Main Entry: en·abler

Pronunciation: \i-ˈnā-blər, -bəl-ər\

Function: noun Date: 1615:

one that enables another to achieve an end ; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior

food ADDICTION

Food addiction manifests itself in the uncontrollable craving for excess food that follows the ingestion of refined carbohydrates, primarily sugar and flour substances that are quickly metabolized and turned into sugar in the bloodstream.

Due to those uncontrollable cravings, a food addict's quality of life deteriorates when he or she eats sugar, flour or wheat. It can deteriorate physically, emotionally, socially and/or spiritually.

If any of the following symptoms are familiar to you, you may be a food addict:

Physical Symptoms of Food Addiction

• Do you think you cannot control your intake of food, especially junk food or high sugar foods?

• Have you tried different diets or weight loss programs, but none has worked permanently?

• Have you found yourself vomiting, using laxatives, diuretics, or exercising a lot to avoid a weight gain after you have eaten a lot?

Many food addicts are obese and have tried numerous methods for weight control (diets, drugs, surgery, etc.) yet nothing has created a permanent solution. Other food addicts have never been obese. Their physical weight has been controlled by extreme measures such as excessive exercise, purging through vomiting or laxatives (bulimia), or the severe and unhealthy limiting of food substances(anorexia). No matter which version of food addiction fits you, all of these symptoms become more severe with time and eventually lead to physical problems that can create an early and sometimes painful death.

Emotional Symptoms of Food Addiction

• Do you find yourself feeling depressed, hopeless, sad or ashamed about your eating or your weight?

• Do you find yourself eating when you are upset or reward yourself with food when you do something good?

• Have you ever noticed after eating sugar, flour, or wheat that you become more irritable?

Food addicts notice that their emotions become more severe, intense, or unreasonable when eating the addictive substances. For many food addicts, emotional life may deteriorate into despair, depression, or thoughts of suicide.

Social Symptoms of Food Addiction

• Do you eat in private so no one will see you?

• Do you avoid social interactions because you feel you do not look good enough or do not have the proper fitting clothes to wear?

• Do you steal other people’s food?

• Are you more interested in what food is served at social gatherings than looking forward to the warmth of being with the people attending?

A food addict’s social life is affected by intense obsessive thinking about food. Making eye contact with people and taking an interest in developing friendships or intimate relationships become secondary to locating and eating addictive foods. Food addicts often hide or steal foods and eat in secret.

Laura, thanks. That's what we are doing. We have a full physical + bloodwork scheduled for Wednesday. The turnaround is tricky, because his schedule is such that he really needs this to either happen in December or over the summer. But we'll see. If they find something else, we can resubmit for review almost immediately.

I like cooking, and I am pretty good at it. I have just avoided it the last few weeks. Did I also mention that they're all picky eaters in terms of meats? LOL. Oh well. This is character building for everyone.

Glad to hear you guys are being proactive and fighting the decision of some paper pusher.

From what you wrote about your husband in the past he NEEDS this surgery. I hate to see him denied the opportunity for health..

Aw yes picky eaters.

My kids like to ask every night what's for dinner just so they can complain

To that I say screw em! I like to remind the 17 year old that not every night is about eating your favorite thing and soon (I hope) you will be on your own...have at it then! and please do call at some point to tell me how much you miss that homemade "crap" while you're living off of top ramen

Cook.. tell them to eat or starve.

Last night was leftover night. Of all the dishes I made the last couple of days. I put all the dishes on the counter and said you can have anything from this counter. But I forbid any of you to go into the fridge or cupboard to make anything else

(Yes I'm mean) they bitched but they ate

Well, he NEEDS to change his relationship with food. I'm hoping that he does qualify, if not now then eventually, and that he stops the spiral of comforting himself with food when things are rough. But that is much easier said than done.

Well, he NEEDS to change his relationship with food. I'm hoping that he does qualify, if not now then eventually, and that he stops the spiral of comforting himself with food when things are rough. But that is much easier said than done.

