:cry Has anyone else felt as though they were grieving at the loss of not being able to eat those old comfort foods?

I'm struggling a little bit and have unfortunately taken it out on my husband. He wants to take friends out to dinner and do things like that and after trying it once and puking each time I tried to even eat macaroni salad I said "no more".

I feel sad a lot and athough am thankful for the surgery and the weight loss am still missing being able to have a pbj sandwich.

I don't think I really faced the fact of exactly how much "comfort" eating I was really doing. My body has the band but now my mind needs it as well.

Any tips?

Thanks, your fellow bander in Oregon.

banded 12/6/05

Dear Lady...

My doctor warns all his pre-ops that they will grieve like their best friend died, once they are banded. I didn't, but I know lots of others who have. The best way to get over it is to start losing! Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.

When you go out to dinner (and you SHOULD), don't order anything "iffy" (like macaroni salad). Stick to what you know you can eat. Have a bowl of Soup, for example. Dinner with friends isn't about the food, after all....it's about the camaraderie.

I used to be the queen of carbs. I loved bread. I could make a meal off bread alone (and often did). Sometimes, when I smell bread baking, I miss it. But since I physically can't eat it, it's a non-issue. Same with late night Snacks. I used to get out of bed, take a book to the couch, and stop on the way to raid the fridge/pantry. Now I can't eat after 8 PM or I will have major reflux.

Keep thinking about your goal.

food has been your companion, but not your friend. More accurately, food has been your acquaintance, but not your friend.

You need to find a replacement for Mr. food, your illegitimate lover.

Exercise can take your mind off food.

Writing to your family on the PC or hand-written letters can help.

Do almost anything accept surround yourself with food advertisements like on TV.

Read a book in the park. Don't bring any money with you, so that you will not be tempted.

Go to a forum and debate world issues. You'll get so angry that you will forget about eating and Mr. Food.

:sad_smile:I too am depressed, I am 5 weeks post op and I feel as though something big is missing in my life. It seems as though everything is focused or planned around food. I'm not sure how to fill this void in a healthy way, I've heard of people who become alchoholics and drug abusers. I know this will not happen to me because i've never had an urge of this kind. I do know i have become a nail biter for the first time in my life. any reply would be so appreciated. good luck to all vicki:sad:

My friend had LB at the end of March, and had warned me about the depression. She sufferred very badly, and I knew I would too. My personal solution may be stupid, but it's mostly working for me.

Before the surgery, I had made peace with the fact any post-op pain, and mental hunger was a form of penance. I know there are those that might view this as being too harsh on myself, but in my heart, that's what it feels like.

I'm doing penance for eating when I wasn't really hungry, eating HUGE portions to the point of sickness, and never getting any exercise. I'm doing penance for crazy, unhealthy "diets" I've tried hoping for a quick fix without having to make any real changes. I'm doing penance for lying to myself about how much I was really eating. I'm about 168lbs overweight. That means I had to eat an additional 588,000 calories to gain that. That's alot of food!

I have remained calm, and focused. I've only had a few pity-party moments, but I remind myself that this is it. I want this lb, I need this lb, and I have to do my part.

I also realize, that I will be able to occasionly have my comfort foods. I just can't live on them. Frankly, they haven't brought me that much comfort.

I'm still recovering at home, I'm only 7 days post-op. I can feel the mental change already. I can now actually watch a food commercial now (HOW CAN YOU AVOID IT? MY GOD, FOOD,FOOD,FOOD! ) LOL

I hope you find what works for you. I know first hand how difficult this is.

:thumbup:

Honestly, you will be able to eat more things as you get farther away from surgery. I wish I wasn't able to eat anything I want sometimes, but for the most part, I have no problem foods. I eat whatever I want, in small portions. I choose not to have bread, but I can eat it. I can eat half a jr. whooper. On the 3 occasions that I have gone to Bking to get one, I ate half, shopped in Walmart (it's in walmart's parking lot) and came back to the car and ate the other half.

You can eat a pb and J. if you can't eat it on bread, you'll be able to eat it on toast. Just not right away!

You know, I've experienced some depression after my surgery. Kind of like I was grieving the loss of an old friend {food}. There are a lot of places I don't go to eat because I can't tolerate the food. Buffets are out of the question, of course, and even though there are foods out there that I can "legally" consume, I can't/don't because I'll get sick, and I HATE throwing up! :confused_smile:I can't tolerate peanut butter, and I have to be very careful about what kind of meats I eat. Fried foods {French fries, etc. make me sick}, although I think this might be more related to gall bladder problems than anything. One of the things that "got" me was that 10 days after my surgery, on February 6th, 2008, our church had a catered {steak} dinner for Valentine's Day. That was tough, but I spent that time in the nursery with our pastor's infant daughter. ANYWAY, it's been tough at times, but the results {so far-70 pounds} has been worth it. I'm still adjusting my mindset from "all-I-can-eat" to what I refer to as the "LapBand way of eating. I can cross my legs, walk without losing my breath, sleep on my back without experiencing the sensation of suffocation. My 10 year-old grand-daughter can put her arms all the way around me when she hugs me.:thumbup: I can almost get a bath towel completely around my body. I have a lap! :biggrin2:I've lost a shoe size. I can go on and on, but, as I said, the rewards are so worth it. I can, and will get over my depression concerning the loss of a lifestyle that was on its way to killing me, or seriously incapacitating me before I reached 50. {I'll be 46 next month}.

