This site has been my main source of support since before I had my surgery on June 20, 2012. So far, I have lost 88 pounds, and I'm thrilled with the results. I have not had a terribly difficult time, but it has definitely been work. I am watching what I'm eating, and I am working out regularly. Overall, happy with the surgery so far.

I wanted to lose weight for myself, and my health, yes. I have a husband, and three small children who need me. A secondary reason that I wanted to lose weight was that my mother had cancer and was very worried about my high weight. So I am thankful that my mother has seen me lose weight, and is also happy with my loss.

My mother is now dying. Hospice is coming on Monday to meet with our family. My main coping mechanism has always been eating. I don't drink, I haven't smoked in 8 years. Now, I have not been eating to cope with stresses. My workouts have been helpful, especially my yoga routine.

So why am I posting this? I guess mostly because as I said, this site has been my main source of support for a year. I am distraught, and heartbroken and needed to put this out there. My family is extremely close. This loss will be devastating. I talk to my mom three or four times a day, and get together with her every weekend.

How are you coping with life's stressors? How are you coping with the big stresses of life? Any tips, help, or advice would be appreciated.

I lost my mom from cancer in 1993. I was only 21 yrs old. To me it was the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life. Go and be with her every minute of everyday if you can. The hardest thing I learned at that time is they never come back.

Funny how perspective changes everything. This part of your post jumps out at me now. For some reason I didn't fully grasp "never coming back." Now I do.

So sorry

When my brother passed away from cancer I realized when it hurts it means he lived a good life.. A life where he was so loved and gave that love in return. I wouldn't hurt if he wasn't an important part of my happy life. My hurt and heartache is a small price to pay for having the opportunity to have him in my life. I hope you understand this comment as being as remarkable as I did a couple years ago

So sorry

When my brother passed away from cancer I realized when it hurts it means he lived a good life.. A life where he was so loved and gave that love in return. I wouldn't hurt if he wasn't an important part of my happy life. My hurt and heartache is a small price to pay for having the opportunity to have him in my life. I hope you understand this comment as being as remarkable as I did a couple years ago

Thanks. That IS TRUE. Tonight I was eating and eating.... I am afraid of this slippery slope!

Did she do any volunteer work? or have any special causes she supported? Perhaps you could pick up her good work in some way, instead of using food to drown your sorrow... that would have made her very happy. I know how hard it is to put down the fork when it is temporarily numbing the pain... perhaps planning lots of not too dangerous treats for your days for a while... stack them up in the fridge for easy access... and write down everything you eat, even if you really would rather not. It does help and when you can pull in the reigns, you will.

I lost my younger sis/BFF to breast cancer 6 years ago. It was devastating and cam just a few years after losing our beloved mother.

I don't have any wisdom to share as it still hurts me deeply except to suggest that you can best honor her memory by remembering how supportive she was of your weight loss and how much she wants you to care for yourself. Honor her by caring for yourself now.

I am so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself as grieve the loss of your beloved mother - treat yourself like you know she would want. hugs.

Praying for you

Thank you... I am having a hard time with will power, I must admit...

It is very hard to rely solely on will power... take the time to prepare, or ask someone to do it for you...... healthy single serving snacks, single serving frozen meals, bottles of water in the fridge, Whatever it is that makes your life a little easier. Best of luck, these times are so hard.

I'm so sorry for your loss, our moms leave such a huge gap in our lives when they're gone, especially if you were blessed enough to have been really close to her.

Be as patient and kind to yourself as you can. Maybe you can think of some little things you'll find comforting - music you enjoy, a hot bath, a cup of tea, a walk if the weather's nice. Food has been a coping mechanism for me as well, and at two years post-op I'm struggling with bad habits again, so I do understand. I think it's easier to replace rather than resist an unproductive coping mechanism if you can.

Hugs,

Beth