There are some things I know for sure:

Death, taxes, aging, puberty, seasonal changes, time passes, scientific advancement, sperm and egg starting point, man cannot live without Water, everybody poops, can't lick your elbow, there is always someone better off then you, everyone has an opinion, sun always sets in the west, full moon once a month, clowns are creepy, the 80's fashions should die, shivery is not dead, and Elvis has indeed left the building!!!!!!!

There are things I don't know for sure:

Are children here to test our sanity, why can't we all get along, why doesn't turnip make you fat, is love really all we need, is laughter the best medicine, what really is the root of all evil, will time actually heal all wounds, is there love at first sight, do we live and learn, why do we always end up in the slowest check out line, why does dropped toast always land face side down, why does Murphy's law always happen to me, do we ever really know all there is to know about the ones we love, and where will I be in 5 years....

I bring these up because I think that the hardest one of all is will I ever get my head under control. Will I ever truly succeed in my desire to be the person I am inside of this body. I wonder if I will ever be able to relax and say to myself ..You got this girl!!! I find that with everything I think I know and everything I don't..i find the hardest thing to explain is why I allowed my self to punish me for shit that happens.....

There will always be so much work to do through the joys of getting better, finding myself and learning to live with who I am on the inside....

I really truly want this to be the answer for me and everyone else that has taken the difficult plunge of WLS.....

Just thinking hard this morning on my faults and kinda sad that I have so far to go and may never reach a conclusion.....

That's really deep for an early Wednesday morning! (It's early where I am at least.) :-)

I have been thinking similar thoughts to this lately - am I ever going to be able to accept myself - not just the physical me, but the entire me? Will I ever be at peace - or will there always be this nagging "you're not good enough"syndrome I have?

OK - I'm going to go have a cup of coffee and ponder the meaning of life! It's decaf, so it's going to suck - maybe that's not a great way to start!

Have a great day, RJ!

right there with ya! No coffee here because decaf and skim with splenda is so fake and gross I don't even try to fool myself!

I'm drinking a cup of caffeinated coffee right now. You guys don't?

RJ... You're gorgeous, you're intelligent and a lovely person. These things we all know for sure. You will find your conclusion in this chaos right now. We are all getting through this together.

*big warm hugs*

I'm drinking a cup of caffeinated coffee right now. You guys don't?

RJ... You're gorgeous, you're intelligent and a lovely person. These things we all know for sure. You will find your conclusion in this chaos right now. We are all getting through this together.

*big warm hugs*

Not much of a hugger..But right now I would take that hug and squeeze right back....I just finished a huge cup of tea...I asked my nut about drinking the real thing and she said, "don't sweat it..it is part of who you are"..I said, "Cookies are too" and she said, "don't push it sweetheart"..Can't say I didn't try eh!!!

Edited December 18, 201312 yr by RJ'S/beginning

I'm drinking a cup of caffeinated coffee right now. You guys don't?

RJ... You're gorgeous, you're intelligent and a lovely person. These things we all know for sure. You will find your conclusion in this chaos right now. We are all getting through this together.

*big warm hugs*

I was sleeved 11/14 so I'm almost 5 weeks out... Doc hasn't cleared me for real coffee yet - I will ask on my next follow up on 12/30. All docs are different just like they are with their pre-ops. My local doc is very conservative...My surgeon was the polar opposite - he was like, "Introduce real food as soon as you can!"

I have decided if I'm going to have decaf, that I will allow myself some honey in it...I put a couple of tablespoons of fat-free cream or coconut creamer, 1 teaspoon of honey and a little splenda (not even a whole packet). It's pretty good.

I'm drinking a cup of caffeinated coffee right now. You guys don't?

RJ... You're gorgeous, you're intelligent and a lovely person. These things we all know for sure. You will find your conclusion in this chaos right now. We are all getting through this together.

