Ok time for my rant and rave! While it's almost a joke now days to bring up the topic of "fatism", or weight based discrimination, undoubtedly it's very real in today's society.

I mean how many studies do we need done to prove it exists? For example one study I read showed elementary aged student outlines of children with various body sizes and asked them to write words inside about what they thought it meant. The top three words for the fat child outline was lazy, ugly, and dumb. How about those late night specials in which a thin woman goes out into society and is treated nicely, gets people running to help her when she needs it, and is accepted and then when she dons the fat suit suddenly help can't be found and people constantly shoot her disgusted looks. Didn't Tyra Banks do it for her show and literally broke down crying at the reaction she got? I think it was a shock for her to discover the level of societal rejection that some people have to put up with EVERY SINGLE DAY!

To put a personal spin on it today my fiancé who is overweight came home and began weeping on my chest after an incident with her ex-military nursing teacher. They were doing a project called team leading in which the nursing students completely take over a section of the hospital. They must do everything on their own unless it's something that they can't or aren't allowed to handle as LVNs. That means unless it's big no help from the workers for anything. While my fiancé was bathing a patient who could not be left alone, he had 5 tubes in his chest and was very sick, a RN on the staff discharged an unruly patient of my fiancés improperly. While he had orders to be released my fiancé should have done it, but he was such a jerk the RN did it without waiting for her.

When my fiancé went to turn in her papers for the day the teacher asked her why she hadn't taken any vitals, which is something the students must do, for that discharged patient. She replied that the RN had done it without asking her. At this point the teacher cuts off her story about the patient who needed a bath and could not be left alone to discharge another telling her, "What were you too busy sitting on your butt in the computer room? I don't care about your excuses!" She then punished my fiancé for her "failure to pay attention" by removing assignments from her homework notebook which means that assignments that she turned in will have to be completed again!

That ignorant bigoted piece of despicable human filth! I have no doubt that she assumed that because my fiancé is overweight that surely she was being lazy when a patient didn't get discharged right away. It's disgusting that people like her can get away with blatant discrimination. I recommended a letter to the Dean in protest but my fiancé insists that the principal refuses to deal with any issues inside the LVN program and defers to the head of the program who just happens to be our wonderful bigot.

Some people just make my blood boil with the way they treat others based on their appearance! Has anyone else had to deal with this kind of stuff? I sure there are a few of you out there.

There's got to be a way that your Fiancé can find out if things like this have happened to other students. I think that if she could bring a case that actually looked like discrimination against multiple people, the Dean would have to do something about it...

Maybe a few well placed "weight discrimintation" pamphlets, and a phone call to return to her attorney!!

I am sorry your fiance is going through this, it is all too common place. I know where she is, being unsure of what can or would be done, it may just make it worse for her. I am glad for her she has someone to support her as you seem to be doing.

Now...the man/woman thing. There is a chance, that just being able to tell you and get it off her chest is all she needed. That is the woman way of handling things. In steps you the man and wants to "fix" it. Which is perfectly normal, and understandable, which is the mans way of handling things. My DH and I have had these issues for years. He felt like if I talked to him about it, I wanted him to do something about it....I didn't. I may have wished things were different, but I just needed his love and support, not him to step up and fix it for me. I know this is a HUGE generalization. It just felt very familiar to me!! On the bright side, as frustrating as it is all around, his attitude made me feel very loved and cherished, and I am sure your fiance feels the same. Hang in there, and listen all you can, and you both can come here to vent.

I would suggest she ask around to any other students of size and see if they have had any issues they feel are related to that size. There may be more than she realizes, and if so her case just changed!!!

Good Luck to both of you!!

Kat

I remember when I was in college, a few years ago, one of the phys ed instruc tors made a comment about how in today's society discrimination isn't tolerated except in one situation. Weight Discrimination is the only acceptable type of discrimination in America today. And I believe that. No one would come to your defense if someone called you fat or laughed at you or made a rude comment. But people would be appalled if you spoke badly of someone in a racial, religious or political sense.

I Agree Ralheight. My Own Family Does It! My Uncle Was Standing Near Me And My Son. My Son Came To Me And Said "mommy, Billy Said You Are Too Fat". Before I Could Answer My Uncle Said "well, She Is."

I Have Needless To Say Had Little To Say To Him Since. Although In Essence He Is Correct. I Want To Teach My Son Some Sensitivity!

Turner24

Our boss told our HR lady not to hire any more fat admins! How's that for discrimination!

