I'm in the beginning stage of my journey to a better, healthier me.. But I'm really worried because I could eat all day long and when I sit down to a meal I just keep on eating... I've helped the grandkids order their meals thinking if they don't finish it, I will... I'm just afraid after rny surgery I might still never feel full... I know its pathetic but am I the only one out there that has this problem... Will the surgery work for me? I want it so bad. I've been ordering protein powders, supplements and trying to prepare myself for it to work. I've tried the liquid died for a few days to c if I can actually do it and I cheated and took a bite here and there! I didn't take more than a bite but why did I have to cheat??? I hate it for doing that and I'm just worried...can I really do this???

Well good news is you are 100% normal in your feelings. The answer is really within yourself, but the tests that you keep giving yourself are unfair. Let me explain: I woke up from surgery fog and pain about a week later and as I was sitting in bed sipping my water I realized I was not hungry. For the first time in my life I did not want food. I was just not hungry. I had been up for several hours and food has never crossed my mind. I knew then that this was going to work.

Now with that being said the next added tool is that in the early stages when you eat something you should not your stomach makes you pay dearly for it. I thought I was miss know it all and doing great in my recovery and had eggs too early. Trust me it makes it hard to eat eggs now.

The struggle is with your brain. It is a creature of bad habits. It will tell you over and over that the egg is fine a week after surgery. What do those silly surgeons know anyway - you can eat that egg no problem. It will throw a temper tantrum that will Hail in comparison to a two year old.

I am a year post op and can eat anything I want, but my portion sizes are much much smaller. As for trying the protein shakes don't buy too much before surgery as your taste buds change so much after surgery. This journey is a great experience and will test you mentally, physically. It is worth the pain, struggles and hard times. I have learned so much about who I am and have realized I am so much stronger than I thought I was. The best thing is going to a store and knowing I can fit into anything. I hope that helped.

Thank you for your advice music. I might be trying to work overtime mentally hoping this will work for me... I mean I know it will because I've been reading every thread on this site for a couple weeks now. I see it works for everyone else so it just has to work for me... I was skin and bones all my life and did everything to gain weight. I'm 5'10" and up till my early 40's I averaged 130 lbs then wham! I have lots of things to blame it on but things just went out of control. Little by little I began to gain and before I knew it I didn't know the person looking back at me in the mirror... I've always been the bread winner in my family, my X of 23 years wouldn't work and contribute financially and I had a very successful but stressful career. Rebellious teenagers added to the stress and then throwing in 4 grand kids to raise seemed to top it off!!!

My husband became ashamed of me and refused to even touch me for years he claimed to be impotent but I blamed myself for it. Then about 18 months ago his girlfriend started messaging me that she wanted to break it off but he didn't and wanted me to handle the issue for her!!! So much for impotence... They had been seeing each other for over 10 years...But $1200.00 and 30 days later were divorced and he's on a plane back to where he came from... Still no job and living with his sister... He basically got the clothes on his back and a suitcase when he left!!!

His GF contacting me was the best thing to ever happen to me... I'm better off financially now and my self esteem is growing daily not having someone remind me that I'm eating too much and that I'm not who he married. Him getting on that plane back to Hawaii lifted a huge burden that I didn't even know I was carrying.

I'm in a better place mentally than I've been in 20 years. Now I'm ready to get healthy, get rid of the high BP, cholesterol, blood sugar problems, joint pain and depression over being over weight!!! I'm sooo ready for this. My doctor has given me the go ahead and tomorrow is my first seminar... Next week starts the tests required by the insurance and I've finished my 6 month supervised diet so I'm sure I'm headed down the right path... I just want the old confident me back!

I guess I've unloaded a lot here but since no one knows me I felt free to do so... Lol

Anyway thank you for your response and for listening...

Thank you for your advice music. I might be trying to work overtime mentally hoping this will work for me... I mean I know it will because I've been reading every thread on this site for a couple weeks now. I see it works for everyone else so it just has to work for me... I was skin and bones all my life and did everything to gain weight. I'm 5'10" and up till my early 40's I averaged 130 lbs then wham! I have lots of things to blame it on but things just went out of control. Little by little I began to gain and before I knew it I didn't know the person looking back at me in the mirror... I've always been the bread winner in my family' date=' my X of 23 years wouldn't work and contribute financially and I had a very successful but stressful career. Rebellious teenagers added to the stress and then throwing in 4 grand kids to raise seemed to top it off!!!

