WLS = making bad decisions?

[ualaw08 270]

Hello everyone!

Now that I am officially sleeved, I have some concerns that I would like to share and seek advice. I know a few people ( my sister included) who, after WLS, began a downward spiral of making bad decisions. They turned their food addictions to alcohol. They began to party excessively. Their personality changed for the worse. They have basically become just different people ( for the worse).

I am so worried about "smelling" myself a little too much and will begin to act differently. I have been small before. I have been on the party scene before and I am hoping that that is out of my system and I won't feel the need to reclaim my youth.

But I guess my question is, have any of you been told that you have changed ( for the worse) or know someone who has after WLS? Is this a concern I am just making up in my head?

[macman 603]

Hello

You will probably hear this from many people on this board, WLS is a tool to help with managing your weight. it is only one piece of the puzzle, albeit a big one. I think you have to address the whole person because problems or issues in an individual that contributed to the pre weight loss situations will still be there. Anxieties or addictions that contributed to an individual's current situation will only be a barrier to success if not addressed as part of the preperation for surgery..

A psych eval was part of my scheduled pre work, and I think should be part of every individuals decision logic to get this surgery. Getting a handle on my issues with food before the surgery can only help me later.

[2Big2Skate 328]

After WLS, booze is different. Your metabolism is obviously much different and alcohol hits you different. My buddy's mom had bypass and her "wine with dinner" turned into full bore alcoholism in seemingly no time at all.

For me, I made the decision to become a tea totaler. I always enjoyed the flavors and feeling of a fine adult beverage. But with this new stomach, I really dont see much benefit there to outweigh the risk.

[woo woo 872]

This is most definitely a thing and you are right to be aware/concerned about the possibility.

Especially if you have had any kind of "issue" or blip specifically in your own past.

I also like the idea of avoiding alcohol (etc) altogether after surgery if you have any inkling that it could be a problem for you.

Good luck to you!!

[gmanbat 5,889]

WLS grants one a relatively rapid acquisition of power. Improved health, strength, attractiveness, all expose the nature of your character. It is similar to winning the lottery, ...what are you going to with all of this new freedom?

During my descent from mount obesity I had to consider who and what I really am. All of the identity factors afforded by my fat had to be dumped....no more hiding, no excuses for inactivity, no more feeling unattractive. My body took the back seat, my liberated personality took over. I had to decide what I wanted to be.

Lottery winners are notorious for destroying themselves. Too much power and freedom from the stress that defines them leaves them without direction. Now they have the means to drown themselves. The ones that survive have a sense of self that allows them to fight off the excesses...they do what they think is right to do and save themselves from the pitfalls in the realm of what they could do.

I suggest you take your reducing time to discover the inner you. Find peace with yourself, make friends with yourself. Liking yourself is the key to many treasure rooms. If you learn to like yourself you will find that others will join you in the feeling.

[ualaw08 270]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts on this. I am feeling pretty confident that I will not change. I have actually spent the last three years of my life learning to love myself for who I am in and getting to know the inner me. I saw how WLS changed my sister and I was determined not to turn out that way even before I considered WLS. I wanted to love myself fat or not. And I do. Someone posted a thread about the "girl in the back of the room." Well that's not me. I actually know how to work a room even at 267 pounds. I will always keep though in the back of my mind the travesties of I am witnesses and try to stay the same person. Just a healthy, smaller and smarter one.

[roundisashape 712]

I DO know people who changed for the worse, one of my closest friends included - it's taken years for her to become "her" again. It's why I cringe when I see posts from people whose relationships are changing, who seem to put all the blame on the people around them without reflecting on what they might be doing differently too.

It's something that worries me a lot as well, as someone who hasn't ever been thin and tended to "sit out" a lot of things I should have experienced by now. That said, I do think that you and I have the advantage of self-awareness. Just acknowledging that we're at risk of getting out of control or becoming someone we might not like very much is half the battle!

[LouiseC 1,029]

There isn't doubt that I have changed since my surgery. Some people may tell you I have changed for the worse. Others, myself included, will say I have changed for the better.

I am certainly more confident, and I have become less tolerant of being treated poorly. I have had to readjust some friendships and relationships along they way as I realised how some were not that good for me. Those people may well say that my WLS changed me for the worse. I know that I am now more authentic, honest and true to myself.

It is hard to measure our own behaviour by other people's expectations. All we can do is be honest with ourselves.

As for the alcohol, we are all different. I drink alcohol, I regularly have a glass of wine with dinner. I occasionally over indulge (the last two weeks have been particularly over indulgent!) but I do not see any difference with tolerating alcohol post sleeve. Certainly this was the case when I first had a drink about eight weeks after surgery but over time this normalised and it is no different for me now. I just factor it in like any other calorie that I have to burn.

I know there are all sorts of stories about cross addiction with food to alcohol post WLS. Certainly there is some evidence to indicate a risk for individuals with addictive type personality ,family history of addiction and so on. Remember of course that the plural of 'anecdote' is not 'data'. There are definitely stories, trends, and indications but little in the way of double blind randomized controlled trials on addiction transfer post bariatric surgery.

I do not consider I had a food addiction prior to WLS. If you consider you do, then it may well be wise to avoid alcohol post surgery. Only you will know what is right for you here as only you will truly be able identify whether you have addiction.