Oh my gosh I cant for the life of me figure out what I did on the 19th!!! Why am I such a weak person to have to have something put in my body THAT I CANT TAKE OUT!!! I am freaking out hourly crying and bawling and I cant control it. I know the lack of sleep does not help but COME ON!!! Surgery went fine and I really had no pain that was higher than an 8 on the pain scale but it wasnt even my stomach that hurt it was my back!!! I was nauseated ALOT and several times spit out my spit in order to try to control the feeling. My oxygen levels went really low when I went for walks so I had to stay the night. Which was fine with me. The gas pain is bad at times and just when I think it has gone away....here it comes again. I AM AN EMOTIONAL WRECK....I know what everyone is going to say....Hang in there it gets better...but right now I dont see that. I still think this thing inside me is going to end up killing me somehow and I am just to scared to relax enough to get any rest. BUT I have been walking walking walking and hubby pats on my back, that seems to really help with getting some gas out..kinda like burping a baby!! Anyways, thats my emotional roller coaster..first it is the roller coaster of waiting to have it done and then comes this one...OH BROTHER!! Am I going to make it??????:cry :cry :cry I know I will but I sure hope this feeling goes away FAST!!! Deanna... banded 19th of April, just got home Friday the 20th at 1:00pm Mountain time.

Woo hoo! You're on your way!

hi areellady,

i had the same emotional reaction you did the first 2 days after surgery. i felt like a "failure, why did i have to have this put in me to lose weight and why am i so weak".

i was embarassed as well that someone would know i got the lapband. and no matter what anyone in my family told me to encourage me....didnt help

i think some of this came from the anesthesia but i needed to process everything

the good news....my feelings have changed.... i really started looking at this as a tool...and after some weight comes off....i'm actually ok with this

the reason i'm telling you this is so that you know others have similar feelings

i belong to a 12 step program and they say "feelings arent facts" and "this too shall pass"

anyway take care

Hello!

Wow, this is a powerful topic. I am days away from my medical consult and I am getting seriously nervous. I am not supposed to though because I have this thing where I am not supposed to be weak and have put my gaurd up. I am sure I will get through this process, but for now, OMG.

Reading all these posts is very touching. I hope you are all coming along, and congrats to those of you who are feeling better day by day.

Anything worth having takes time.

<p>Once again a BIG THANK YOU TO THOSE YOU write to encourage me and let me know that THIS too shall pass and I will feel great with time. I am through with the feelings of failure for having it put it me but I still get scared feeling where I almost feel like I could hyperventilate because I keep thinking what if something is going on inside me and I am bleeding or something... I know these feelings will pass too...one good thing...I got some good sleep last night, it was in spurts, but 4-5 hours at a time...I think that is pretty good. Thanks again to all of you!! And if you havent been banded...dont let me scare you...its just emotions and really no worse than when you cry because you are so fat that you cant ride rides at amusement parks with your kids, or cant fit into the biggest size clothing in your closet. We are all familiar with emotions of eating and I guess this is just a new unfamiliar one to me, because a week ago, I could of stuffed my face with cake and cookies and tried to make myself feel better...but now I have to deal with the raw emotions of what I have done to myself the last 20 years and try my hardest to overcome it. Good luck to all!!! Deanna</p>

You go girl! You're on the right track now! This is a brand new opportunity for a clean, fresh start in life. It's exciting and rewarding and I'm really happy you're feeling better!

I think you are to be commended for asking for help when you knew you needed it! I tis very hard to accept our dependence on food, and as in any addiction, facing giving it up is sometimes frightening. You will face other moments like that as you travel along the bandster journey. You will also be able to depend on the support you can receive right here at LBT. We have all been right where you are...and we have both failed and succeeded, depending on the moment. LOL!

Try to take each day as it comes, and make the best decisions you can each day. Don't try to be "perfect" all the time. That's just unreasonable, isn't it? Too much pressure. Do the best you can, and you'll see: you'll be a big success, too!

Good luck!

Cindy

Awe, thanks mousecrazy and lapbandit you guys need to be the resident GOOD WILL wishers!!

OK. I won't tell you it's going to get better, I will only tell you it did get better for me. I had my band placed on March 19. The first week, I thought what the heck did I just do to myself. While my surgeon was wonderful, my hospital stay was horrible and my pain was unbearable. I could not believe I'd done this.

Week two I started to feel a little better, but still struggled with the decision I'd made. My hubby continued to be supportive and I leaned on my new friends I'd met on several of the boards. I wined and cried and they listened and supported.

