I am noticing the start of a cross over addiction. When I drink I don't stop. I can... I just don't. Or maybe I can't. Anyway it is enough to raise a flag for me so I am actively not drinking. But I have two family trips coming up. One with my husbands family and one with my mom. Both will include lots of social drinking. I am worried about not being able to just social drink and not being able to choose not to. I want to commit to myself to stay in control.

Yep. This happens a lot, but you have to take to heart the fact that the power is in your hands. Just because people are drinking socially doesn't mean you need to, so do not try to justify the situation to yourself like that. If you have a problem with alcohol you've got no business drinking.

major factor of weightloss surgery...trading one addiction for another..one of the main reason most places have psych evaluation. That is if one is honest with the doctor. Most of my social life before surgery involved drinking. It has been hard to not hangout with the people I use to,,Family gatherings are tough but you have to make a choice. Your life or a drink. What helps me most a family gatherings is to stay busy moving around..always have your water with or without flavoring...believe it or not you probably are not the only one not drinking..but you are the only one who can make the choice. you have gone thru alot to lose and are doing great

All good advice. I have taken up jogging in the morning and that helps. Can't jog with a hangover

A lot of places offer skinny non alcoholic versions maybe try that at social gatherings so at least you dont feel left out

I am noticing the start of a cross over addiction. When I drink I don't stop. I can... I just don't. Or maybe I can't. Anyway it is enough to raise a flag for me so I am actively not drinking. But I have two family trips coming up. One with my husbands family and one with my mom. Both will include lots of social drinking. I am worried about not being able to just social drink and not being able to choose not to. I want to commit to myself to stay in control.

There is no shame in asking for help when you need it.

Well done to you for noticing this in yourself. It is something I sometimes worry about. I know I can choose to not drink, I have not had alcohol over extended periods of time and been perfectly okay. What worries me is that I don't want to not drink. I like to drink. It is scary enough that I think at times it is enough to keep me sober. Which I know makes little sense!

The trick for me is, I think, telling others. Being really honest about wanting to not drink and seeking support in that. Which may mean that others don't drink so it is a big ask. But these are your friends and family, they want what is best for you so I hope they can support you to not drink through this period.

If you don't want to drink, just put it in that category with other stuff you don't do even if someone wants you too. I went to lots of parties in the first six months post-op when I didn't drink and even now I only drink once or twice a week max so on vacation I don't drink every day and if I go to a lot of parties in one week, I don't drink at all of them.

Have a backup plan for getting away if everyone else gets so tipsy that you can't stand another minute with them sober. I say I am tired or need a little rest when I need to get away from my fellow vacationers. Even if they give me a ration, I go hide in my room -reading a book or quietly looking at my ipad. If they are partying in my room, I hide by the pool or someone else's room.

Find some non-alcoholic drinks you like that feel festive. I like sparkling Water with a splash of cranberry and a squeeze of lime. If you can't do bubbly drinks, it's good with still water too. That's how I drank it for the first months after surgery. I also like fruit juices cut with still or sparkling water. Then I ask for a garnish to perk it up. In the evening I have a decaf Soy Latte after dinner.

Have fun and enjoy your vacation!

Lynda

I just went on vacation with people who we normally drink with. I drank the skinny margarita the first day and did fine. However, I felt so bad for all the wasted calories I refrained from alcohol the rest of the trip. Instead I had margarita flavored crystal light. That worked for me. If you have trouble stopping you should tell the people you are with that you shouldn't be drinking after surgery and they will help you stay on track. That's if they know and assuming they are supportive. You can still have a good time without alcohol. Try to get into that mind set. Keep in mind you did this for your future self, don't sabotage the future for drinking.