I have also experienced depression post-op. According to the PA at my surgeon's office, estrogen is stored in fat cells, so as you lose (especially rapidly like we tend to at first), your body gets flooded with estrogen, which can make you more emotional. If you are experiencing any menopause symptoms prior to surgery, it can be even worse for you. Currently, I am taking 75mg of Effexor a day and according to DH, I am "a different person". If it takes that in order to make me tolerable to live with while I'm on my way down, so be it.

Good luck and I hope you get to feeling better soon!!

I have also experienced depression post-op. According to the PA at my surgeon's office, estrogen is stored in fat cells, so as you lose (especially rapidly like we tend to at first), your body gets flooded with estrogen, which can make you more emotional. If you are experiencing any menopause symptoms prior to surgery, it can be even worse for you. Currently, I am taking 75mg of Effexor a day and according to DH, I am "a different person". If it takes that in order to make me tolerable to live with while I'm on my way down, so be it.

Good luck and I hope you get to feeling better soon!!

You know, that makes a lot of sense!:ohmy:I'll be 46 next month. I am peri-menopausal, and rather than have a hysterectomy, I underwent an endometrial ablation. Wow!:thumbup: Such WELCOMED relief! Haven't bought "the goods" for about 16 months now. {Sorry! I went off chasing rabbits there.} I wasn't aware of the estrogen/fat cell connection, but it does make sense. I've lost roughly 70 pounds since I started the LapBand process. Yeah, it makes A LOT of sense. Currently, I am taking Cymbalta 30mg/day, and I really don't seem to feel any different than I did before I went on it. I think I'll check up on Efffexor. Checking up on it couldn't hurt, right? Thanks again!

You know, that makes a lot of sense!:ohmy:I'll be 46 next month. I am peri-menopausal, and rather than have a hysterectomy, I underwent an endometrial ablation. Wow!:sneaky: Such WELCOMED relief! Haven't bought "the goods" for about 16 months now. {Sorry! I went off chasing rabbits there.} I wasn't aware of the estrogen/fat cell connection, but it does make sense. I've lost roughly 70 pounds since I started the LapBand process. Yeah, it makes A LOT of sense. Currently, I am taking Cymbalta 30mg/day, and I really don't seem to feel any different than I did before I went on it. I think I'll check up on Efffexor. Checking up on it couldn't hurt, right? Thanks again!

Glad I could help! If your current medication isn't working, you should definitely discuss it with your doctor. Finding the appropriate medication and dosage level is a trial and error process you should work through together. The only reason it was easy for me this time is because I had to go on something after my hysterectomy 2 years ago and it took 3 tries to settle on something then! Now my surgeon tells me because it has been 2 years since the hysterectomy, I could very well be going into early menopause even though they left an ovary. :thumbup: Just what a 38 y/o wants to hear!!:thumbup: Good luck!! If you have any questions or want to chat, feel free to PM me.

I didn't suffer depression, but I was bored. I just didn't know what else to do that wasn't associated with food; it was challenging to identify other things to do to occupy myself. Suggestions similar to those of Jack's and Tired Old Men posted above were helpful.

I guess I am ahead of this Depression curve, being fat and other dysfunctional family type issues has already made me depressed. I have been on anti-depressants for about a year and a half and I gotta tell you, they are partly the reason that I could pull my head out of my you know what and pursue getting the surgery done! If you really feel you need it, there is no shame in taking this issue up with your family Doctor. Mine has been very surpportive in monitering my depression and the medication helps me function without dragging myself around feeling awful and having a lot of negative thoughts.

KIM

You know, that makes a lot of sense!:ohmy:I'll be 46 next month. I am peri-menopausal, and rather than have a hysterectomy, I underwent an endometrial ablation. Wow!:cursing: Such WELCOMED relief! Haven't bought "the goods" for about 16 months now. {Sorry! I went off chasing rabbits there.} I wasn't aware of the estrogen/fat cell connection, but it does make sense. I've lost roughly 70 pounds since I started the LapBand process. Yeah, it makes A LOT of sense. Currently, I am taking Cymbalta 30mg/day, and I really don't seem to feel any different than I did before I went on it. I think I'll check up on Efffexor. Checking up on it couldn't hurt, right? Thanks again!

Wow, I'm so glad I found someone elso who had endometrial ablation, I had it in March 07, and didn't bleed for a year, then in April 08, It came back and it has gotten heavier ever month, but not as bad as pre-op. however, it lasts for about 3 weeks then gone for 1 just like i have a normal cycle but lasts 2 weeks too long. I am going to be 52 in november, you would think someone would cut me a break huh?