Has anyone seen a difference in your relationship for the negative after surgery? For me I dnt feel like the same person anymore.. but feel selfish for it.

With my first lapband I lost 100lbs and felt like a completely different person with different interests. My first marriage suffered for it. I was eager to get out and enjoy life since I felt so much better, but he was content to sit at home and missed me sitting with him eating on the couch. Our marriage eventually ended, and while I certainly don't blame my weight loss, I can't deny that it was a factor. He wanted the old me and I loved the new healthy me.

I had a bit of a roller coaster weight story, and am now back up to just shy of my peak weight. But this time, I don't fear it effecting my marriage (my 2nd marriage). When I met my current husband, I had already lost a bunch of weight and knew how I wanted to live. I find myself lacking the energy to do that these days, but I know it's what I want and that is what he wants for me.

I think it all comes down to how solid your marriage is to start with and how supportive your spouse is. Of course there are issues with being noticed in ways you weren't before, but I found those to have little to no effect on my marriage, even though they're a nice flattering change. For me, having my partner involved and wanting that active life with me only encourages me and my weight loss can only strengthen our marriage. And I just didn't have that situation at all with my first husband.

Keep your communication open and express your fears. The best way to deal with fears in your marriage is to talk about them with your husband. Good luck!

I now re-read and realize you never said "married" or "husband" lol but I think the same logic applies to a relationship outside of marriage as well.