Going thru this process I have been taking a mental/emotional journey. Why am I so fat? Why do I eat each meal like it’s my last? What’s with all the rage all the time? Why am I using food to feed my soul?

In another thread about how people will say having surgery is an easy way out made me remember my past thoughts on wls. A few years ago three people within mere months had wls. And all I could think was that same old bullshit ‘taking the easy way out’ ‘just eat less and workout more’ ‘it isn’t going to work because people have regained the weight so you’re wasting your time’. Funny thing is I actually knew NO ONE that had actually regained the weight, just heard stories. I knew NOTHING about the surgeries. I had NO facts to make an intelligent decision about it. So I base my highly unintelligent opinion on NOTHING!!!

Now that I am here, going thru my checklist of items I need to accomplish in order to get a surgery date, I reflect back. How many other times have I spouted off with my mouth on stuff I didn’t know about? Who the hell am I to judge anyone? I am no one special. Have I walked the proverbial mile in their shoes? No I didn’t.

So I am thinking that maybe I need to STFU way more and show more compassion to my fellow human beings. Granted if you asked people that know me, they wouldn’t say I am anywhere near as bad as I am painting myself right now. A lot of it is internal thoughts and feelings that I don't say. But I think with a more positive aura, I think I would be a better person.

I saw a Pinterest sign ‘Everyone is trying to fight their own battles, try not to be a c*nt’. So that is what I am trying not to do-not be a c*nt to other people and myself. And maybe if I wasn’t so harsh on myself, I may not have such an issue with food…..

Just my random thoughts~

I think a lot of us could have written this post . . . or at least we could have if we were this well-spoken

So many of us have spent a long time dealing with various emotional issues with food, and thinking we knew how to solve our food-related problems at the same time. That we knew better than other people. At least I did. It was humbling to come to the conclusion that I am NOT smart about food or health and I do NOT have the answers. I need to find experts and listen to them and not make assumptions and judgments. That was a bitter pill for me!

I do think you hit the nail on the head at the end there when you call yourself out for not being kind to yourself. I can see you are an incredibly bright, thoughtful, and caring person just from what you've written here. Be good to yourself and patient with yourself, forgive yourself for what you see as your past errors -- you deserve it!

Breaking Red: Thank you so much for your post. And like Bufflehead said, it could have been written by hundreds+ of us here.

I too decided at the start of this process that I was going to throw out everything I knew, or thought I knew, about weight loss, exercise, nutrition, etc… and actually seek out the best team I could and listen to them for a change.

I'm early in the process, but I am continuing to work hard at seeking out positive, like-minded people to support me.

Be well, everyone…

Going thru this process I have been taking a mental/emotional journey. Why am I so fat? Why do I eat each meal like it’s my last? What’s with all the rage all the time? Why am I using food to feed my soul?

In another thread about how people will say having surgery is an easy way out made me remember my past thoughts on wls. A few years ago three people within mere months had wls. And all I could think was that same old bullshit ‘taking the easy way out’ ‘just eat less and workout more’ ‘it isn’t going to work because people have regained the weight so you’re wasting your time’. Funny thing is I actually knew NO ONE that had actually regained the weight, just heard stories. I knew NOTHING about the surgeries. I had NO facts to make an intelligent decision about it. So I base my highly unintelligent opinion on NOTHING!!!

Now that I am here, going thru my checklist of items I need to accomplish in order to get a surgery date, I reflect back. How many other times have I spouted off with my mouth on stuff I didn’t know about? Who the hell am I to judge anyone? I am no one special. Have I walked the proverbial mile in their shoes? No I didn’t.

So I am thinking that maybe I need to STFU way more and show more compassion to my fellow human beings. Granted if you asked people that know me, they wouldn’t say I am anywhere near as bad as I am painting myself right now. A lot of it is internal thoughts and feelings that I don't say. But I think with a more positive aura, I think I would be a better person.

I saw a Pinterest sign ‘Everyone is trying to fight their own battles, try not to be a c*nt’. So that is what I am trying not to do-not be a c*nt to other people and myself. And maybe if I wasn’t so harsh on myself, I may not have such an issue with food…..

Just my random thoughts~

The one sentence in your post that really caught my eye was "What's with all the rage all the time".

Man, you really hit the nail on the head for me with that one. Sometimes my anger comes out of nowhere and it comes up so quickly.

Don't know why.

I agree many of us are our own harshest critic. I wonder where I picked up that particular talent from.

Welcome to the trip down the "loser's" highway.

I wish you well,

Kathleen

compassion for others begins with compassion for ourselves. many of us dont have any experience treating ourselves with compassion and loving kindness. hence our difficulty in taking care of our health, eating right exercising, making good decisions.

beginning with compassion for ourselves is a great place to start with this surgery. you can't hate yourself into being healthy.

Things like this confuse me but then again I am a simple person. No rage here, just the desire to life a few more years with my husband. Best wishes. Coping and happy.