Well everyone... I'm sure that everyone goes through this.. But I am the first to have surgery this morning... It's 1:15am and I have to be there at 5:45am... All I can think is am I doing the right thing? What if something goes wrong? Am I the only one tossing and turning before they go under?

I had my surgery on 1/09/2013 and was experiencing the same thoughts. That was 10 medications and 130 pounds ago. The surgery went fine and all I had to do was sleep through the surgery. Now I have the energy to chase my grand daughters around and actually catch them. Run up stairs instead of gasping for air at the top of them. Blood pressure fine, cholesterol fine. I am sure you are doing this for all the right reasons. Just remember you are not the first one down this road. I will be waiting to read your update out here in a few days.

Well everyone... I'm sure that everyone goes through this.. But I am the first to have surgery this morning... It's 1:15am and I have to be there at 5:45am... All I can think is am I doing the right thing? What if something goes wrong? Am I the only one tossing and turning before they go under?

You are going to be fine. I always find myself with anxiety before anything major. Good luck with everything today and I look forward to seeing you progress

Well everyone... I'm sure that everyone goes through this.. But I am the first to have surgery this morning... It's 1:15am and I have to be there at 5:45am... All I can think is am I doing the right thing? What if something goes wrong? Am I the only one tossing and turning before they go under?

Good luck! Your gonna do fantastic!

Good luck! I thought the same thing. You will do great.

Congratulations! Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Wishing you a speedy recovery!1

WARNING.. Long read... But I feel I have to write this....

I have debated on posting this.. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to admit about myself. That everything I wanted is falling apart.. And I feel like such a failure. I started this process with a goal! Be that patient that is a rock star! Walk when I should. Drink when I should... Eat the exactly right thing at the right time... Take super good care of myself.. My fiancé would be the one who was by my side the entire time... And It wouldn't hurt that much.

In the beginning Everything was going according to plan. It was a really rough first day... But the second was so much better! And the third!! A breeze. No one in the hospital could believe how well I was doing. The Bariatric team all made special trips just to say hi! Everyone was so happy. Assuring me I was gonna rock this recovery.

While in the hospital.. My fiancé was there for maybe a few hours two of the three days.. And wouldn't come near me... Wouldn't even look at me. This just broke me. But I pushed through. When I came home... Our room was so dirty my mother wouldn't even let me stay in it out of fear of infection. No bother. I slept int the recliner anyways (which let me tell you... A godsend!) and he said he was "very sick and didn't want to get me sick" so he went to stay at his parents. Still raw from everything... In tons of pain... And feeling so alone... I thought "fine, no big deal! My family is here and will take care of me" and god bless my little sister. That girl changed my bandages 4 times a day like clockwork. Never complaining how gross my JP drain was... Or how needy I was. She made sure I got my fluids in. And I am so lucky for her.

But I kept thinking..."he should be here!" "He should be the one doing this!" If he loved me so much... How could he be like this? So I went on with a broken heart.

My family didn't Celebrate Christmas this year... My other sister is down in Texas and they said no celebrating without everyone... Which I was honestly fine with... It's not about the presents right? It's about the joy of the season. It's about family. Except for the fact that all my mother did was cry.

The Friday after Christmas everyone but my sister left for vacation in Florida. You see my mother couldn't take the day of my surgery off because she had to save her PTO for vacation. (That's also why she didn't come to a single doctors appointment or seminar before the surgery). Priorities right? So my sister and I were alone for what seemed like forever.

To make it even better I started getting so ill. My wound hurt. The stitches on that pert ocular site looked wrong. Very tight and too big. There should have been three small instead of two big ones that were strained. To top it off I had a terrible fever... And I couldn't keep anything down. I broke down and let my fiancé come home. That night I woke up on the living room floor. Severe pain in my surgical site and sweating bullets. They took my temp which was 100.1

They called my doctor and he confirmed it defiantly sounded like an infection. We were pulled in first thing that morning to see the surgeon. He walked in and treated me like an inconvenience. He began telling me all about how he had just treated a woman who thought hers was infected... And of course it wasn't. And he was sure it's fine... He pulled off my warping and took one look at it. His eyes got a little wider and his voice more serious.

"Haven't had one of these in a while. Very rarely actually" he said in a very nonchalant manner. Great just what I need to hear! He told me that the wound had to be packed (sorry for the gross detail) it was so painful. I asked for my someone to get my sister. Since she changed my bandages and there would be no way for me to do it myself if I can't see. He blew me off and just went for it.

He just started stuffing gauze in with a long Q-Tip almost 6 inches deep. Of course big chested ladies understand that it's hard to see over the Tatas so I couldn't see what he was doing. He told me no antibiotics that the surgeon on call ordered for me the night before. I was in so much pain I just ignored his obvious indifference and left.

The next morning we had to change it. My sister had no clue how to pack it.. And I was the blind leading the blind. We dressed it the best we could and called the center. No one answered. The answering service wasn't even connecting. And then I fainted again. Amy sister called the hospital three times. Only to get ignored and forwarded to the nonfunctional answering service. Out of options we called the nurse in ER. They were very concerned with my temp and getting the wound packed and that the doctor didn't show is how. She told us that because it was a weekend I couldn't wait the two days for the practice to be open and to come in. She was so nice and told is to get to the Er and they would show us.

I got there... And upon being wheeled into the entrance immediately got sick. Needless to say the receptionist and I didn't hit it off. I feel pretty bad about her desk :/

I saw two doctors who both looked at my bandages and looked very concerned. They pumped me up on IV fluids and antibiotics immediately. I told them 4 times I am allergic to penicillin. The nurse starts to hook up this bag when a woman in a white lab coat runs into the room. She grabs the bag out of the nurses hand and pulls him just outside of my door. "She's allergic to penicillin. That cod have been really bad. Throw the bag out and credit her account. I'll figure out what to give her!"