Yes, surgery is only one part of the equation...

An important part though.

Y'all are MEAN. I give my kids options when I cook or heat up leftovers. I want my snuggly-wugglies to feel as if they are being nurtured and cared for as only a mother could. I want their every need to be met to the best of my ability because after all, they are the fruit of my loins and I love them like no other.

When I make something they don't care for, they can eat it with the love and joy I felt as I was preparing it or they can eat a PB&J or bowl of cereal. Let's hope the bread isn't stale and the milk isn't spoiled. If it is, their last choice is to suck it.

Scared me there for a minute, LSL.

My darling youngest and I had a discussion about what he could have for breakfast. I believe that what I said was, "You can make yogurt, cereal, or eggs for yourself while I sit here and have my coffee. Or if you hang on a minute, I'll get you a big bowl of poop."

He told me that was sick and hostile (he's 11) but I didn't see any problem. I gave him CHOICES.

Sick maybe, but I think he was pushing it with the hostile.

RIght? I was perfectly cheerful and pleasant while I was saying that.

Yes, surgery is only one part of the equation... An important part though.

I felt the need to expand on this just a tad..

As we addressed before, I have a food addiction.

I knew that years before this surgery..

From years of therapy but even having this knowledge and actively seeking help. I was still fat and fighting it.

That's why I feel this surgery is an important tool.

Maybe one of the most important

As you may know but maybe not, I'm either riding down the big barge on a river in Egypt here, or I am not food addicted. I partially say I'm not because I live with someone who is and there is a HUGE difference in our approaches to food. And to be clear, I think my husband needs to continuing working with both his therapists (the drug pusher and the talker) and continue to dig into why he does what he does.

My good friend who was sleeved in June called me about a month later to say, "Oh my God I did not expect that I would have to feel my feelings!" She (like my husband) has a history of bingeing, purging, and all sorts of disordered behavior. And she's a Type A, must achieve all the way. As is my husband in his own way. And my sister too (although she is compulsively thinner.) I remember being somewhere with my sister and my husband where I had two bites of a soft pretzel and threw it away, and they looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "What? I'm done." And she said, "I could never do that. So I don't buy them at all." And my husband said, "I'd just buy it and eat it, even if I was stuffed." Point being, there are 5 million types of crazy in the naked city.

So it's good, as I was forewarned about that emotional side. But at the same time that part of this hasn't been as hard for me. I have my moments, but I have other coping mechanisms, such as my ridiculous novel reading compulsion.

This forum is helpful to me because I get to see into this a little better. And it helps me because I have people gently saying, "Some of this is not about you…think about his feelings this way." And I appreciate that.

Y'all are MEAN. I give my kids options when I cook or heat up leftovers. I want my snuggly-wugglies to feel as if they are being nurtured and cared for as only a mother could. I want their every need to be met to the best of my ability because after all, they are the fruit of my loins and I love them like no other.

When I make something they don't care for, they can eat it with the love and joy I felt as I was preparing it or they can eat a PB&J or bowl of cereal. Let's hope the bread isn't stale and the milk isn't spoiled. If it is, their last choice is to suck it.

Oh yeah, right...

As I said somewhere I ALWAYS gave the family two choices... Take it or leave it.

If they left it then they had two more choices, encapsulated in the old contry saying "Root hog, or die".

Doesn't everyone?? I'm at about 30 this year but if I could count VST I'd be at way more than that!

So if you track how many books you read in a year

I just got home from out of town and all I can say is the mobile app is working like total dogs hit now. I've tried deleting it and reinstalling it....nothing helps. It freezes everytime I try to post. I've posted several nekkid dancing videos and none of them are here. WTF! I can't even report the problem because the "report a technical issue" thingy hasn't worked from day 1. I've posted about it to Susan and Alex and never received a comment or reply. They must both have me blocked. Good thing that is working properly.

