A FB "friend" posted this speaking about me.

Although I never blasted the fact I had wls on FB, all of my friends, family, and coworkers are well aware, but she just learned about it today:

"That moment when you look up to someone who lost weight and then you find out they had "the surgery" -- CRUSHED"

I didn't mean to "crush" anyone... I assure you.

And I like how "the surgery" sounds like a disease. lol

Ahhh "The Easy Way Out" syndrome.

Yeah, tell them they need to go on a 2 week liquid diet, followed up by removal of 80% of their stomach, recover from surgery, start working out, figuring out how to eat with 80% of their stomach all while addressing food addiction and emotional problems.

Yeah, it's the easy way out...

Or maybe respond with something like, "That moment when you realize you thought you had a real friend then realize they judge a decision you made to better and prolong your life...CRUSHED."

But I'm really surprised by all the pro wls comments it provoked. I feel really supported. LOVE it.

We can't be all things to all people. We have to go our own "journey" and make decisions on our own.....and really it is none of her business

Knowledge is understanding. If you care to continue your relationship with this person maybe you could/should educate him/her on the hardships you would have been facing without taking such a drastic step. Point out all the things you learned about the benefits of WLS. Share your triumphs, things like not having to take certain meds. anymore, not being judged or other things that have happened to you that have enriched your life. If this person looked up to you as the post suggests maybe a simple explanation is all that's needed. May because you didn't have a one on one conversation about it there are hurt feelings. We all knew going in that not everyone was going to be a fan. Those that know I had my surgery were told about it by me with the understanding that I was telling them because I needed and wanted their support. Good Luck

Oh lordy. I would reply privately to her.

Something along the lines of....

'With regards to my surgery, and I am sure its me to which you were referring, I felt I didn't want to tell the world about it just yet. The limited few that do know, have by in large respected that privacy.

With all due respect, my surgery is a private matter, one of which I wanted to tell people in my own good time. I am disappointed that you feel because I've had surgery, that I am now no longer worthy of 'being looked up to'. In consideration of this point, I would like you to know that I had recently presented with a number of serious health problems of which long term and had I not taken action, would have developed into significantly debilitating issues. Subsequently and on the recommendation of my medical team, i took the very difficult decision to undergo a serious operation to increase my long term health prospects.

I don't expect you to understand this predicament, as its easy to make assumptions about weight loss surgery. However and as my friend, I had hoped you would have extended the courtesy to talk to me about it first, before posting something which has fundamentally hurt me.

Given the decision I had to make and the surgical procedure and diet I now have to endure, this has in no way been easy and your comment left me and my efforts, undermined. I am saddened by this.

I hope this clarifies my position for you and if there's anything you'd like to discuss further, please feel free to contact me directly.'

Or, if you don't really care, you could just reply with:

BITE ME!!!!

This was my actual response:

"As a wls patient myself, I can tell you it's not an easy lifestyle- well, maybe not the way I chose to live. There are a lot of wls patients walking around fat bc they don't change. I measure/ weigh every piece of food that goes into my body. I eat a very restricted diet I workout everyday- sometimes up to 3 hours a day... Surgery is just a tool. Don't be too crushed. It's about becoming healthy to hopefully have a healthy family one day.

"

And others posted some really amazing comments after me. I was just thrilled.

@@Madam Reverie perhaps BITE ME would've been better. LOL

Like I said, I never posted anything on FB about surgery so I was SUPER nervous!!! But too hurt not to say anything.

lol absolutely. Depends on whether your 'give-a-shitometer' is broken or not

I want a give-a-shitometer. Do they come in hot pink? I bet if we marketed those they would be a big hit.

Sorry, mrs. r, didn't mean to go off topic, but that was really too good to resist.

I want a give-a-shitometer. Do they come in hot pink? I bet if we marketed those they would be a big hit.

Sorry, mrs. r, didn't mean to go off topic, but that was really too good to resist.

It fades from brown to yellow. Haha

I want a give-a-shitometer. Do they come in hot pink?

Bahahahahahaha!

Ya know, seems to me, given that this chick chose to put something like this out there on fb, that it's really not about her getting disappointed. It would be more about her having an oppotunity to make a public dig at you. If she was really disappointed she should have discussed it with you privately. So imo she has just made herself look like an ass. Your reply to her was beautiful. If it were me, I would now pretend she no longer exists. Who needs friends like that?

Smh. Can't tolerate catty girls

My give-a-damn meter sees things like that as a someone trying to accidentally-on-purpose put you on public blast...

My response would've started with "b-tch please"....

Well I applaud you for your mature response, I find my inner bitch agreeing with "Bitch Please" and "Bite Me!", I mean really!

Mrs. RRn, you are a class act!! Way to think about your situation with patience & wisdom before responding! There is so much fear and ignorance out there. We are much better off if we educate folks and give them a chance to understand. I used to think wls was cheating, too. When one of my friends at work had great success with the vsg, I started to do my own research and realized that it was an amazing opportunity for me to succeed where I'd failed for so long. We were all ignorant once upon a time!