My husband became ashamed of me and refused to even touch me for years he claimed to be impotent but I blamed myself for it. Then about 18 months ago his girlfriend started messaging me that she wanted to break it off but he didn't and wanted me to handle the issue for her!!! So much for impotence... They had been seeing each other for over 10 years...But 1200.00 and 30 days later were divorced and he's on a plane back to where he came from... Still no job and living with his sister... He basically got the clothes on his back and a suitcase when he left!!!

His GF contacting me was the best thing to ever happen to me... I'm better off financially now and my self esteem is growing daily not having someone remind me that I'm eating too much and that I'm not who he married. Him getting on that plane back to Hawaii lifted a huge burden that I didn't even know I was carrying.

I'm in a better place mentally than I've been in 20 years. Now I'm ready to get healthy, get rid of the high BP, cholesterol, blood sugar problems, joint pain and depression over being over weight!!! I'm sooo ready for this. My doctor has given me the go ahead and tomorrow is my first seminar... Next week starts the tests required by the insurance and I've finished my 6 month supervised diet so I'm sure I'm headed down the right path... I just want the old confident me back!

I guess I've unloaded a lot here but since no one knows me I felt free to do so... Lol

Anyway thank you for your response and for listening...

[/quote']

This is the best place to unload. I guarantee that there are a dozen people who, even if they don't post, read your story and can relate to it in one way or another. Stay focused, make small goals for yourself and before you know it it will be time for insurance to be submitted and a surgery date will be made. We are here for you!

hi Tammy, I was never skinny like you, but I really understand what you feel now! Stress is such awful thing, I know how it is, gaining weight from all the burden on your shoulders. I am sure you will grow stronger as the process goes and by the end of being pre-op, you'll be looking forward to live your life to the fullest! I am proud of you for taking your fate in your hands and everybody here are too!

You know it by now, but this site is full of people ready and eager to help you with whatever comes your way

Hugs!

I'm in the beginning stage of my journey to a better' date=' healthier me.. But I'm really worried because I could eat all day long and when I sit down to a meal I just keep on eating... I've helped the grandkids order their meals thinking if they don't finish it, I will... I'm just afraid after rny surgery I might still never feel full... I know its pathetic but am I the only one out there that has this problem... Will the surgery work for me? I want it so bad. I've been ordering Protein powders, supplements and trying to prepare myself for it to work. I've tried the liquid died for a few days to c if I can actually do it and I cheated and took a bite here and there! I didn't take more than a bite but why did I have to cheat??? I hate it for doing that and I'm just worried...can I really do this???[/quote']

I worried, too, but trust me, you wont be hungry. I also agree... Don't buy too much post surgery food. I'm still stuck with sugar free Jello cups.

Thank you everyone. Having a place to go and visit with people who understands is the most awesome thing. I've been keeping things to myself not wanting to sound like I was on the Pity pot... Lol

I've moved my elderly parents in my home in the last few months and I was worried about so many things like how to cook special meals for their special diets and meals that satisfy 9-10-13 and 17 you're olds... Then my diet. So I'm glad that food won't be an issue for me. I can't wait for the surgery day and begin living my life again it seems so far off but we all have to start somewhere. :-)) I'm so loving this place!

Welcome Tammy! Good for you! Thanks for sharing!

Hi shershrinking, thank you.

Sorry

]Hi Tammy. I'm waiting for approval from my insurance. It seem like it is taking forever. But it has only been 5 days! Lol! I am having feelings of doubt too, not the same as you but because of the wondering what's going to happen, how I'm gonna handle everything. Kinda not sure how the significant other is going to handle it. We have been together off and on for 15 years. Living together for the last three years. We have 2 daughters together, 12 & 4, and I have a 22 year old and 19 year old from a previous relationship and he has two from previous relationships. My thoughts are that once I lose weight I am gonna leave him, not because I don't love him, I love him with everything I have. But I kinda feel resentment towards him I feel that he wasn't happy with me when I was heavy. He has never said this but I just get this feeling from him.

Naynay, I totally understand how you feel... My husband (X), quit touching me after gaining aprox 50 lbs. he actually said my weight made him impotent. I was about 200 at that point. So I went over 15 years with 2 times of mercy sex and it was a sad excuse for sex. Then after 23 yrs of marriage I find out about his affairs. One was over the last 10 years. So much for impotence, but anyway when I filed for divorce he suddenly took an interest in me and started saying all the right things that should have been said 15 years ago, but I knew he had just been tolerating me through the years because I was his retirement plan. He never wanted to hold a job. When he decided he wanted me to give him another chance I felt like I really hated him and the thought of him touching me made my skin crawl!