As too Fluff's dilemma, I have no answer. Our approach was an "every man for him/her self". My wife really hated this at first. She comes from a family that sits down at EVERY meal. I decided I didn't need to sit there and watch her eat a large meal every night when I wasn't hungry and couldn't eat what she was eating. Furthermore, I needed to eat on my schedule....my "every 3 hour protein" schedule....which didn't always coincide with her schedule. When you eat 2 or 3 big meals a day, waiting an hour or 2 for dinner is no big deal. When you eat 6 mini meals a day, you can't wait an additional 2 hours.

Now she does intermittent fasting. She eats from 8am to 4pm and then she's done for the day. I don't get home from work till 630. So dinner together is a rare thing now. But we make up for it in other ways. We still spend that time together, just not eating. We both have decided that our health is too important and our dietary needs are too different....so we each eat when/what we need....and we plan our together time around other things.

We don't have kids but we do have many animals. We take turns feeding them and they eat what we give them. My mom always said she should have puppies instead of babies. Now I see why.

Gosh, I had forgotten. When I was a child, we were always told to eat our meat first. Then the veg. Then the potatoes. I was a very skinny child and a skinny teenager. Only got fat when I was in my 30s

and by then had completely forgotten the meat first rule my mother had. Hmmm.

My stepkids come visit for the summer, and that drags the in-laws in as well. So I cook for an army all summer and yes, once a week is "clean out the fridge day" and they get to choose their leftovers and eat up the excess food. They almost never complain, but even if they did I wouldn't think this was cruel at all.

My son was the pickiest eater in the world until just a few months ago. No pasta. Nothing with a sauce. Nothing mixed up like a casserole or soup or pot pie. He would only eat peas, carrots or cucumbers and fresh fruit. Oh, and bread. He'll eat bread all day and night. Many a night the kid ate toast or cheerios while the rest of us ate a real meal. He's only gained ten pounds in the last three years - he's skin and bones - but he's getting taller and the doctor says no worries. Just recently we emphasized trying new foods. We put it on his weekly chart and he had to try a new food each day. Hallelujah, it worked! The kid now eats a wider variety of foods. He's still picky but at least I know he's not starving.

We don't do separate dinners in my house. If you don't eat dinner, you get toast or cereal. I'm mean, but they're not starving and I don't punish them for not eating so it works for me.

My good friend who was sleeved in June called me about a month later to say, "Oh my God I did not expect that I would have to feel my feelings!" She (like my husband) has a history of bingeing, purging, and all sorts of disordered behavior. And she's a Type A, must achieve all the way. As is my husband in his own way. And my sister too (although she is compulsively thinner.) I remember being somewhere with my sister and my husband where I had two bites of a soft pretzel and threw it away, and they looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "What? I'm done." And she said, "I could never do that. So I don't buy them at all." And my husband said, "I'd just buy it and eat it, even if I was stuffed." Point being, there are 5 million types of crazy in the naked city.

I will say I'm guilty of assuming everyone can or should be able to walk away from food like I can. There are currently six dozen cookies on my counter cooling. Hubs is taking them into the office for someone's birthday. Zero temptation. To me, to the kids, to the hubs...nobody cares. These are yummy cookies, but nobody cares. With few exceptions, food is not a big deal around here. I'm even breaking my soda addiction! It's liberating.

So when people say they can't throw things away or stop eating I get frustrated. Why? What's controlling you and forcing you to keep going? I don't understand it, and that makes me far less sympathetic about this, unfortunately.

Oh, and Butter had gelato? I'm jealous. Not because I want gelato; I don't. Rather, because even if I did want gelato it would upset my tummy that still won't tolerate any of those rich dairy things. Instead of savoring the treat, I'd wind up with dumping syndrome.

But I totally had a small soda and some popcorn at the theater the other day. It did NOT taste like turkey and cheese. But it was less than satisfying - the popcorn was too salty and the soda was too sweet.

These are the times I have regrets. Not REAL regrets but sort of a sad look back at how much enjoyment I used to get out of food. Those splurges are less worthwhile to me.

~Cheri