I can't quite believe that one year ago today, I was waiting to go into hospital for surgery...

I had lost 16lbs pre-op, but still had over 70lbs to go at only 5'2". I had type 2 diabetes, was taking a serious combination of chemo and injections to control my arthritis and I was being urged to take medication for my high blood pressure. On the outside, I was professionally successful and didn't appear to care about my weight and its effects.

Inside? Oh I cared. I was lethargic, miserable and probably depressed. I could barely go up a flight of stairs, wouldn't/couldn't walk any distance and my eating was out of control, although I would never have admitted it. I hated me and punished myself with food.

But it was also my self-medication. It numbed the pain related to the rest of my life but was also the biggest cause of many of my problems. I ate when I was happy. I ate when I was sad. I ate when I was angry, in fact I ate in response to every emotion I experienced.

Having become single after a 30 year relationship, I thought no one would ever look at me again... So a year ago today, I wasn't in a good or happy place. I was quietly desperate for a new life. I was hanging on by my fingernails because I couldn't see how I could ever lose weight.

Looking back, it really is like looking at someone else. It's still me - but not me. The year has been ostensibly about losing weight but it has also been about the parallel changes going on inside my head. The lighter I've become, the happier I have become. It has been like a rebirth as the real me has re-emerged from where I have been buried for most of my adult life.

It hasn't all been easy. But I stuck to what my surgeon asked of me at every stage, didn't deviate but that worked for me. It took discipline and patience but my sleeve has given me that. What a partnership! Every time I have struggled, it has stood firm. Yes, there have been occasions I have made bad choices. But with my better health (no HBP, no diabetes and my meds for arthritis now down to one injection per fortnight), my normal sized body and my positive outlook, those now consist of momentary lapses - I don't dwell or beat myself up, I forgive myself and move on.

So life one year on, do I have regrets? None, not one. I am the person I want to be, I look how I want to look and I have so much hope for the future. Have been on some dates, go dancing, walking, travelling and have started running. I laugh all the time and have had such fun with friends old and new. Who would have guessed it! I have spent this year saying "yes" to invitations I would never dreamed of accepting before - and probably wouldn't have been invited to when I was miserable and angry with myself.

I am living a life transformed, excited to be alive and looking forward to the many happy and healthy years that I believe now lie ahead of me. I will be eternally grateful to have been sleeved.

I can't go back and comfort and console the girl who was waiting nervously for surgery a year ago and tell her it will all work out for the best. But her determination and courage is why I am here today, living life out loud. So I say to all of you starting out on the journey or who are coming behind me - I wish you well and if it works out half as well for you as it has for me, hold tight for a fantastic new life. And to those of you who have supported and believed in me over the last year, a heartfelt thank you.

Jacqui x

Thank you all for the kind words. If you are heading for surgery and life has been feeling a bit tough, keep thinking where you might be a year down the line. It will be so worth it.

JanetRN, great idea, we should all write letters to ourselves as we go for surgery and read the a year out. It's easy to forget just how far we have come.

Madam Reverie, thanks but you forget I have seen your face - and you are a stunning girl... I have to try harder than you cos I am an oldie ))

Law001, you can do this - I never imagined that I could have control over my eating but I have. So can you. I am not perfect. Sometimes it slips and I have a cookie. But I have one, not a packet :-)

Had my first "she's too thin..." comment today. Did I quake in my boots and rush to a mirror to see if I was? Did I take it to heart like so many negative comments about me in the past? Nope I did the happy dance and laughed cos I know I am just normal, like many other people.

Losing weight has restored my confidence and belief in myself. I am not a screw up or screwed up. I have my days when I am tearing my hair out but I don't eat myself into oblivion. No more punishing myself...

Instead, I savour every moment of being normal. Was in a plane yesterday and everyone was so nice to me from the flight attendant, who commented on my smart coat, to the man who helped me put it in the overhead locker (I must look little and helpless now ha ha!) to the taxi driver who jumped out his cab to help the "young lady" with her bag.

