I wonder how many of us have kept this a secret from others and how that works. I am struggling between not telling anyone but my mom and husband, and telling everyone in hopes of perhaps helping someone who needs help or inspiration.

I told tonnes of people, and like some of the people on this site, have regretted it. I have a gorgeous hubby is 110% supportive and he came into the picture post op. Everyone in this tiny town knows...I have been told...."I took the easy way out!"....well you try shelling out $15000 and see how easy it was! lol. None the less 125 lbs is worth it! My sweetie found out by googling my name! I hadn 't told him about the weight loss because we had just started to see each other. I had been in a triathalon and the newspaper had interviewed me about the weight loss and the article was online. He kissed me and said he was proud of me....the ONLY person that ever did...I have been with him everyday since! Sappy eh? He's my awesome love.

POPT

Tracey

when i get mine done, only my parents and possibly my siblings will know. no cousins, friends, etc. i'm not even gonna my tell boyfriend. people around here talk too much and are too judgemental.

I really struggled with telling people. I am having my surgery mid April 2007, and am having it done in conjunction with another surgery. I could have hid the lap band in the other surgery very easy!!

I made the decision to tell people. I feel like secrets have a way of getting out and then people wonder why I didn't say anything, what did I have to hide. There are enough people in my life that if they had to hear it, I would want them to hear it from me, not from gossip. It was definatly easier to tell as time as gone on. There are still some people that I need to tell, but I am very glad that I chose to tell, I was and am very surprised by the support people have given me.

Jane

What great replies! I have a few questions. Two of you have said you had other surgery, one was hiatal hernia. I am wondering first of all if they can do the hiatal hernia surgery along with the lap band and if not, how much in advance do they do that before the lapband? I may need that done myself.

Also, If the doctor would do a tubal ligation (have 6 kids) during the lapband I would really like that... otherwise we are going to go with hubby having a vasectomy.... but I was just thinking, if it can be done at the same time, why not just do that?

Does anyone know?

THANK YOU!

I am scheduled for surgery in 2 weeks -- I have told my immediate family and 3 close friends. I am having the battle as well -- do I tell, or not?

Everyone has the misconception that it is the easy way out --that just is not true!

I tell everyone about my band. The only person I haven't told is my dad. He lives in a different state and I want him to be surprised. By the time I see him next, I am hoping to have lost a considerable amount of weight.

Surprise Dad! lol

I told a few people outside of family and have decided to tell most people that ask me about my weight loss (when it is finally recognizable). I struggle a little with it because there are people I don't want to know. But in general I feel very strongly not to tell people I was able to lose this weight on my own because I cannot take credit for that suddenly when I was unsuccessful for so many years. I just can't bring myself to say I'm doing a diet successfully when I've never been able to. The band leaves me no choice with so many situations which is why I'm (slowly) losing weight.

I have willingly told alot of people, Except my grandma, I want to suprise her when I see her. The thing that I haven't told many people is WHERE I had it done... People can be so judgementalI've heard people say" IN MEXICO!!! thats where all the Dr.s That lose there license here(in USA) go to practice...Butchers" yadda yadda... Dr. Gonzales (inT.J.) was FANTASTIC!!! I would do it all over again -IN MEXICO! as a matter of fact, when it is time for my tummy tuck, I am going to get it done there too!!!I saved over 15,000 by going to a great Dr. Down there!! WOO HOO

Hi: I was so thrilled at my decision to have a band, I told my sister. And her reaction shocked me. She cut off all contact with me, won't answer her e mail or her telephone. Told me I was taking the easy way out which we all know isn't the easiest but the last resort. So I say to all that you think carefully who you tell, for it may come back and bite you. Doddie

I work at the hospital where I had the surgery done, in fact I work in the OR so it would have been very hard to keep a secret with my name and surgery type up on the board! I don't care who knows. Though we all know the truth about how "easy" it is (ha) I just tell people so what if they say I am doing it the "easy" way. What's so bad about that? Why would I want to do it the hard way that has not worked for me time and again?

Hi: I was so thrilled at my decision to have a band, I told my sister. And her reaction shocked me. She cut off all contact with me, won't answer her e mail or her telephone. Told me I was taking the easy way out which we all know isn't the easiest but the last resort. So I say to all that you think carefully who you tell, for it may come back and bite you. Doddie

WOW that is a drastic reaction. How horrible. You know, I lost my sister last year to lung cancer. Every single day I cry and miss her so so much. It just crushes me to see things like this -- you still have your sister but she is acting awful toward you. People taking life for granted, you know. One of the reasons why I made the decision to get this surgery is that I know my sister worried about me and would have been supportive of me doing this. I don't want to take my health or my life for granted and I want to be here for my kids as they grow up. Doddie, I am so sorry she has treated you like this. I need a sister. You can be my sister anytime!!!!!!!

:bolt: HUGS!!

I have told my mom and I was surprised at how excited and supportive she was, is. I just hope that she doesn't tell everyone because I am not prepared for that, at least not yet. I do not want to tell my inlaws. They have never liked me anyway and I don't need them to have any more reason to judge me. So, we will see how that works out. I never imagined that sometimes people are really *mad* at a person for this, or really THAT judgemental... Wow. Something to really think about, that's for sure. Thank you all for the input!!!

My intention was to only tell my immediate family - but before long, I was telling more and more people.

I have three daughters - 15, 19 and 22. My two youngest are very happy for me - but my eldest. Wow. She is very angry with me. I am stunned.

Hi fluffy: thanks you can be my sister bandster. I would like that very much. My brother is in hospital on the final stages of cancer so I have total empathy for what you went through. I know your sister would want you to be healthy and not go thru what she did. My sister is the last of my family. All have gone now so it hurts. I sent her an Easter Card with a message, hopefully, she will respond.

Alex: I know how you are hurting at the eldest's reaction to your banding. Is there any way to get thru to her and find out why she is so hostile? May be she needs some counselling? Doddie

WOW...I am struggling really badly with this right now...I have told 4 close friends (three of them passed it on to their husbands even though I didn't want them to....I feel like it is my secret to tell), my sister, my biological mother, my 2nd stepmom, and my sister in law. One friend (also very overweight) thinks I'm crazy for "giving up food", and my sister in law (105 lbs. and always struggles to gain weight) says that I just don't need it because there is absolutely nothing wrong with me the way I am, but everyone else so far is VERY supportive. I haven't told my father, 1st stepmom (one who raised me from age 3-19), brother, inlaws, or anyone else. I'm am scared to tell my father because I am afraid he is going to freak about the money we are spending on something "I should be able to do on my own". He is my next door neighbor and very much a part of our lives, so I assume he will eventually find out...not looking forward to that day. We never disagree on anything except MONEY, so you see why this is a problem for me. I haven't told my first stepmom because when I mentioned it to her 2 years ago, she BEGGED me not to do it. She is only concerned for my health...she thinks a foreign band in my body absolutely cannot be healthy for me. We are very close, but she lives 500 miles away from me. I thought it would be easy to keep from her for awhile until she called and said she is coming to see me on the 23rd. I meet my surgeon (in a different city) on the 24th and my liquid diet starts the 25th. There is no way now that I can keep it from her and I won't even consider changing my surgery date (took waaaay to long to get it in the first place!) At my phsyc eval, the doc told me that I need to tell her anyway, so I just have to in the next few days....not looking forward to that either. As far as everyone else, they will probably know eventually, but I feel no need to rush.

I'm sorry this is so long. I feel better just telling someone about it.

thanks,

Courtney