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I went public

I went public on Facebook. My close family and friends knew I was planning to get banded and I wanted to be able to share updates with them, so I shared with the rest of my friends.. mostly the comments were positive.

Are you public or private? Who have you told or not told and why?

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Congratulations to you! Everyone that knows me had known for years that I wanted the Lapband. I am very public about it and most people are supportive. Proud of you!

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My sister expressed upset but I wrote to her privately and told her my reasons and how much I weigh now. She sent back a beautiful and supportive note (I live in America, she lives in France) telling me how brave I am, she brought tears to my eyes, wonderful when you read something and know someone that matters to you gets you.

I have told my family and friends. At first I was going to keep it quiet but changed my mind. I do not talk about it on facebook, because I am sure there would be some negative comments. Good luck!

I kept it quiet at first but as the weight started to literally fall off, I knew that most folks could figure it out anyway. I must say that all the comments have been positive so that's a good thing. But for me, it was an obvious medical need as my mobility was in jeopardy. I used to use a cane and was in terrible pain. These days, I walk unaided and nearly normally again so there's no reason for anyone to be negative. Good luck...as long as you are good with your decision, that's all that matters.

I was going to keep it private, but I decided that I was going to go public about a week or two pre-op. The comments were across the spectrum, and my brother called me in tears BEGGING me not to go through with it. He called me again the night before my surgery to say that it wasn't too late to change my mind ... and I told him no. That I needed to do this. He said "OK. Just don't die on the table. I love you."

my friends have been AMAZINGLY supportive, and I have a few friends who have had either lap band or gastric sleeve surgery. One of my friends said that her ex-wife had the roux en y gastric bypass surgery, and she's been a MAJOR support for me. So, it depends on what people have experienced, have heard, and are willing to hear.

I kept it private... too many of my relatives would be likely to say or think that they'd "never go that route," or have similar comments. I don't need to be judged on what tool I use to lose weight.

And if you succeed, they general consensus will be that you could have, or should have done it on your own...

If you fail, they'll use it as a sign of weakness or as a judgement to condemn WLS as being a failure and a desperate measure. People can be cruel. I've told a very few family members, and I do share info with anyone who has had the surgery. They understand what is going on.

  • Author

I think you make a lot of great points labwalker and one of the things I will be doing on Facebook is sharing the journey and the things we have to go through to get there to show it isn't easy, that the band doesn't do it all for us. To be honest when I first found this out I thought.. well why have the thing then? But I get it now.

I am getting really excited, going to the seminar tonight with my husband, we will be there in just over an hour!! I feel like this is the start of the journey. I am prepared for what I hear, I have done a ton of research and reading but I think it is going to come as a surprise or shock to my husband. He isn't the most sympathetic or supportive person in the world but I told him I want him at the seminar. I want him to really understand the process.. ya know?

Yes I understand..He should know! I'm very excited for you!

Im private. I herd to many of my friends and family say it's the easy way out. But they don't understand. It's not going to fall off on its own it still takes work. But id rather just keep it hush and if someone asks how I'm losing weight ill just say hard work and dedication! !! Because that's what it's going to take. I haven't been banded yet. Im waiting on insurance

Im private. I herd to many of my friends and family say it's the easy way out. But they don't understand. It's not going to fall off on its own it still takes work. But id rather just keep it hush and if someone asks how I'm losing weight ill just say hard work and dedication! !! Because that's what it's going to take. I haven't been banded yet. Im waiting on insurance

  • Author

The seminar was great, only five people there and only three of those were looking to be banded. It wasn't a 'sell' if anything it was the opposite. Very truthful and open. More later.

  • Author

We did the seminar. I liked how honest it was, it wasn't a 'sell' at all, in fact quite the opposite. It made very clear just what kind of restrictions there are on eating and drinking. They seem to have a great team, psychologist, dietician, surgeon, insurance specialist.. it's one of our local hospitals in a very large healthcare system. I found out they insist on certain tests being up to date before surgery, like colonoscopy, mammography, physical and blood tests so I have been busy this morning arranging those to get a head start.

A part of me says I am crazy and should just diet, but that is what I have done since I was 6 years old.. and it hasn't worked long term in 50 years soooo....

Ok, I have to be honest and say that I have not told alot of people. I am scheduled for surgery on 9/3/14 and am very excited for the next chapter in my life to begin. With that being said, I have only shared this journey with my husband of course, a few close church friends and my grown sons. I am fighting an internal battle about whether or not to tell my parents. Part of me thinks I should just in case something were to happen during surgery. But the logical me says, "nope, don't do it"

You see, I am the youngest of 7 and even though I will be 44 on Sunday, I am still treated very much like a child. Also, as much as I love my family, they are VERY judgemental. My mom can't hold Water, so if I told her, I might as well tell everyone.

I am really trying to surround myself with positivity right now. I have heard all my life that I will always be a "BIG" girl and been called Big Momma or Fat Jo! So forgive me if I am not ready to hear my siblings tell me to, "just put the fork down and get away from the table!" or "Go to the Gym!"

I am happy that you have the strength and courage to go public! Maybe with some prayer and belief in myself, I will eventually be able to do the same thing!

I have heard a few people say that its the easy way but it isn't! It takes a strong person to go through surgery! Most of us have daily pain and chronic conditions. We still have to exercise and make good choices! All of you should be so proud of yourselves for making the decision to change your lives and your health! Whatever your choice, private or public, you've made a great decision. Love and be proud of the strength that you have. God bless all of you!

Hey Josiek, we will be banded on the same date. I think it's going to be an awesome day!!

My parents know and even though my mum is concerned for me, she knows that I need this to save my life. My sister also needs a gastric procedure but can't afford it at this time and if mum could pay for it - it would be done. So even though I don't know your family dynamics, maybe your folks would be supportive as well. If you don't tell them, it may hurt them to think that you didn't feel you could confide in them and want their support.

Would love to compare stories as we go through this process. All the best to you!

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