Until this moment, I had been planning to keep my rny a complete secret, and being vague to those who knew I was having surgery, saying I was having a procedure to help my esophagus.

The more that I think about being vague, I'm starting to stress about those who are going to press me for details: FIL, who is going to stay with us for 4 weeks post op to help me with my 3 children, and SIL, who is an MD. Then when I see the relatives that I only see every 3 years or so, a sudden change of my weight will undoubtedly be a source of discussion. They continue to ask me about my 3 c sections, the last of which was 2 years ago, so I doubt I will get off so easily.

I wish I had a thick skin to just tell the world and be able to deal with remarks, sneers, judgements. As a lightweight, I'm afraid people will try to say, "what made you think you needed it in the first place? Don't you know you're beautiful no matter what size you are?" Or some BS like that.

I so do not want to have to justify it to absolutely everyone who feels the need to ask about it and I know I'm not supposed to, but I totally care about what others think about me. Maybe this will change as my self esteem changes post op, but at this moment, I just want to curl up in a ball and avoid it altogether.

I wish I had some cajones and could stand up to the world and own my decision, particularly as a lightweight. The only friend I've told about my surgery is also MO and said to me when I told her, "Do you even qualify?? Are you 100 lbs overweight?" I said, " yes, I am. I'm morbidly obese. Thanks for asking."

Why am I so ashamed of this surgery? Please tell me I'm not alone.

Well I posted it on my Face Book wall is tells you where I stand. lol

I have received nothing but support and also in the process I found our other friend had the surgery themselves or are having it. I don't feel like its anything to hid. I am doing something proactive to make myself healthier. I have been extremely sick with breathing problems (tracheomalacia) having been in and out of the hospital and having had surgeries everyone understands it is for my health that I am doing this. First step to living yourself and the new you.

Though I do have to say my daughter who is 17 is scheduled for surgery in July. She isn't telling anyone at school except her best friend. She just wants to lose the weight without a big announcement. I am so excited for her surgery she will get a new healthy body in which to start her young adulthood in.

Disclaimer- although most people around me know that I'm having surgery, if I ever go back to my hometown to visit (high school reunion, etc). I will not be sharing:). They can just think I was one of the lucky ones who aged well

Disclaimer- although most people around me know that I'm having surgery' date=' if I ever go back to my hometown to visit (high school reunion, etc). I will not be sharing:). They can just think I was one of the lucky ones who aged well <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

Love that! I feel the same. I was being very quiet about surgery and know that I cannot tell my parents (they are 85 and just would never understand surgery).

I have told some of my closest friends because I will need their support. Everyone I've told is supportive and encouraging.