I have Cushing's disease, which is caused by a tumor in my pituiatry gland. IMHO, the most obvious symptom is uncontrolable weight gain, but the "central obesity" and the hump are hard to miss.

it has taken me litterally decades to get a proper diganosis, and treatment. I had at one time a large brain tumor, which died taking my of my pit with it. So, I cannot help but wonder what my life would be like if I'd gotten proper treatment. Treatment with respect, instead I was dismissed as fat and lazy, as a lier and cheater, since I couldn't possibly telling the truth about my food.

It was only after getting banded and still not losing weight that I was able to get people to treat me seriously.

And it's still been a battle.

Cushing's isn't as rare as they want you to believe, it is only rarely diagnosed because most people are fat, hormonal, lazy women. They also insist that if you don't have every single symptom, you couldn't have it, if you come back with several high test results, then it must be a fluke.

grrr

I mean how many studies do we need done to prove it exists? For example one study I read showed elementary aged student outlines of children with various body sizes and asked them to write words inside about what they thought it meant. The top three words for the fat child outline was lazy, ugly, and dumb. How about those late night specials in which a thin woman goes out into society and is treated nicely, gets people running to help her when she needs it, and is accepted and then when she dons the fat suit suddenly help can't be found and people constantly shoot her disgusted looks. Didn't Tyra Banks do it for her show and literally broke down crying at the reaction she got? I think it was a shock for her to discover the level of societal rejection that some people have to put up with EVERY SINGLE DAY!

How many of US are guilty of helping the pretty and ignoring the ugly. I have to be honest I found myself mesmerized by the pretty person because that is what I want to be. Then other times I ignore them and go to the "ugly" person.

I am tired of being the ignored or mistreated "ugly" person. I guess this is why I am so self sufficient and don't depend on anyone else. But I am tired of being self sufficient, I look forward to a helping hand without feeling like I'm being lazy.

I can't change society but I can change me and I will. WOW is this therapy or what.

I know...I was headhunted for a leading role in a musical broadway production in Australia. Anyway you know why I didn't get it? I couldn't fit into a size 12 it was for a musical about the Supremes. I missed my chance at stardom all because of my weight...darn it!

I do not mind weight discrimintation it is a reality. I object to the idea that people do not pre-judge things. It is the way people deal with the issues of discrimintation.

Goverment and Law should be blind, people are not. We are all "one human family" as the gays like to say. I agree with that.

Being Fat, White, Redneck, Cheap, etc. are discriptions that fit. In dealing with others I try to take each one as a person first. I interact better with people that I might pre-judge than those that have shown themselve to deserve less respect. I try to start everone at 100% and they can go up or down on my scale. I reserve the right to rate everyone on my terms, as they should do the same to me.

I am sometimes forced to review my judgement and make my own mistakes known. What the heck, that is human.

Wow, where do I start?? I have been overweight my entire life and have been discriminated against my entire life. The way I am treated definately depends on my weight at the time. I can't even begin to tell you how I was treated when I weighed 360 lbs, my all time high. It is still painful now to think of some of the things I went through. Now I guess I am socially acceptable and shock, horror!:omg: !! even considered somewhat attractive because I hover around a size 16/18 and am not a 'freak' anymore. As much as I enjoy being treated like a 'normal' person now, there is a definate bitterness and resentment for it which I know I will carry for the rest of my life. One of the things which means the most to me in my heart is that my husband married me before I had my surgery. It truly is the last prejudice accepted in today's society.

To my knowledge I have not ever lost an opportunity due to my weight, but I find it highly unlikely that I would know about a loss like that. People tend to hide that kind of thing.

But I have been publically embarrassed on more than one occassion. Another thing that I have noticed over the years is that I may not hear someone talking about me and my fatness, but I have heard some horrible things they have said about other fat people... and then I have internalized those messages to somehow apply to me.

When I was in school I worked part time in an office. One time I brought in a big bowl of salad as an attempt to diet. I figured, hey, I am going to eat a lot but it will be a salad. One of the girls in the break room asked me if I really could eat all of that salad. She was sitting with a group of other girls and they all laughed at me. At the time I made a snotty comment back and acted like I didn't care and ate the whole salad anyway. But the fact that I even remember it makes me realize how much it affected me. And to this day I try not to eat a lot in front of other people I don't know very well because I feel like they are going to talk about me later.

I am always embarrassed if I get food or coffee on my clothes when I am working. I always think that other people must think I am stuffing myself and being a pig as opposed to having something accidental happen that happens to everyone. The reason for this is because at one place where I worked, everyone used to talk about this fat girl who always had food on her shirt. No one ever said anything to her face, but when she wasn't around they roasted her.