It is a joy to be alive...

Congratulations, you tiny little thing. What a year for you!

I can't quite believe that one year ago today, I was waiting to go into hospital for surgery...

I had lost 16lbs pre-op, but still had over 70lbs to go at only 5'2". I had type 2 diabetes, was taking a serious combination of chemo and injections to control my arthritis and I was being urged to take medication for my high blood pressure. On the outside, I was professionally successful and didn't appear to care about my weight and its effects.

Inside? Oh I cared. I was lethargic, miserable and probably depressed. I could barely go up a flight of stairs, wouldn't/couldn't walk any distance and my eating was out of control, although I would never have admitted it. I hated me and punished myself with food.

But it was also my self-medication. It numbed the pain related to the rest of my life but was also the biggest cause of many of my problems. I ate when I was happy. I ate when I was sad. I ate when I was angry, in fact I ate in response to every emotion I experienced.

Having become single after a 30 year relationship, I thought no one would ever look at me again... So a year ago today, I wasn't in a good or happy place. I was quietly desperate for a new life. I was hanging on by my fingernails because I couldn't see how I could ever lose weight.

Looking back, it really is like looking at someone else. It's still me - but not me. The year has been ostensibly about losing weight but it has also been about the parallel changes going on inside my head. The lighter I've become, the happier I have become. It has been like a rebirth as the real me has re-emerged from where I have been buried for most of my adult life.

It hasn't all been easy. But I stuck to what my surgeon asked of me at every stage, didn't deviate but that worked for me. It took discipline and patience but my sleeve has given me that. What a partnership! Every time I have struggled, it has stood firm. Yes, there have been occasions I have made bad choices. But with my better health (no HBP, no diabetes and my meds for arthritis now down to one injection per fortnight), my normal sized body and my positive outlook, those now consist of momentary lapses - I don't dwell or beat myself up, I forgive myself and move on.

So life one year on, do I have regrets? None, not one. I am the person I want to be, I look how I want to look and I have so much hope for the future. Have been on some dates, go dancing, walking, travelling and have started running. I laugh all the time and have had such fun with friends old and new. Who would have guessed it! I have spent this year saying "yes" to invitations I would never dreamed of accepting before - and probably wouldn't have been invited to when I was miserable and angry with myself.

I am living a life transformed, excited to be alive and looking forward to the many happy and healthy years that I believe now lie ahead of me. I will be eternally grateful to have been sleeved.

I can't go back and comfort and console the girl who was waiting nervously for surgery a year ago and tell her it will all work out for the best. But her determination and courage is why I am here today, living life out loud. So I say to all of you starting out on the journey or who are coming behind me - I wish you well and if it works out half as well for you as it has for me, hold tight for a fantastic new life. And to those of you who have supported and believed in me over the last year, a heartfelt thank you.

Jacqui x

Thank u for sharing...I am so excited to be telling my story of success!!!

Hello everyone!

Your stories are inspiring. I'm currently on day-2 of the 7-day pre-op liquid diet. Even though my surgery is so close, l feel like it won't happen to me. I've been overweight for so very long and have been so miserable. Every story I read is 'me'. At this stage it's difficult to imagine myself a year from now - hopefully over a hundred pounds lighter. I want to feel good again; be active and healthy! Your stories are my motivation; thank you!

I found your post today, the very day I got my surgery date. After waiting forever for the date, suddenly I couldn't decide if I was ready or would it all be for nothing? Would I really lose weight when nothing has ever worked before? Thanks for sharing and helping to restore my confidence. I'm glad you are so happy and were willing to share the light at the end of the tunnel.

Beautiful story!!! Thank you for sharing. Sounds like me .

Jacqui, you are truely an inspirational and beautiful lady inside and out!! Congratulations on your "New You". You remind me of a butterfly who is loving every minute of your flight! Hugs