Hello Everyone,

It's four days countdown to surgery and for some reason, I don't feel as nervous as I thought I would, but then again I'm not on the table yet. Since I'm newly widowed and my husband was always by my side for the last 34yrs whenever I needed to go to the hospital or doctor's office for anything serious...

This all feels... Weird.

I don't feel the panic/nervousness that I'm use to when going in for some type of surgical procedure and then the comfort of knowing he was right there to make sure I felt safe and that scares me. I'm taking note of this emotional sea of calmness, in the midst of grief and finding it odd actually. I am excited and nervous at the same time about this new chapter I'm about to embark on, putting this in God's hands and knowing that it will turn out for the best. I guess in a nutshell, I MISS MY HUSBAND and feel a little strange about this new chapter I am about to embark on without him. I was totally healthy until he passed. Then 3 mths later, diagnosed with diabetes, a month later high blood pressure and I'm like WTH. I just lost him and now all this is going on, my family is supportive but feel like I could lose the weight on my own if I wanted. I'm tired of my defiant love affair with food which I really didn't realize until the diagnosis of the two illness. I need a new approach to be a better me so I can live a longer & healthier life.

So sorry about the death of your husband. You are strong and will do great in a few days. Good luck and keep us posted on how u are doing.

sorry for your loss good luck on your surgery mine is in 3 days ... i bet that peace you feel is him wrapping his arms around you still ... god bless