I'm not sure where to post this, but I am hoping I chose the right forum!!

I have been heavy all my life. I remember I was the bigger 'kid' in all of my elementary classes and I just wanted to be 'skinny' like the other girls. At one point in time I remember one summer my mom had me try Slim Fast. Back in the day it was NASTY!!!! That didn't last long with me. But, then again I grew up on a farm where it was meat, potato, veggie, bread and dessert every night. When I graduated high school I believe I was around 230 lbs then. It sucked, I tried everything I could, but I just started to gain weight. So fast forward a few years. I met my ex husband late 2002. I weighed 270 lbs at the time we met and was actually losing weight (I had started taking Metformin for my Insulin Resistance) but, I started to gain a little at a time and couldn't figure it out. On the day I got married (4 yrs after we met) I weight 335 lbs I believe. But, I tried to lose weight, joined WW and well didn't have his support so that was an epic fail. What I didn't realize the entire time I was with him was I was stress eating. I hit my all time high 354 lbs. And, my marriage became abusive. He was not only physically abusive, he was mentally, emotionally, and verbally abusive. I lost all self confidence. To this day if someone calls me beautiful, I just cringe and tell them whatever I don't believe them. I mean, it has gotten a little better, but all the emotional scars will never heal.

Why surgery? Will it fix my outside looks and my screwed up mind? No, but I want a healthier life. And ok, I don't want to lie, it would be nice to accidently run into the ex and say HA HA HA!! But, I try to avoid him (pretty successful in the last 4 yrs!). I want to be able to be around for my future nieces and nephews. I want to be around to help my parents as they get older (I'm the closest one out of the 3 of us) and I want to be able to get the bike out of my shed and go on bike rides in the evenings or run a 5K every now and then. But, I want to get off the medication as well!

I look forward to meeting new friends on here and having the support of each and every one of you!! I know I have my family, but it's comforting to have 'friends' that have been through it!

God bless you Honey! You have been through so much!! We are here for you through this amazing and wonderful journey to a better and healthier life. You are doing this all for the right reasons. Best of luck and use this forum for good advice and support!