I'm still going through the pre-op testing (abnormal chest x-ray is holding me up right now, should get a call from DR. today...wish me luck!)

DH has been questioning the real benefit of LB.

I did my last Weight Watchers session about 2 yrs ago, lost around 20lbs. and was on the road to further WL. But as you all know, didn't/couldn't stick with it to maintain this loss. I was exercising 3x wk, counting my points etc.

Here's his thinking: You were doing all this before and succeeding, you're going to have to follow the same eating and exercise guidelines after having the band, so why do you need the band? Just do what you did before and stick with it..

I respond, the LB will control how much I put in my mouth.

DH: Well, if there's no guarantee that the weight you lose with LB will stay off, if you can make bad choices again and gain the weight back with LB, why can't you just stay on WW without having surgery and get the same results?

I am having a hard time explaining to him why I really want this. He of course, keeps telling me LB is a tool, your still going to have to exercise and watch what you eat...blah, blah, blah! I know that!

He says his mom had a nervous beakdown and gained 60 lbs, went to a nutritionist, kept with the recommended diet, ate nothing more then permitted on the menu and lost it all plus some and kept it off.

Well good for her! How can I compete with that?

She has more willpower? I'm a bad person because typical WL plans haven't worked with me because I can't stay committed? :Banane48:

I guess he's making me 2nd guess this decision.

What if I really can't do this even, with the band?

I'm so confused

Any advice?

Has anyone ate anything other than liquids on the pre surgery stage of the lap band diet? I'm wondering if I'll still shrink my liver and lose weight if I eat something I like once a week? Thanks!

Did your husband go to your seminar with you. I think the 2 of you need to start over with attending a seminar together.

edie

good luck

I went throught that same thing with my husband. Let me guess...he's never had a weight problem?

It took me 5 years to get my husband on board and even after 5, I had to cry.

Good Luck...I just had mine done 2 days ago so I don't know if it's worth it yet. One can only hope!

Yes, He went to the initial seminar with me. They discussed both LB and RNY. In his opinion it was just a huge sales pitch. They charged $25.00 for the seminar, gave you a folder of insurance forms and health forms etc... and had 2 people share their success stories, they were both RNY patients.

I guess I don;t understand the statistics they had in the brochure the Dr. gave us. Most of the ppl on this forum are very close to goal even with only having surgery less than 12 months ago.

Are the stats saying everyone will gain back half of what they lost after 3-5 years?

His whole point is why do all this and 5 years out still only be at around 170lbs. He thinks I can get down to that with WW. I told him sure, but I won't be able to keep it off.

He has no understanding or concept of being overweight. I cannot in any way, shape or form get him to say "Hey babe, I know you can do this, I will be there and help you get through this. Together we can be strong and concour this terrible weight issue."

Even if he does give-in... and that's just what it will be, giving in, He will be totally angry about it and ignore the whole thing and I will get no support. the first time I say anything remotley negative about the band, He'll say, you're the one that wanted it, so don't be *****in!

He has bullied me out of this.

He is the only support I have, and if he's not into it, I can't be either.

Mary,

Please don't think you are totally without support. We may not be the primary support that your husband can be, but we, maybe even more, understand what this is about. I suspect all of us have tried a half dozen diets and failed to maintain the weight loss. I know I have been dieting for most of my life (since about 15 or 16 years of age) and it just keeps coming on with the additional 10.

I'm also a therapist. So I guess what I'd suggest is having a face to face talk with your husband and tell him that you need his support on this issue. You don't have any guarentees to offer him. But your chances of success in anything increase with the support from a loved one. Is it really about the money or is he afraid of the potential change? What are you going to be like when you're slim? How will this process affect his lifestyle? You might also consider going to counseling for a few sessions together. And if he won't go, go alone and get support from the therapist.

I had my surgery on the 16th. I feel great, motivated and determined. It works. Yes, we have to change our relationship with food...but now I have an great investment (I paid my own way) and I don't want to be fat anymore.

So, keep plugging away...all is not lost on your journey.

Shawn

Is he going to be there if you get diabetes, high blood pressure, pulmonary hypertension, eye disease (Cataract and Glaucoma), sleep apnea, heart problems? I'm not married, but my parents have been for 34 years and I see my dad take my mother to these appointments weekly.

Is your health worth risking your husband being mad for a little while? If your not going to do it, I just don't see why it's not your decision.

You're the one who has to live in your body! He'll get with the program eventually and if he doesn't, oh well.

Congratulations on quitting smoking, by the way! :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2: :clap2:

Mary,

My husband was/is much like yours. I was a self pay. He did not want me to have the surgery. I finally figured out why. It was because he is afraid that once I loose the weight I will want to go find another guy. He likes me fat because other guys don't look at me and my self-esteem is low.

I have lost 45 pounds since my banding and am feeling so much better. I lost the equivalent of a large bag of dog food. There is no way I could carry one of those around all day, and yet I was.

You have to make the right decision for you. For the first time possibly in your life you will need to put you first. If you are not used to that, it is incredibily hard but extremely worth it.