Okay... I have an internal struggle that I just want to throw on the table and see if I'm alone in this or if others have been down this road... If you have any thoughts or comments, feel free to share.

So I'm scheduled for my surgery on the 26th. I am 5 lbs BELOW my surgery goal weight that was set by my surgeon. I do not have a pre-op diet due to that fact. The day before surgery I am to have liquids only, and that's about the extent of my "pre-op diet".

Anywho... I have been so strict on my diet and exercise routine for the past couple of months to meet my surgery criteria, however, as surgery approaches and the days are going by quicker... I'm finding myself in a bit of a panic mode. Not because of the surgery itself, but because I have there bursts of realization that this is THE last week of my life that I will EVER have the chance to eat like a FAT GIRL!!! I KNOW that I will be able to have bites of the food I love down the road (way down the road) but I am not going to let myself go there. Those small bites are how I got to where I am today. I once was a healthy, slim, physically active girl. So I know how it's possible to flip that switch in a seconds time.

My delema is... To pig out or not to pig out. I have about 5 lbs "play room" in my weight with a week to go.

Now... I have part of my brain SCREAMING at me "ARE YOU F'N SERIOUS!?!?" Because I've put so much work into this already, and it IS about making a FOREVER life style change! Then I have the other side of my brain, saying "Do it, it's your last shot at it, and your having surgery anyway..." I guess I feel guilty for even having this discussion an these thoughts...

Feed back... Please.

Side note, please don't be too harsh on me. I haven't commuted a crime.... Yet.

I had the same dilemma, so I allowed myself my failure meal instead of a full blown binge session. But you know what I couldn't go pass a few bites be cuz it just didn't feel good. I saw all that hard work was being defeated. So I stopped and walk away. Your right it's a mind game. And you r alot stronger than u think.

I had the same dilemma' date=' so I allowed myself my failure meal instead of a full blown binge session. But you know what I couldn't go pass a few bites be cuz it just didn't feel good. I saw all that hard work was being defeated. So I stopped and walk away. Your right it's a mind game. And you r alot stronger than u think.[/quote']

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!

I think I would be the same way if I sat down to eat the meal(s) I'm referring to. I don't think I would be able to take more than a few bites. As it is my appetite has decreased so much over the past couple of months, I wouldn't be able to stomach much.

I went on a binge a month pre op, i lost my weight and got my date 3 weeks out. since i know you have kaiser as well, so do i, my surgeon said stop eating 6pm the day before. my last meal: grilled cheese and small pink lemonade from in n out. i think fondly to my grilled cheese at times. Getting the actual date really made me commit as i was pretty flakey with my diet before that.

I sometimes mourn my old big portion sizes. Not that I don't enjoy the sleeve or my current portion size, it's hard when you go out to eat and you have a few bites of the entree and that's it. I'll never regret it, but at the end of the day, the sleeve has changed my life forever and eventually, I won't be a slave to food anymore

I went through the same thing a month before my surgery (I was sleeved on 1/28) and I met with my surgeon 10 days before. He said it was a true and normal medical condition called "last supper syndrome" for me it was going through thanksgiving and Christmas knowing next year will be different. He said because I was putting so much thought into food to start my clear liquids effective immediately which meant no actual final meal. I was super sad for a really long time, but realized I can still have the foods I love. I start my soft diet tomorrow which means I can actually chew food so my brain cannot stop thinking of the possibilities and it is hard to explain but just feels different than before. So my advise is to do what you feel is comfortable and just know food will be still be there afterward. good luck!!

I went on a binge a month pre op' date=' i lost my weight and got my date 3 weeks out. since i know you have kaiser as well, so do i, my surgeon said stop eating 6pm the day before. my last meal: grilled cheese and small pink lemonade from in n out. i think fondly to my grilled cheese at times. Getting the actual date really made me commit as i was pretty flakey with my diet before that.

I sometimes mourn my old big portion sizes. Not that I don't enjoy the sleeve or my current portion size, it's hard when you go out to eat and you have a few bites of the entree and that's it. I'll never regret it, but at the end of the day, the sleeve has changed my life forever and eventually, I won't be a slave to food anymore[/quote']

Thank you for sharing that. It's so nice to hear of other people that have experienced this same struggle.

I totally understand what you are thinking. I feel like I have room to play with too and I go to just clear liquids on Monday for Tuesday surgery. Honestly, I'm going to let myself have a small piece of chicken tonight and a salad. Just a small plate for dinner. I would be way too scared to do a fat girl pig out (I know that term so well!! I bet we would've had fun together!) because I'm afraid carbs and stuff will show up in my liver or make it slippery and hard to work with or something and close me up without doing the surgery. Don't do anything extreme!

I totally understand what you are thinking. I feel like I have room to play with too and I go to just clear liquids on Monday for Tuesday surgery. Honestly' date=' I'm going to let myself have a small piece of chicken tonight and a salad. Just a small plate for dinner. I would be way too scared to do a fat girl pig out (I know that term so well!! I bet we would've had fun together!) because I'm afraid carbs and stuff will show up in my liver or make it slippery and hard to work with or something and close me up without doing the surgery. Don't do anything extreme![/quote']

No Fat Girl pig out session for me! I'm sticking to my guns! I've come too far to waste it now.

Nope you are not being dramatic. You know you. This is a huge transition and it makes most of us face some hard truths about ourselves and it gives us the gift of a " do over.". It has been truly amazing so far and i just cant wait to experience the next year ahead! Try to enjoy the ride and not overanalyze too much! Good luck.

I didnt have to do a preop diet either a.d i too had a farewell to food tour. I didnt get to half the places I wa.ted.