I hated him for not loving me all these years and not wanting anything of me except me to support him. So I totally understand where you are coming from... If I had lost all the weight and was the 130lb gal he married things "may" had been different, and maybe not but I know I resented him wanting to pretend caring about me just to have a free ride...I could never be with a man that only wanted me because I was thin...it took me too many years of blaming myself for his selfishness. I'm 53 yrs old and feel like I've lost 23 prime years I could have been with someone who really wanted me.

I know this is long but last year I went on a dating site using my pic of who I am today and I met the most precious man I've ever known... He loves me for me and after dating a few months I told him about my decision to have wls and he stands by me whatever I choose. He'll love me thick or thin. He's learning as much as he can so he will know how to take care of me post op and he went to the seminar and is in full support if my choices. He at first was against it because of ignorance and believed I would die but after his research he feels more comfortable about it... I am blessed to have found a man like him to live out my life with...

Sorry so long. I've just found a place I can be me and express my feelings that have been under the surface all these years.

Sound like you found a good guy. Hold on to him. They are few and far between. I know what you mean about talking. I feel I can say whatever on here too. Everyone is understanding and compassionate.

Thank you for your advice music. I might be trying to work overtime mentally hoping this will work for me... I mean I know it will because I've been reading every thread on this site for a couple weeks now. I see it works for everyone else so it just has to work for me... I was skin and bones all my life and did everything to gain weight. I'm 5'10" and up till my early 40's I averaged 130 lbs then wham! I have lots of things to blame it on but things just went out of control. Little by little I began to gain and before I knew it I didn't know the person looking back at me in the mirror... I've always been the bread winner in my family' date=' my X of 23 years wouldn't work and contribute financially and I had a very successful but stressful career. Rebellious teenagers added to the stress and then throwing in 4 grand kids to raise seemed to top it off!!!

My husband became ashamed of me and refused to even touch me for years he claimed to be impotent but I blamed myself for it. Then about 18 months ago his girlfriend started messaging me that she wanted to break it off but he didn't and wanted me to handle the issue for her!!! So much for impotence... They had been seeing each other for over 10 years...But 1200.00 and 30 days later were divorced and he's on a plane back to where he came from... Still no job and living with his sister... He basically got the clothes on his back and a suitcase when he left!!!

His GF contacting me was the best thing to ever happen to me... I'm better off financially now and my self esteem is growing daily not having someone remind me that I'm eating too much and that I'm not who he married. Him getting on that plane back to Hawaii lifted a huge burden that I didn't even know I was carrying.

I'm in a better place mentally than I've been in 20 years. Now I'm ready to get healthy, get rid of the high BP, cholesterol, blood sugar problems, joint pain and depression over being over weight!!! I'm sooo ready for this. My doctor has given me the go ahead and tomorrow is my first seminar... Next week starts the tests required by the insurance and I've finished my 6 month supervised diet so I'm sure I'm headed down the right path... I just want the old confident me back!

I guess I've unloaded a lot here but since no one knows me I felt free to do so... Lol

Anyway thank you for your response and for listening...

[/quote']

Just so you know I was here & I read every word you wrote. I'm so sorry that bastard X of yours did that to you & how there your kids being teenagers bring kids to this works when they can't take care if them self(since they live with you) I hope your not making there life easy such as if they don't work clean the house & raise your own kids. I thank god my 16 year old knows better then to think about sex. She will have sex after high school but not till then & she is 16 now but it's ok with me at 18 & must have job cuz I'm not raising kids & you must be prepare for life. You will have a great life with out someone making you feel horrible. Men get a joy out of making us feel bad. I'm taking from experience.

I might have mislead about the grand kids... It's my 35 year old daughter who leaves the kids... Lol

She doesn't live with us, thank goodness... She's really wild but had babies to try and change her men she was with...

I've had each if them since birth and about 3 years ago she met a nice guy who offer a home and security so after a while I let them go live with them in tulsa and things were good till they split up. So now she dropped them off for a visit when school was out and hasn't been back to pick them up... I can't force her to be a good mother but I can't stand the thought of them being split up in foster care... They're good kids. (For the most part) lol grandmas love is very strong so everyday is a new day and we get through it. They're having trouble settling back into my rules but they're getting there...

Chores first then whatever they choose for entertainment. I have twenty acres and about half is woods so they entertain themselves with making forts and that kind of thing... So its really tough but we muddle through it every day. They've already got their plans on how they're going to help me after surgery so we'll see...

Aww. I'm sure your daughter is just trying to have the kids have some stability. And she knows you are that for them. My three younger kids have been staying with my mom since the day they got out of school for summer too. Grandma and grandpa don't want them to come home. When I try to pick them up my dad asks when "his" kids r coming home. I am hoping that I have surgery before school starts again.