One of the worst things that ever happened to me as a fat person while shopping was at the Limited. I picked up a shirt that definitely looked too small but I thought it was a stretchy shirt that goes under other shirts and I went back to try it on. The dressing room attendant literally says as loudly as possible without yelling, "THIS IS AN EXTRA SMALL. I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TRY IT ON BECAUSE IT MAY RUIN THE SHIRT. YOU NEED A DIFFERENT SIZE. WHAT IS YOUR REAL SIZE? THIS ISN'T A PLUS SIZE STORE. DO YOU WEAR A PLUS SIZE?" I swear I thought I was going to DIE. It really was a very small shirt and of course she was right, it never would have fit me. I remember meekly apologizing and giving her the shirt. Normally I am not the nice quiet fat person but the mean fat biotch. But it was such a surreal experience and I was so shocked.

Another thing that I notice is a fat person, is that fat famous people, even if they lose weight, are still fair game for people to make fun of them. Like people can't imagine that someone would ever be attracted to Star Jones and she apparently is not allowed to ever be attractive whether she is fat or thin. It is like once you are fat and famous you are not even a human being. I tend to internalize these messages also, even if I try not to.

I am an intelligent, educated, attractive, active, confident fat woman. But the amount of hatred in our society for fat people is really hard not to absorb... even if it isn't directed at me personally.

This is a good topic for me right now. I have been over wt for about 7 yrs. Never have I really felt ( or noticed is probably more accurate) discrimination or even looks about my weight until recently . I can not get health insurance because of my weight. On top of the fact I have migraines. But its my weight. I have gotten private health insurance with migraines so its my weight.

I was in tears a few days go because i got yet another rejection letter .

Even though here i set 30 days or less before surgery , it hurts . HOnestly i do not know how the insurance company gets away with this. Its wt discrimination. Not only that but they TELL YOU they are deniying you because of your wt. My ONLY Option now is something called the Texas High Risk Health Pool. Its going to cost me $250 a month for a $5000 dedcutible for a PPO policy . Thats what im paying for my husband and my 2 boys . Its NUTS.

Mindy

I always and will always be very friendly and helpful to overweight people. To me food addiction is just like any other addiction. I know how it is to be ignored when you are heavy. We are treated rudely and like a non person. It is hard not to want to mention the band to every heavy person I see. If the subject comes up I spill. I am glad you are so much support to your girl.

I wonder sometimes what it takes for some of those really skinny women to stay so skinny. Who knows what goes on behind their closed doors.

Not a skinny hater either,

edie

I can remember reading about the Cosby show when it first began. Bill Cosby had hired a psychologist to be on staff to check for sexism and racism in the scripts and acting, which I thought was pretty cool.

However, one episode was about a birthday party that the little child was having, with a number of friends over, and during the course of it they all wanted "horsey rides" on Cosby's leg. When it came to the little fat boy doing it there was much eye rolling and grimacing on Cosby's part. I felt bad for the portrayal and I also felt bad for the child actor himself.

I thought he was such a hypocrite. I was never able to enjoy the show after that.

Devana -- I remember that episode. I also remember laughing at it. You just made me feel bad. I never even though about how the chubby boy must have felt. I just remember Cos hamming it up, and the boy laughing. he was the silent kid who used to run out of the house, right? heheheh

I don't know if I've ever been weight discriminated against. I probably have, especially when it comes to personal preference (dates). I'm confident, outspoken, intelligent, successful, beautiful and have a great personality. I've never been denied a job or failed to get what I wanted (even men) because I'm fat.

I was embarrassed getting on a ride at Six Flags, because they had to get 2 men to muscle the cage shut due to my big ass. I haven't been back. That is one of my goals for next summer - get on that ride and snap the latch without needing assistance from 2 brawny guys. But even then it was embarrassing, but not cripplingly so.

I have always been outspoken, I have always been one to stand up for myself. I call people out on their bullshit. To the woman whose uncle said "Well she is." I would have said, "And you're an idiot" or something equally biting. (e.g., "And you're an alcoholic," "Your wife is a whore," "Suck my dick") I don't take it - maybe that makes me an angry fat woman, but I am quick to remind people that they are no better than anyone else. I don't internalize put downs, and I don't take them lying down either.

I never understood why so many fat people are voiceless and feel worthless because of their size. Stop thinking that way! Speak up for yourselves. Don't accept that second-hand treatment. Fight back. We may be heavy, but we're just as good, just as smart, just as worthy, and have just as much right to be as anyone else. To believe otherwise is practicing weight discrimination on yourself.