Since my hubby is deployed and won't be back until 4 months after my surgery, my mom will be my support person after the surgery. She is so scared that her anxiety is driving me up the wall. She told several ppl and they keep sending me emails with links to ppl that have have major complications or even died from surgery! I am very aware of the risks and I know that my compliance has a lot to do with many of the complications. However, I am almost to the point of telling my mom that I cancelled the surgery and have someone else come and help me out. I have so much to do already to prepare ( arrangements for transpo for kids activities, cleaning, organizing quick meals, etc) that this is becoming too much. How do you deal with loved ones that try to scare you into not having the surgery? I've tried giving them up to date literature and my mom was there at the pre op with my surgeon but she just refused to really listen. They are very opinionated and won't listen to reason. Their justification is that since I gained 100 lbs with both pregnancies and lost it within 8 months, I can lose this weight. But that was before my injuries and I ran close to 40-45 miles a week and did some real drastic things that were pretty dangerous. Also, I was in the Army and if you were overweight it was equal to being dirtbag and I was called a fat ass pig everyday until I lost the weight. They are so used to me losing weight quickly in the past that they think I'm being lazy and looking for an easy way out. Anyway, I expect ppl who don't know me to have opinions but I expect more from loved ones who have watched me struggle.

Lol! I def don't want my mother-in-law to know. She's worse than my mom because she is an a passive-aggressive airhead. She never really talks to me, just kinda interrogates me about her son. Anyway, my in laws are very opinionated too. At least I know my mom is coming from love and concern.

Any chance you have a sister or a best friend who would be willing to be your support person pre and postOp? I know it's not the same as a mom but if shes stressing you out and bringing you down then that's not good for you emotionally, physically or psychologically. My bariatric center offers support groups three times a month. Some are specific for pre or post Op. Maybe you could pair up with someone there to be each other's support net? Hope you find peace and someone you can trust soon. peace

Any chance you have a sister or a best friend who would be willing to be your support person pre and postOp? I know it's not the same as a mom but if shes stressing you out and bringing you down then that's not good for you emotionally' date=' physically or psychologically. My bariatric center offers support groups three times a month. Some are specific for pre or post Op. Maybe you could pair up with someone there to be each other's support net? Hope you find peace and someone you can trust soon. peace[/quote']

I do have a friend that will help me and my 17 year old son actually DOES NOT want my mom coming for the surgery. He says he can cover down since he's been around while I had my c-sec and hysterectomy. However, I will not put that burden on him solely. My husband instructed both our boys ( ages 6 and 17) to "take care of mommy" while he's gone. I guess they're taking the orders seriously. Lol. Anyway, the idea about pairing up with someone from a support group is a great idea. Thanks so much for your concern and encouragement.

CJ

Lol! I def don't want my mother-in-law to know. She's worse than my mom because she is an a passive-aggressive airhead. She never really talks to me' date=' just kinda interrogates me about her son. Anyway, my in laws are very opinionated too. At least I know my mom is coming from love and concern.[/quote']

Totally understand! I dont get too much support from my parents im their only child im 29 still their baby! So i guess its understandable at some extent my hubby is the only one that understand and even tough he is scared shitless for me and worried hes been suportive and doesnt let me feel lonely going through this the only thing though i told him DO NOT TELL your mother!!! She is nosey as hell!! Aghh! Mother in laws! Gotta hate oops! Sorry! Love them! Lol ;0)

Totally understand! I dont get too much support from my parents im their only child im 29 still their baby! So i guess its understandable at some extent my hubby is the only one that understand and even tough he is scared shitless for me and worried hes been suportive and doesnt let me feel lonely going through this the only thing though i told him DO NOT TELL your mother!!! She is nosey as hell!! Aghh! Mother in laws! Gotta hate oops! Sorry! Love them! Lol ;0)

Lol. I feel you. My hubby tell his mother things that aren't necessarily private, but that I dont want him to share with anyone. He gets frustrated and says how is he supposed to know what to tell and what not to tell. I just tell him if it had to do with me, say nothing; just talk about himself or the kids. Mine is nosey too and has no boundaries on the questions she asks. Aghh!! Lol