A week ago me and my partner was in Salt Lake for Comic Con. A well needed vacation. We decided to go out to the bar the last night. We didn't have anything to wear nice so we went to the mall and went clothes shopping. Everything I tried was way to small. We finally ended up getting me measured and discovered I was up to 48 size jeans. Humiliating.

I still can wear my 40s but I think they stretched and grew along with me.

I am a 36 year old guy, gay, always had a problem with my weight. I was a fat kid. I achieved weight loss twice in my life, at 21 I was in school and just coming out, I reached as far as 175 lbs.

Unfortunately I got into a bad relationship after that, gained back the weight probably to 320 lbs..

After 8 years I became restless and awoken, decided I was going to get out of this funk lose the weight and become better. I was still with this guy and within 8 months I was back down to 200 or so. He became more abusive and cruel and jealous so we had to part ways.

After finding my current partner I discovered I was HIV positive. And my emotional walls came falling down and I started to eat my emotions again.

After the weekend my partner looked up and found bariactric surgery was available with our United healthcare insurance. We just met with a doctor and they said that everything should be to go forth but not at their hospital.

I had to call for some sort of six month program which I am still waiting to hear from.

I am ready though. I hope I can do this.

I am so tired of struggling. I am so tired of worrying that I'm going to die of heart disease, diabetes, etc. I want to be "normal" and live life to the fullest.

I have so many things I'm up against. I would like it to be one less thing I have to deal with.

I gather it is a tool. I gather it will be hard but I'm up for it.

So how bad does it hurt?

Anyone wish they didn't do it?

What is with this 6 month deal?

Well in the last four months I have lost 12 pounds on this diet that my dietician gave me. Is there a danger in losing that much for the insurance to cover? I'm afraid the insurance will look at something like that and say oh well he doesn't need surgery.

I do have my psych eval scheduled along with other appointments for Sept 5th. They said it takes over three hours to do it. Wtf? What kind of testing is this? I hate tests. I hate psychologists too. Lol.

Insurance approved my surgery, waiting on the doctor to call me, or for me to get ahold of the doctor, actually, to get a scheduled surgery, hopefully before the year ends. I am way nervous. But I am still ready.

Exciting! Good luck! Hopefully you can still get it around thanksgiving like you planned.

I have my surgery set, December 10th. I can believe it really. It's like I've been in a line waiting all year and now I'm rolls up that first stretch of the roller coaster and anxious about the big decline.

I have to do a pre op meeting in twin falls on the 3rd. (I thought I already did that) and a pre op appointment in Boise on the 21st.