I'M having a tough time this morning and just need to vent. I had a full tummy tuck December 2, one day after my mom died. I still think it was the right decision to go ahead with the surgery, I was at the family only burial 3 days later and we are having her memorial service in the spring. Re her death, it was a good one. The last year, last months, last week, and last days were not how you would wish anyone to have to live. My sister and I were with her almost 100% of the last two weeks. I left for home Saturday night in order to get prepared for surgery that Monday. I got home at 130am and got the call to come back at 230, so my husband and I drove back 3+ hours each way. I spent the day with my family, making arrangements, grieving, talking, ect then drove home in time to start prepping for the next morning. Now fast forward 3 weeks. I'm healing well from the surgery, on the phone regularly with dad, sister, and brother, but here at home I'm married to a fedex delivery man and have 2 adult sons still living at home and at that mid twenty work hard/play hard time of life. My daughter lives nearby, is a medical resident who works 90 hours a week and it 37 weeks pregnant(!). So you get the idea. Support, while it looks available, isn't there. I've followed all the post op restrictions, but it is getting harder and harder to get any support from family. Screw the 10 pound lift restriction, I just won't lift! But Christmas is almost here, and I'm feeling like part of me wants to move ahead in some sense of normalcy, to help me cope with grieving. Yet I can't, and don't, want to do it all. I have gifts but don't want to wrap them. It is just more than I feel up to. I have stocking stuff, but don't want to wrap and stuff them. Quite frankly, I just want to make flipping piles and say merry Christmas. I don't want to cook a big dinner. I don't want to make baked Alaska for desert. I just don't want to. My family is expecting it all. I'm tired and I'm grieving. There is no answer but to just keep moving forward. Sorry this is so long, but I'm missing my mom this morning, and it is coming to a head. Thanks for letting me vent!

Hi farm girl. My condolences on the loss of your mother.

I must say I get some of this. My mom died 7 years ago from cancer. We were going to bring her to my home under hospice care, but the night before she was to come home she passed. That was hard.

I too am an avid runner now and I just had my TT 11 weeks ago. The running is like my church. It soothes my soul the way nothing else can. The restrictions after the TT are the absolute worst thing about it because you cannot release those tensions and frustrations. Add to it the passing of your mother....I cannot imagine how hard that is. I haven't known anyone who didn't just go berserk during that down time....especially fitness oriented people.

I do however know how weird it is to not have to wash under your belly anymore. After almost 3 months I'm still trying to wash under it.....but it's not there.

The good news is...in a few weeks you'll be able to return to running, and it will come back to you quicker than you realize. I thought I was going to lose every bit of my fitness, but surprisingly that didn't happen. After just 4 weeks back to running I'm already feeling like my old self. Running a half marathon tomorrow in fact.

I hope you feel that way again soon.

I suggest you stop. My mom passed away nearly 18 months ago after a rapid progression of Oat Cell Carcinoma, an inoperable, incurable, super-aggressive type of lung cancer reserved primarily for smokers. Even these months later and with small children at home, I'm more Bah Humbug than Merry Christmas. It's very difficult losing your mom. We've had holiday takeout for two seasons now, and this year is no different. Take time to heal and grieve, and let others take care of you, or at the very least, themselves.

Farm girl my heart feels your sadness.. My Mom passed on Dec 8th and it did make for a Rough Holiday that year! Please focus on yourself and reach out to others that are missing her and can help u with everything.... It is your time ... And u worked hard to be were your at! So envious of you.. Your Mom is with you everyday .. Just listen for her .... Hugs

I couldn't read it all, but sounds like it could be normal depression. talk to one of your docs, re meds and some therapy around the fact that you are not getting your needs met by your family might be appropriate...

Hi all, I'm feeling much better today. I've done some simple things like decide to not make the greens for the table. Just putting away the cups, floral foam, and scratch collecting greens off the to do list helped a lot! I've made the executive decision to make a turkey early on Xmas eve, that way the men in the house can A. Lift it! and B. Eat their own dinner and finally C. I can take some down to my daughter. She, being 38 weeks pregnant has been given 12 hour call on both Xmas eve and Xmas day (not sure they thought that one through) and her husband has decided to go to him families traditional Xmas eve party 2 hours away. I said no way to her coming home to an empty house even if all she's doing is eating and going to sleep, so I'm spending the night there for support and just in case someone decides to be a Christmas baby! Feeling much more relaxed today. I'm trying to decide if I'm up to 7 hours in the car tomorrow to go have some face time with Dad, something that would heal us both! Just not sure I'm up to it, and I know there is no way to talk anyone into driving me! I know he'd understand, and be upset if I jeopardize my health, but he's also 97 and grieving as well. I wish we had transporters!

Farmgirl,

Hope you had a good Christmas and hoping that you have a wonderful new year in 2014.