Pre-Op Depression.
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Today I had my second of three monthly required NUT visits. Another month to go and all my requirements will be completed, hoping for an oct surgery date. Problem is that it feels like it will never happen. I gained 2 pounds in the last month because of vacation and i just feel terrible. I went to the mall with my kids and saw my reflection. I look like a fat old lady. I was shapely once, could turn a head or two. Now I get giggles as teen girls get a load of my ridiculous rump. I have stopped socializing, having my picture taken, and even my mother (who is overweight herself) can't seem to shut up about how much weight I have gained. It has been uphill battle for all my life. Until 15 years ago, i kept it in check with diet pills and running 2-5 miles a day. Then my last marriage started falling apart, I became overweight, and my then husband would call me fat and disgusting...I was no longer his trophy wife. i met the man who loves me for who I am and he has supported me through atkins, and medifast, and southbeach, weight watchers, you name it, I failed it. After all these failures, I am so afraid some glitch will happen. My insurance will deny, something will happen to prevent this from happening. I know I am rambling, I am sorry. i just feel like I have been such a failure,