My name is Terry. I am 53 yrs old. I have been overweight since the birth of my twins, 26 yrs ago. I gained even more weight with my second pregnancy. I tried WW and lost 50 lbs, but gained it back, and then some. I tried Atkins and lost seventy 75 lbs, and gained it all back. I spent thousands on Optifast, lost 80 lbs, and gained it all back. I was so sure that I would keep off the weight after Optifast that I donated all my old clothes. I bought a whole new beautiful wardrobe and I felt so good! But the pounds have come back over the last 3yrs. I have had to pack up my pretty wardrobe and buy new fat clothes for my job in a bank. I have knee pain, lower back pain, and suffer through each and every day. My husband has been working out for years with my son and looks amazing for a man his age. I am embarrassed to be seen with him, not because of how he looks but because of how I look. I imagine people wonder why this handsome physically fit man who looks ten years younger than his actual age is with that short fat older looking woman. I am ashamed and miserable. I am also very afraid of what my future holds. Will I be fat, in pain, and miserable till I die? Or will I even HAVE a future?

I came to the decision that I want to enjoy the years I have left, not just exist and suffer through them. I want to be healthy, feel good, and look as good as I can. I want to do all the things I put off to raise my family. I want to enjoy these empty nest years with my husband. I started researching weightloss surgery options. My manager had the lapband and lost 140lbs. I started talking to him and reading all I could about all the options available. I watched youtube stories endlessly. I started deliberately searching for BAD experiences but couldn't find many. What I did find was people who had unpleasant experiences due to bad choices and poor decisions. Most of these people clearly stated that they caused thier own discomfort (wrong foods, too much food, not drinking enough, or skipping vitamins). Even people who had surgical complications did not regret their decision to have the surgery. Mostly I found people who had over all a positive life changing experience. I made an appointment with my doctor to talk to him about it. He approved and thought I'd be a good candidate. I had an appointment with my thyroid doctor also so I discussed my decision with him. He approved and encouraged me. He also gave me a lot of information about the doctor I would be seeing. They arranged for me to attend a seminar about WLS.

I needed to tell my husband now. He was not to happy about it but recognized that I really wanted this. One night he told me that he was concerned about the seriousness of the surgery and possible complications. He said he'd rather have a fat wife than a dead one. I told him I'd rather be a dead wife than live my life as a fat one. And without the WLS I would probably die much sooner than he would anyway.

I attended the seminar and started the process that hopefully will lead to the surgery, providing I am healthy enough. I have chosen the Roux en Y gastric bypass. I had my first appointment with the surgeon last week, I have an appointment scheduled with a dietician, I'm waiting on my appointment with the psych people, and my lab work info will be coming in the mail, perhaps today. I am excited (about begining my new life) and I'm aprehensive (that something will prevent me from having the surgery). I go to the stores and look at skinny clothes and dream. I'm starting to buy small dishes to eat off of, Water bottles to ensure I stay hydrated, and cute little plastic containers to measure out food to take to work. I've bought a food scale, and a mini food processor. I splurged on a really cute size 12 business suit that I hope to be wearing by this time next year. I have hopes and dreams for my future, not dread.

What is causing me the most anxiety about this whole process is timing. We are converting to a whole new operating system at work and it is a HUGE deal, with lots of specialized training that begins in May, understaffing issues during training, pre-launch trials, and finally going live in August. There are MANY blackout dates where staff cannot be out of work. I am hoping to accomplish having my surgery without creating a serious issue at work. I am very thankful that my boss, having undergone it himself, is very understanding and supportive. There are key date blocks that can't be approved by him, but need to go through our main office. If things take too long I might have to put off the surgery till September, which I DO NOT want to do. Wish me luck!

(HUGS) your not alone. We have had some very similar experiences. I got a lapband in 2011. The lab band is adjustable and everytime I get a "fill" / "adjustment" I have severe reflux. I can't wait to get this thing out of me. I have had to have all of the Fluid removed. I am now trying to get a revision to the RNY.

I truly understand how you feel and wish you the best!

Thank you ElleG, for the well wishes. My labwork slip came in the mail today and I'll have it all done on Monday. My coordinator called me today with an appointment at the end of the month for sugical clearance. (?) I have to have a stress test because I'm over 50, they're still trying to get my primary care to order it.