Week three I went in for my post op visit and I'd lost 10lbs. I felt pretty good and began to feel like myself again except for the continued port pain. I scheduled my first fill for May 1 and began to look toward the future.

I'm in week four and my port pain is gone. I've lost more weight, but I don't know exactly how much because my scale committed suicide about 2 months ago. I could not be happier with my decision to have lapband surgery and I'm very excited about what the future will bring.

I won't tell you it's going to get better, but I will tell you it did get better for me.

255/245/180

March 19

LapBand

Dr. Agos, Chicago, IL

Swedish Covenant Hospital

Mannamay: I'm glad you are nervous. This is a big step, and there's a lot to learn both before and after banding. Even if you keep your guard up and don't show it, you can always write it here! We done bin there. Congratualtions on starting this journey. To your health.......

mannamay,

it is perfectly normal to be nervous as you get closer. i was excited but nervous. I kept second guessing myself and asking my fiancé "am I doing the right thing?". Even though i had researched for like 1.5 years, had the perfect doctor, etc. I heavily thought about backing out. I kept thinking, "hell, I can do this myself, it is just common sense, and determination" But then i had a reality check. i thought of all the diets i had tried. i thought of my job and my lifestyle and how I hibernate so many of those factors that scientists today have discovered lead to obesity. I realized that I really need this step to get my life back. yes, i will have to exercise and eat right, but I need that feeling of fullness. I needed to slow down too. I did it for all the people I love and who love me so that i would be here for them for a long time. And by the way, you will have some doubts after too, "can I do it?" "Why aren't I doing better?". We are over-eaters because of these types of self doubts. Don't kid yourself, if all were right with the world and our egos were what they should be, we wouldn't be overweight. Ever notice some people just take the time to exercise. they make sure they do. If something else falls by the wayside, they feel that are worth it and that it isn't selfish because by taking care of themselves, they are taking care of others too. They will be healthy and be there for them. Sort of goes back to what they used to tell us when we were kids ' you must love yourself before you can love others'. We, especially women, wind up taking care of others and not taking care of ourselves. Everyone else's needs are more important it seems. Well, that is just wrong. Now is the time we need to take for ourselves. You deserve it and don't let those little fears (even if they seem big at times) stop you from putting you first for once!!!!

Awe, I loved that part about its time to put ourselves first as women!! YEAH WOMEN!!!! That was a awesome post reqgoddess!!!! Deanna

Don't those infomercials just make you crazy??? We just need to exercise and diet and we'll be fine, and if we don't, we're lazy! Grrr.

I had my band placed on March 19. The first week, I thought what the heck did I just do to myself. While my surgeon was wonderful, my hospital stay was horrible and my pain was unbearable. I could not believe I'd done this.

Week two I started to feel a little better, but still struggled with the decision I'd made. My hubby continued to be supportive and I leaned on my new friends I'd met on several of the boards. I wined and cried and they listened and supported.

Week three I went in for my post op visit and I'd lost 10lbs. I felt pretty good and began to feel like myself again except for the continued port pain. I scheduled my first fill for May 1 and began to look toward the future.

I'm in week four and my port pain is gone. I've lost more weight, but I don't know exactly how much because my scale committed suicide about 2 months ago. I could not be happier with my decision to have lapband surgery and I'm very excited about what the future will bring.

I won't tell you it's going to get better, but I will tell you it did get better for me.

255/245/180

March 19

LapBand

Dr. Agos, Chicago, IL

Swedish Covenant Hospital

Hey, Bandsister! Ditto! I'm feeling SO good now and have my first fill appointment on the 30th--one week from today. My feelings have been much like yours, except that I didn't have a bad hospital experience--I had outpatient surgery and came home just a few hours afterwards. All went well--of course, all of the "what did I do?", "will I ever quit belching?", "will my port always hurt?", etc., etc. was still part of my recovery. But I did recover and am ready to move forward. I got to start on solid foods this weekend and, let me tell you, food never tasted SO good! I even had toast for Breakfast this morning. Yummm.

So good luck to everyone--sounds like we are all ready to move forward and use this amazing tool to our advantage. We are going to be great tool operators, right?!

I am so glad you are doing so good!!! Good Job!! TOAST??? OH MY I dream of the toast...not really the toast just the butter melting off the sides...mmmmmmmmmmmmm GREAT...now this tea is just not going to cut it!!! Deanna