I am not sure if this thread is floating around or not. However, I am curious if you told your family,friends,co-workers that you were having the band done or had the band done or did you just keep it all to yourself? Are you private about the band or more open and upfront to people in your life?

My immediate family, A best friend and a couple of people that i work with know about my pending surgery.. One co-worker had the band herself and the other? A nosey woman who purposly "overheard" us talking. Sucks for me, because that woman has a big mouth and loves office gossip.

I am a private person for the most part and i really did not want people to know what i am having done. I feel that it is going to be hard for me now because that big mouth knows about it and she will tell people. So if i try to pretend it's something else, they'll know i am lieing and i don't like that, i don't want that.

I'm not embarassed to have the band or anything, but i just hate being put on the spot and they're constantly going to watch me and see what i'm eating at lunch..making me feel self concious asking how much weight i've lost.. I guess i don't know how to accept it.

My family is wicked supportive as is my best friend. I already have co-workers asking why i've been going to so many appointments. bleehhh. It's nobody's business but my own. But i do work for a large agency and i'm the receptionist, i can't just hide in the back or blend right in. People will begin to ask questions. Part of me really knows it's going to be impossible to keep a secret. Those of you who have not told anyone, Why is that?? And those of you who have... Do you regret it?

Sorry, A lot of questions.. I am just trying to draw some conclusions myself.

I plan to tell my co-workers that I have been having stomach problems and having surgery to check it out. Close enough to the truth for me!

BTW, only my parents and Sisters know that I am in the process of getting a surgery date. I don't plan to tell others anytime soon.

My husband, my sis and two close friends know. That's it.

I have not told my father or grandma (gram's a little senile at this point, not sure she'd remember) My dad's always been on me about my weight. Even yesterday when I talked to him he was complaining about how tired he got hanging sheetrock in his brother's garage, and that's what happens when you sit around all day (meaning... since YOU sit around all day -which I don't - I have got to be really out of shape) Well dad, I'm sorry I am not 16 anymore and you can't force me to play organized sports for exercise! (no, I'm not bitter.. tee hee) No, I won't be telling him anytime soon.

I am sure I'll let our friends know after they wonder why I am losing weight and eating like a bird. I won't tell work. I just don't like to share personal things with co-workers. I didn't even tell them I was preggers until I had to. If I wouldn't of had to tell them - for coverage reason's etc.- I wouldn't have.

The worst part has been lying to people when they ask WHY we are going to Denver?? in the winter, considering the weather lately... ugh.

This is how I feel about disclosure. Just like all other medical information, this is private, and you should share it with only the people you choose to. I always ask myself "how would it benefit me to tell anybody what I do with my life" if the answer is "nothing," they don't need to know. If you need people watching everything you put in your mouth and asking if you should be eating that, by all means tell them, because that's exactly what happens.

I asked my family to keep it between us, but my mother decided she needed to tell her sisters and nieces about it, needless to say, I don't get along with any of them. I don't see them much, but they're always asking my mother if I'm losing weight.

Before surgery I told just my close family. I made sure they knew the difference between LapBand & bypass. They were extremely supportive once they understood. Was not sure whether I wanted others to know or not. I think I was waiting to see if it was really gonna work for me. It did! Now I tell everyone. Well, anyone that asks. Then I can explain that I still have to eat right but it's such a great tool. I'm normally a very shy person when it comes to strangers, but boy have I changed!

It's funny, at first I wasn't going to tell anyone until the day before.....that way there was no backing out. I have 3 boys 11, 7, and 7....have you ever tried to have a phone conversation with ears like that around!?????! So when the doctors started calling and the questions started I chose to tell. If something was to happen during surgery, I decided they should know why I'm going through this. We are all overweight, my entire family, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, husband and now 2 of my 3 kids. Above and beyond getting myself healthy I'm striving to get my family healthy also. Okay, back to the question...decided only to tell the kids, parents, of course the DH and anyone I HAD to tell. Problem with that was, then it got back to my uncle who called today quizzing me. When I didn't fess up he same as called me a liar and said he had known for a while but thought I would tell him. He was truely hurt! I told him that it was my decision, affecting my body and had chosen to not tell anyone who I thought would try to talk me out of it! He didn't have much to say after that, the polite questions about the procedure and the hospital stay. I would like to say I would do it different but I'm too public with sports and school events always going on so not sure anything would change. My surgery is this Thursday and the nerves are starting to unravel, don't think I can handle any more phone calls like good old Uncles today! Good luck with your decision, whatever you decide be secure and strong with it and it will work fine!

I might also add that of the people I've told, the only one who didn't totally support my decision was my dad. My mom had her stomach stapled a long time ago and she still throws up to this day.....along with gaining all her weight back and more. I think he's afraid that will happen with me also.