Are you disatisfied with the lapband results? I decided not to do it because I found the idea of a port a little disturbing. My manager has the lapband. He gets reflux all the time and something he calls "slime hiccups". He looks really good, though, and is quite a fancy dresser now. He is happy with how he looks now and he LOVES shopping for clothes.

Check out Fmla at the bank - if your at a large chain they can't give you black out dates - they won't be happy - but they can't

Thank you ElleG, for the well wishes. My labwork slip came in the mail today and I'll have it all done on Monday. My coordinator called me today with an appointment at the end of the month for sugical clearance. (?) I have to have a stress test because I'm over 50, they're still trying to get my primary care to order it.

Are you disatisfied with the lapband results? I decided not to do it because I found the idea of a port a little disturbing. My manager has the lapband. He gets reflux all the time and something he calls "slime hiccups". He looks really good, though, and is quite a fancy dresser now. He is happy with how he looks now and he LOVES shopping for clothes.

I lost about 20 lbs and gained it back plus because of me having to take the Fluid out due to reflux. I basically weigh the same as when I started this journey 2 years ago. It works great for some people and then u have us unlucky ones.

I think the GB is your best choice, I had the band and lost 80 lbs the first year, and throwed up for the next 3 yrs every day...finally had it removed in August 2012, having GB on 4/24/13...wished I had chosen this originally and I would be well into my new healthy life , but better late than never!! Best of Luck!!

I wanted to do something permanent. It seemed that RNY had the best long-term results and I really desperately want long term. I am tired of being overweight and feeling terrible. I just want to feel good again, especially after having a taste of it when I lost all that weight with Optifast. For a breif moment in time I was comfortable and very happy with myself. I want that back.

Hi! Invest in a magic bullet or a really good blender. Good luck on your journey. There are days when I regret getting RNY because I'm going through a severe nauseous and vomiting stage but the 40 lbs I've lost 5 weeks keeps me motivated! This is a great group of people and you'll love it here!

SD:1/28/13 HW:358 SW:338 CW:298

Thank you! I was looking at the Magic Bullit the other day...I think thats the one for me!

Wow your history sounds like mine. I had my surgery last Monday March 4th. I had RNY also. I'm so happy I had this surgery even though its been a hard week. It doesn't fix your mind. Keep plugging away at all of your Appointments and your surgery will be here before you know it. I can't believe I had mine a week ago. As for work they have to give you off for surgery. Don't worry!!! Keep in touch it would be great to have a weight loss buddy! Good Luck

Wow your history sounds like mine. I had my surgery last Monday March 4th. I had RNY also. I'm so happy I had this surgery even though its been a hard week. It doesn't fix your mind. Keep plugging away at all of your Appointments and your surgery will be here before you know it. I can't believe I had mine a week ago. As for work they have to give you off for surgery. Don't worry!!! Keep in touch it would be great to have a weight loss buddy! Good Luck

How painfull is that first week? I am not wussy about pain I am just wondering how much time I will miss from work. I know every experience is different, too. My surgeon said two weeks out for a non-physical job and four weeks for a physical one, but some people go back to work after only one week, That is the scenario I'm hoping for. I had rotator cuff surgery four years ago and was so bored that I begged for clearance to go back after one week. I got it, with restrictions. :-) There is nothing worse than being home with nothing to do. I wish you well and am envious. You are on your way!

Do you have any advice or insight that would help me, when the time comes?

How painfull is that first week? I am not wussy about pain I am just wondering how much time I will miss from work. I know every experience is different' date=' too. My surgeon said two weeks out for a non-physical job and four weeks for a physical one, but some people go back to work after only one week, That is the scenario I'm hoping for. I had rotator cuff surgery four years ago and was so bored that I begged for clearance to go back after one week. I got it, with restrictions. :-) There is nothing worse than being home with nothing to do. I wish you well and am envious. You are on your way!

Do you have any advice or insight that would help me, when the time comes?[/quote']

I was supposed to be off a week but had so much nausea my doc harassed me into taking 2 extra days, then I did part time 3 days so back full time at 2 weeks. I'm a family practice physician assistant. Not really physical but a lot of up and down and bending and twisting and I stand and walk almost all day. I won't lie, I had 3-4 days that kicked my butt but it really wasn't that bad the fatigue was the worst part of it! Good luck, so very happy for you!!!!