Hello everyone. I am two days out from having my surgery and I can't stop crying. There are so many things going through my mind and I can't quiet them. I've been on this journey for the past three and a half years. That's when I first went to see a surgeon about the procedure. Afther that first visit I thought by having the surgery I was taking the easy way out - (boy was I wrong). So I decided not to have it and would go at it "the old fashioned way". That was a huge mistake because I ballooned up to 378lbs. Then I started to have issues with my back and it became severely problematic. My doctor said they couldn't fix my spine but he could help me with pain management which would work better if I lost weight. I ignored that until I went on a business trip and had to come home in a wheelchair because of my back. So I went back to the surgeon, followed all of the steps and had a surgical date of February 4th 2013. Long story short that surgeion and I had a difference of opinion in reference to my care and the surgery was cancelled the day before it was scheduled to happen. I was devastated. I prayed, picked myself up and found another surgeon. Thankfully, I only had to jump through a few additional hoops with the new doctor and was once again approved immediately by my insurance company. Now, here I sit crying like a baby. No one in my immediate pesonal life wants me to have the surgery. That freaks me out. I'm terrified of loosing all this weight and then not be able to look at mysef in the mirror because of all the hanging skin. I'm feeling overwhelmed..... Is this normal, or am I just having a breakdown?

You are honestly scared just like the rest of us before surgery. I questioned myself and my new life a lot before surgery. If you aren't then you didn't take this seriously. Hang in there, I think wls will be good for you and your back. I may have hanging skin when this is done but I will live longer for my family and enjoy a healthy productive life. Someday I can get that skin fixed! It would be nice if your family supported you but that doesn't mean you don't know what is best for you. Every time I tried on my own I would lose and then gain it and some more back. I finally decided this was it and I only regret that I didn't have this option earlier in my life. Your family will come around when they see you losing the weight. Hang in there and keep the faith!!!

I think you're emotional upheaval is normal particularly since your family is not supporting your decision. I have had tremendous support from my husband but I grieved for food for a long time and was so terrified that I would become terribly depressed if I could no longer use food to calm my emotions. Also, during the pre-op diet I was a basket case, partly because of the sugar detox but also because I'm very fearful of surgery in general and here I was volunteering to have most of my stomach removed.

This is a big life shift both physically and emotionally. You can do this and you will be fine. I also have been dealing with a back problem for several years and losing weight has really helped me to move with so much more ease and I have much less pain.

Try to calm yourself. Call a close friend who you can talk too, pray, meditate or just cry if you meed to. You are making a very good decision for yourself, your life and wellbeing.

pre-surgery weight 325; surgery date 2/28/2013; surgery weight 307; 8 weeks past-op weight 281.4; 12 weeks post-op 274; 4 month post-op 266.2

Thank you both for your kind words. The one good thing is that even though those close to me don't think I should do it they have been pretty okay and will be there. They're afraid of surgery period - so I can't speak to any of them because they're fear will overtake everyone in the room. LOL. I can't!

Your thoughts are normal. But u have no idea what it feels like to succeed in weight loss. It's the best feeling in the world. I promise you the skin won't be an issue! You will be just fine so now quit looking behind u look forward And do something for yourself!! You will be so glad you did.