe they need to I had a similar thing happen when I quit smoking most people I knew smoked one very good friend did as well but had major lung problems so when we all gradually quit smoking she was extremely hostile angry nasty etc accused us of judging her and said we weren't going to pressure her into quitting etc we did no such thing I mean really? We all had smoked too where the heck would we have the right to say anything to anyone else that would have been crazy I did have one rule I wouldn't budge on tho no one could smoke in my house after I quit which is my right after all it's my house lol I'd never tell others what to do in the their homes though so just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward u don't have justify your decisions to anyone or make them feel better about unhealthy eating and they have no right to bully you or play games to try to change your mind

You can't control their reactions. You can only control your reaction to them. You know they are not particularly supportive, so don't expect any from them. Focus on the support you are getting from your dad, finance and other friends. And if your brother comes over to your house with a bag of candy you are fully able to tell hem to GTFO and to not eat it in front of you. Your house. Your rules. He can eat that crap in the car if it is triggering to you.