To pick up a few extra hours for Christmas, I worked in a department that I do not work in on my normal work days. Soooo of course I am a new face and to make time pass, this young gentleman and I started chatting about any and everything. Well into the conversation, he makes the comment.. "you have a cute face." Moving on to the next day, an older gentleman from the same department tells me "you have a really pretty face" and since then every time he sees me he calls me "lady with the pretty face."

Now to get on to my rant...hehe Why can't people just compliment you, instead of specifying what exactly they are complimenting. For me, instead of hearing the supposed compliment, I hear an insult as well. I know I am not the only one that have experienced this.

What are some compliments/ insults that you received while you were bigger that could have been taken as an insult? I will list a few.

They say.... I hear(interpret)....

You have a pretty face. Your body is busted.

You dress nice, considering your size.

I interpret: Big people cannot dress.

Did HE just try and talk to your?

I interpret: Why isn't he interested in me, I'm smaller?

Girl, you better take what you can get!

I interpret: Being big makes me not have a preference??

Comments like this you will never forget. My own father told me when I was 15 y/o that I would be so pretty if I would lose 10#. ( I was 20# overweight according to the weight chart...my BMI was 21% according to biometrical impedance tests which is normal wt.) What did that equate to a teenager? You're butt ugly...Worthless. Since that day....never once have I thought I was pretty. Cleaned up, dressed nicely, makeup on..yes...pretty nope..not even on my wedding day..I looked into a mirror once. Family portraits..good luck finding one in my house..I hate pictures of myself. Now that I am older, wiser, and married..blah, blah, blah....I still think I am ugly. Oh well...ugly and thinner is better than ugly and sick from being obese.

It saddens me that you feel that way and had to experience that....you are VERY beautiful. But I know that even though you may receive plenty of compliments it does not change how you feel and see yourself. The culprit are the comments you receive at a very early age from your father. Have you thought about going to counseling to help you deal with the way you see yourself?

I understand what you are saying, however, my most recent stranger conversation was. "Wow, you shouldn't eat that, your really fat!" So i think the latter is better. Just my 2 cents.

It saddens me that you feel that way and had to experience that....you are VERY beautiful. But I know that even though you may receive plenty of compliments it does not change how you feel and see yourself. The culprit are the comments you receive at a very early age from your father. Have you thought about going to counseling to help you deal with the way you see yourself?

No honestly I haven't because I just accepted what I am...my mom, my aunt, and my cousin were all beauty queens..two of them cheerleaders.....my brother was very popular and handsome...I however was the "smart" one. I am used to that role. When I look at the lives my family leads...beauty isn't everything...I think out of all of them...I have the happiest marriage, home, the list goes on...so what my dad did hurt...did it shape my life...yes...but I am not sure that it didn't shape it for the better. I never focused on my looks because I can't fix how I look..so I live with it...I have been blessed so many other ways...

I understand what you are saying' date=' however, my most recent stranger conversation was. "Wow, you shouldn't eat that, your really fat!" So i think the latter is better. Just my 2 cents. [/quote']

Are you for real?? I would have had to look at that person and say " do the world a favor and pull your lip over your head and swallow!" Wow... The balls soe people have is astounding!!!!

Well' date=' I can see that I stepped right into it didn't I.

When I say to a woman YOU HAVE A PRETTY FACE, it MEANS that she has a pretty face. I typically have no other meaning other than the fact that I know I CANNOT venture past that, doing so may jeopardize my job, my marriage and my legal standing.

Why not just take it for what it was, a compliment. Yes ladies, we ARE that shallow.[/quote']

I have to agree here...most of us guys are too busy keeping sports stats and auto maintenance details in our head to bother with trying to disguise an insult as a compliment. Usually when we say something, like you have a pretty face, it means exactly that and nothing more. We are shallow and simple, but happy.

I am so glad I am old :-) I really do get more respect than I used to and no one "hits" on me.