Close call huh?

Honestly after the three bags of fluids I did feel better. I had been so dehydrated my skin was flaking.

They told me that my surgeon was busy and sending his intern. So in walks this woman. I had my right leg bent at the knee and tucked under the left under the blanket. She looks at me wide eyed. I had no clue you were An amputee! I swear I would have seen that In your chart. We all looked at her dumbstruck... I dryly muttered... "I'm not?!" She stared feeling the blanket over the empty bed below my leg looking for the rest of my leg asking " where is it?" I just looked at her and unfolded it.

Needless to say not a good first impression. She barely let me talk. Then proceeded to ignore me and jam Q-tips into my wound to "open it up!" I'm pretty sure it was open considering I had been through tons of gauze just while being there three hours. It hurt so bad I felt sick. She proceeded to tell me that they shouldn't have given me the antibiotic... And I basically needed to suck it up and let them jam me full of gauze three times a day for a few weeks. I was so upset I just stopped talking. After 20 minutes of condescension she told me... I'm inclined to send you home. Let me touch base with your surgeon.

So I waited. Two minutes later she throws open my door and says very loudly... "You didn't tell me you were throwing up." Like I had the chance?! I had only told every doctor and every nurse and been sick there.. Let's play a game called "WHO DIDNT REALLY READ THE CHART". She just bluntly told me... Well that could change you going home.. Let me check with the doctor.

Well she strolls by almost 30 minutes later dressed in surgical gear and nonchalantly says "you can go! They'll be in to discharge you". And leaves as fast as she came.

An hour later I was home. I felt like I was such an inconvenience. That's not fair to a patient. I get they do stuff like this every day... But here I am scared and in pain... And infected (which is apparently rare) and all I get is lectured by a woman who can tell a leg tucked under a blanket? I'm so upset I'm afraid to even call my surgeon. I was supposed to see him 2 days later and was so traumatized and depressed I just never made the appointment. My follow up is in a few days and I don't even want to deal with him. I'm just so fed up and so tired of throwing up at least 3 times a day for a month.

I am a failure. I feel so raw. I literally feel like I'm wasting away. Not just physically... But I'm a shell of the happy person I was. I just feel so lost.

I am not writing this to discourage anyone from the surgery! I am dropping weight so fast and I m sure I will look back at all of this healthy and happy and think it was well worth it... But I'm really struggling right now. And unhappy just isn't me. I don't know what to do... Get a new doctor? Ride it out? Confront my surgeon about his bedside manner? I just don't know. ????

Edited January 15, 201412 yr by caitiegirly07

Im so sorry for all you have been through, that sounds incredibly rough! The way you were treated is absolutely shameful! Is there another doctor in that practice you could switch to? I hope things are good with you and your fiance! Please keep us posted! God bless!

Honey, you are not a failure. I am still pre surgery so I can only go by what I've done. But I had a tubal ligation 3 years ago and wound up with cellulitis so bad I was in the hospital for 3 days. It sucked majorly. But before I was admitted I was at the same hospital 2 times prior (less than 24 hours was the latest one) and at another hospital and was discharged.

I know it could never be the same as what you've gone though but I have been on the receiving end of feeling like a failure.

I hope everything gets better honey and remember, we are here for you

Good god, that's horrendous.

Do you think you should see the hospital patient liaison officer? Tell them you are considering legal action. Won't your insurance company do something for you?

Stand up to the medical staff that are treating you so nonchalantly...it's your life, fight for it.

If you were in the UK, you'd be hospitalised until they got that infection under control....and it sounds very much like neither you or your sweet sister are qualified to dress that type of wound.

I hope you get well soon...stay strong.

X

Good god, that's horrendous.

Do you think you should see the hospital patient liaison officer? Tell them you are considering legal action. Won't your insurance company do something for you?

Stand up to the medical staff that are treating you so nonchalantly...it's your life, fight for it.

If you were in the UK, you'd be hospitalised until they got that infection under control....and it sounds very much like neither you or your sweet sister are qualified to dress that type of wound.

I hope you get well soon...stay strong.

X

If they couldn't keep you hospital in the UK, they'd have a district nurse come out to you every day to dress it...don't they have something like that for you?

Wow I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this! My heart breaks for you! Was this an open surgery or laparoscopic? I may have missed that info but was just curious... I mean either way their behavior was inexcusable i was just curious. How are you doing now?

Wow I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this! My heart breaks for you! Was this an open surgery or laparoscopic? I may have missed that info but was just curious... I mean either way their behavior was inexcusable i was just curious. How are you doing now?

It was laparoscopic and it was the site on my left side where all the manipulation takes place.

Wow I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this! My heart breaks for you! Was this an open surgery or laparoscopic? I may have missed that info but was just curious... I mean either way their behavior was inexcusable i was just curious. How are you doing now?

Thanks so much! I am doing better! The wound is still open but I no longer have to pack it... Thank god! But with my luck I got a cold too. Can't catch a break. Lol

Honey, you are not a failure. I am still pre surgery so I can only go by what I've done. But I had a tubal ligation 3 years ago and wound up with cellulitis so bad I was in the hospital for 3 days. It sucked majorly. But before I was admitted I was at the same hospital 2 times prior (less than 24 hours was the latest one) and at another hospital and was discharged. <br><br> I know it could never be the same as what you've gone though but I have been on the receiving end of feeling like a failure. <br><br> I hope everything gets better honey and remember, we are here for you

Thank you so much! It helps to know someone knows where I'm coming from!