*big warm hugs*

I was sleeved 11/14 so I'm almost 5 weeks out... Doc hasn't cleared me for real coffee yet - I will ask on my next follow up on 12/30. All docs are different just like they are with their pre-ops. My local doc is very conservative...My surgeon was the polar opposite - he was like, "Introduce real food as soon as you can!"

I have decided if I'm going to have decaf, that I will allow myself some honey in it...I put a couple of tablespoons of fat-free cream or coconut creamer, 1 teaspoon of honey and a little splenda (not even a whole packet). It's pretty good.

Real food is so important! I cook Paleo whenever possible with as little ingredients as I can.

I am about 13-14 weeks out now and have been drinking real coffee for about a month and a half now. It keeps things... uhhh... 'moving' inside and I like the caffeine boost. Plus I heard coffee (in moderation) was healthy for you so I only drink 1 cup in the morning.

Lordy! Deep thoughts for a hump day!

As I sit here taking in my 2nd cup of real coffee and drinking my chocolate Peanut Butter (and espresso spiked) Protein shake I can't help but wonder of those are just not normal thoughts by normal people everyday?

The last couple days have been terrible for me. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't have simple carbs and sugars till the end of the year. Day before yesterday, I had a piece of cashew, dark chocolate topped peanut brittle.

Thats all she wrote….things went to hell in a hand basket fast! Have been beating myself up one side and down the other since as I stuffed my face with the poison. I finally, yesterday afternoon took it out to the trash can out side and then beat myself up some for having to take that step. I was damned if I kept it and damned if I tossed it. Either way, I lose.

After reading your post, it made me realize that we do this in more aspects of our lives than just as it relates to our weight loss journey. Maybe we have just conditioned ourselves to be our own worst enemy and critic? Yes?

Whoever said this journey is every bit as much mental and emotional is absolutely correct. As most of us know, the actual part of losing the weight is not as hard as keeping it off. Keeping it off is where the head comes into play. If we don't fix that we will never succeed. We have heard them all, "We have to keep our head in the game", "We have to deal with what's eating us", We have to……the list goes on and on. Perhaps we need to redefine "success."

We are constantly evolving and growing and changing and taking steps forward and backward and this and that…..

Maybe the best gift we can give ourselves this Holiday season is try and see truly how far we have come and try not to look at how far we need to go. When we look at how far we need to go, the finish line is never in sight.

Interesting topic, RJ. You really have expressed what I have been feeling the last few days. This should be a time of joy and gratitude and I have found myself blue and self loathing. I thought for sure I had this and the holidays would be a piece of cake. Not so much.

Will I ever "have it"? Probably not. Will I ever give up striving to "have it"? I can only pray not.

I do think today though, I am going to skip the gym and go outside in the beautiful sunshine and garden. It makes me happy.

Just for today, I'm not going to work on my physical body. I'm going to work on my heart and my head.

Thanks RJ, for helping me make the best decision that I can make for me as a person today.

I wish the same for you. ((((big hugs)))) I'm a hugger!

Edited December 18, 201312 yr by newat52

I took your hug as well..Thanks! I can't go out and enjoy the day as we are having a snow storm...2 I dislocated 3 ribs and the are working to put them back in..So I have no choice but to rest and whine on here....

I am so glad that I could help a little..We are not so far apart in our worlds when it comes to the complex parts of this journey....

Besides of course weather...It is cold here!!!!!!!!!!!

Lordy! Deep thoughts for a hump day!

As I sit here taking in my 2nd cup of real coffee and drinking my chocolate Peanut Butter (and espresso spiked) Protein shake I can't help but wonder of those are just not normal thoughts by normal people everyday?

The last couple days have been terrible for me. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't have simple carbs and sugars till the end of the year. Day before yesterday, I had a piece of cashew, dark chocolate topped peanut brittle.

Thats all she wrote….things went to hell in a hand basket fast! Have been beating myself up one side and down the other since as I stuffed my face with the poison. I finally, yesterday afternoon took it out to the trash can out side and then beat myself up some for having to take that step. I was damned if I kept it and damned if I tossed it. Either way, I lose.