The only people that know I've had lap band surgery are my mom, sister and 1 friend. I chose not to tell anyone at work for the same reasons as others, I don't want to be scrutinized, especially while I'm eating. I don't want to have to explain why I'm not losing weight...if that is the case. I am a home health nurse and have told 2 of my patients, both morbidly obese and advised by their MD's to have surgery or...die. One patient has had a thin oxygen tube inserted into her throat so she can breathe...she has so much fat in her neck that it blocks her air passages. Less than 2 weeks post op, I proudly lifted my top and showed her my scars ( I would never have let anyone see my fat tummy before!!!!) She shook her head and said she was afraid of surgery and said she would do it on her own. I felt so sorry for her. She has had a surgery to help her breathe because she is too fat...but would not have an operation to save her life...didn't make sense to me. The other patient I hafe known for several years, but had not seen for a couple months, she has diabetes (the other patient too..both on insulin) leg ulcers, knee problems and sleep apnea, wears a CPAP machine at night with oxygen. She was supposed to meet with a bariatric surgeon and I asked her how it went...she said she never went to the appt....she is too afraid to have surgery. Well, I had to tell her I had it done (in Mexico no less) and showed her my scars! I am so happy I have done something to better my health that I must tell these people....let them know they have options...instead of all these health problems they have to live with every day! I can't wait to lose a significant amt of weight, and go back and visit these women and show them, not to brag, but to see if my success will convince them to take the step and save their lives. I have been wanting to tell someone about this. I have been keeping my band a secret from so many, but am so willing to tell other obese people.

Oh yes, of course I told my 3 boys I was having surgery, like 5jacks says, you can't keep that from those little ears, they hear everything!

I only told two friends. No family members. I was banded a week ago and ran into big problems this weekend with my family. I am in the liquid phase and couldn't eat. Needless to say me not eating definitely gets noticed.

I am still glad I didn't tell my family. I love my family but there are some things about my life that they aren't ready to hear.

Maybe later.

5jacks: Congratulations, you have made the best decision for yourself. Stay strong and GOOD LUCK. I'm sure we will see you back at the Forum after your surgery. Lots of great support here :confused: CHEERS to your up coming surgery and a quick recovery with no complications

Sirena63: WoW you go girl. Thanks for sharing your story about the patients. Keep on keeping on. I admire your passion Thankyou CHEERS

I am not sure if this thread is floating around or not. However, I am curious if you told your family,friends,co-workers that you were having the band done or had the band done or did you just keep it all to yourself? Are you private about the band or more open and upfront to people in your life?

My immediate family, A best friend and a couple of people that i work with know about my pending surgery.. One co-worker had the band herself and the other? A nosey woman who purposly "overheard" us talking. Sucks for me, because that woman has a big mouth and loves office gossip.

I am a private person for the most part and i really did not want people to know what i am having done. I feel that it is going to be hard for me now because that big mouth knows about it and she will tell people. So if i try to pretend it's something else, they'll know i am lieing and i don't like that, i don't want that.

I'm not embarassed to have the band or anything, but i just hate being put on the spot and they're constantly going to watch me and see what i'm eating at lunch..making me feel self concious asking how much weight i've lost.. I guess i don't know how to accept it.

My family is wicked supportive as is my best friend. I already have co-workers asking why i've been going to so many appointments. bleehhh. It's nobody's business but my own. But i do work for a large agency and i'm the receptionist, i can't just hide in the back or blend right in. People will begin to ask questions. Part of me really knows it's going to be impossible to keep a secret. Those of you who have not told anyone, Why is that?? And those of you who have... Do you regret it?

Sorry, A lot of questions.. I am just trying to draw some conclusions myself.

HI kelsy, the only people I told were my little sister,husband, my boss. I am very secret about it because my family dosent approve and my husbands family is critical,and i work with all men who think all women should be a size 2 with dd cups. That why i have kept it to my self.:bandit

I, too, have been reluctant to "tell" anyone about my lap band surgery. I will have mine on Monday, 3-26-07. I have only told my immediate family not any co-workers or close friends. I feel like they will try to talk me out of it and focus on the dangers, instead of the weight loss and the greater health I will have. I probably will have to tell, eventually, but I live in a small town. When one person knows, EVERYONE in the community will know. I just really don't want to deal with that right now. I want to concentrate on my surgery, recovery, and new way of life. I am doing this for ME--no one else. So in my opinion, it is none of anyone's business, except for the people it will affect--my family. When the time arises, I will probably let the secret out, but as for now, that is what it will be.

Yes, I feel the same way as well. Although, still a month and a half from surgery, the only people who know that I have made this decision to be banded is my DH, my mom, my sister, and my mom's friend ( who is also being banded). I really do not want any of my DH's family knowing about it simply because they think that weight loss should be on your own, not with the help of advanced technology. But yet, most of the family is still obese on my side and my DH's side.

My aunt had the gastric bypass, and now, to even talk about it with the family, they are like....Oh, are you sure you want to go through what your aunt has gone through<------she has had a hard time with it all and said she would not do it again. Well, I have told them, this is not the same, and if something goes wrong (praying that it wont) mine can be removed. My mom was like...wow, thats better then. The only reason my mom's friend knows is because she told my mom that she was having it done, and my mom (bless her heart, but she likes to talk) told her I was too having it done. Well, anyway, it is a personal choice, especially when you have tried many other things or everything in the book. It is not easy making this decision, but as long as you have a few people who you can lean on before, during, and after, that is all that matters. Like people from this board, if you are not going to tell anyone else, this board is here to help you through it.