After reading your post, it made me realize that we do this in more aspects of our lives than just as it relates to our weight loss journey. Maybe we have just conditioned ourselves to be our own worst enemy and critic? Yes?

Whoever said this journey is every bit as much mental and emotional is absolutely correct. As most of us know, the actual part of losing the weight is not as hard as keeping it off. Keeping it off is where the head comes into play. If we don't fix that we will never succeed. We have heard them all, "We have to keep our head in the game", "We have to deal with what's eating us", We have to……the list goes on and on. Perhaps we need to redefine "success."

We are constantly evolving and growing and changing and taking steps forward and backward and this and that…..

Maybe the best gift we can give ourselves this Holiday season is try and see truly how far we have come and try not to look at how far we need to go. When we look at how far we need to go, the finish line is never in sight.

Interesting topic, RJ. You really have expressed what I have been feeling the last few days. This should be a time of joy and gratitude and I have found myself blue and self loathing. I thought for sure I had this and the holidays would be a piece of cake. Not so much.

Will I ever "have it"? Probably not. Will I ever give up striving to "have it"? I can only pray not.

I do think today though, I am going to skip the gym and go outside in the beautiful sunshine and garden. It makes me happy.

Just for today, I'm not going to work on my physical body. I'm going to work on my heart and my head.

Thanks RJ, for helping me make the best decision that I can make for me as a person today.

I wish the same for you. ((((big hugs)))) I'm a hugger!

Indeed such deep thoughts.

So, you know puberty? I have a daughter embarking on this journey right now, so I am learning that I know nothing. Isn't it amazing how, in our children's eyes, the older we get, the dumber we are. I suppose, to a point, that is true. But anyhew, the topic.

Like most things in life, there is no finish line. It is about the journey.

Just when I think I have something under control, if I leave myself teachable, I learn something else. I think that is the key for me right there.

Being teachable.

If I believe like I "Got this", then I lose my ability to learn something else. Worse yet, I begin to tell everybody else how to do it, no matter what it is, which takes me and my ego down a dark path.

So, I try to enjoy the journey and leave myself open to being teachable.

Glad you got my hug. We still have drifts as high as 2 feet in some parts our yard from an ice storm 2 weeks ago. Its going to be 70 here today and by Saturday back to arctic temps!

This is Texas, the weather changes as fast as a text exchange between teen girls!

Going to enjoy the weather while I can!

Feel better, I'm following you saga posts.

Indeed such deep thoughts.

So, you know puberty? I have a daughter embarking on this journey right now, so I am learning that I know nothing. Isn't it amazing how, in our children's eyes, the older we get, the dumber we are. I suppose, to a point, that is true. But anyhew, the topic.

Like most things in life, there is no finish line. It is about the journey.

Just when I think I have something under control, if I leave myself teachable, I learn something else. I think that is the key for me right there.

Being teachable.

If I believe like I "Got this", then I lose my ability to learn something else. Worse yet, I begin to tell everybody else how to do it, no matter what it is, which takes me and my ego down a dark path.

So, I try to enjoy the journey and leave myself open to being teachable.

Hope your not implying that I am trying to tell everyone how to do this journey...I do not stand up as any example in anything......this is one of the hardest things I have ever done and will always be with me until I breath my last breath...But today I am in pain and we have a snow storm so I was just thinking, and I wrote it all down...

The longer I am on this journey the less I know I know..It is scary, really scary...Opening myself up to learn! Love that point!

Raised 2 children..One is 34, mother of 1 and my son is a sheriff....My daughter has thanked me for raising her and not leaving her on the side of the road...My son however..never mind that's a different story...50% ain't that bad is it..It's a pass really!!!

Oh no, I am not implying that at all. I love your shares. I'm talking about myself.

Oh no, I am not implying that at all. I love your shares. I'm talking about myself.

Okay I am breathing again......

Oh no, I am not implying that at all. I love your shares. I'm talking about myself.

ALL about you PdxMan! LOL!

If you don't have us to give you a hard time, who will?