What do you do when things have changed ?

I've been married 9 months now 6 months ago I had my surgery. I've lost almost 90lbs I've changed and my wife has changed. Now she's 2 months pregnant. Were currently livin with her parents and I'm going out of my mind I feel trapped !!!

Are you saying you want out of the marriage or you want out of your inlaws residence?

Are you saying you want out of the marriage or you want out of your inlaws residence?

I don't know one or both...

I don't know one or both...

I love her to pieces but there's been a huge change in both of us...I try so hard to ignore the changes but it's damn hard. She became insecure, needy and motherly. And I've become someone I never was I'm getting a lot more attention then I ever had and I don't know what to do with it

Living with in-laws I can see as a big strain on a marriage. Especially a new marriage. I dont know your situation but if its to save money id say move out. I think your sanity out weighs saving money. Good luck!

If you care about your wife and unborn child you might want to think about getting some personal/family counseling RIGHT NOW. Since you mentioned that you were getting "attention" that you've never had before, you may be giving her vibes that you want to flirt or more outside your marriage. That and the fact that shes 2 months pregnant with YOUR child, will make her very emotional and change her personality for a while. That happens when your hormones are out of whack because you're having a baby. I don't want to sound like I'm beating up on you, but you have more important things to worry about right now than whos making eyes at you at the gym.

I love her to pieces but there's been a huge change in both of us...I try so hard to ignore the changes but it's damn hard. She became insecure, needy and motherly. And I've become someone I never was I'm getting a lot more attention then I ever had and I don't know what to do with it

Well, you two are basically still newly weds. I don't think you should look to divorce just yet. Have you tried talking to her about all the issues? Perhaps you should start there first. If need be, go to a therapist so there will be a non-biased party present. Communicate first. I do believe the both of you moving into your own space will help also. Try those two steps first!

If you care about your wife and unborn child you might want to think about getting some personal/family counseling RIGHT NOW. Since you mentioned that you were getting "attention" that you've never had before' date=' you may be giving her vibes that you want to flirt or more outside your marriage. That and the fact that shes 2 months pregnant with YOUR child, will make her very emotional and change her personality for a while. That happens when your hormones are out of whack because you're having a baby. I don't want to sound like I'm beating up on you, but you have more important things to worry about right now than whos making eyes at you at the gym.[/quote']

It's not just attention outside of us...she has been pulling away...she doesn't like the new smaller me she married me at almost 300lbs now I'm 193lbs and I don't think she likes it

Well' date=' you two are basically still newly weds. I don't think you should look to divorce just yet. Have you tried talking to her about all the issues? Perhaps you should start there first. If need be, go to a therapist so there will be a non-biased party present. Communicate first. I do believe the both of you moving into your own space will help also. Try those two steps first![/quote']

I try and talk to her but she feels as though in attacking her...she doesn't communicate well she's very condescending she fights with her father all te time and now shes speaking to me how she does to him.

I don't know I the age matters in it I just turned 33 and she's 27

There's so many emotions going crazy inside her right now, there's no way for you to really know unless you guys communicate with each other, and you cant always effectively communicate without someone to help.

There's so many emotions going crazy inside her right now' date=' there's no way for you to really know unless you guys communicate with each other, and you cant always effectively communicate without someone to help.[/quote']

You right about that...let's see how she feels about talking to someone...hope it helps

Good luck, hope it all works out for you

Good luck' date=' hope it all works out for you[/quote']

Thank you

I try and talk to her but she feels as though in attacking her...she doesn't communicate well she's very condescending she fights with her father all te time and now shes speaking to me how she does to him.

Yes. It is hard to communicate with someone when they won't open their ears and just listen to you! UGh. That is super frustrating. It sounds like she's going through her own issues that she needs to communicate to you as well. Perhaps she is feeling insecure or is a tad jealous of your new success. It really sounds that way to me. You never know how people are thinking and why they react the way they do. She definitely needs to get over the fact that you have a new body. She's missing the bigger picture here. It's not about you looking good for other women. It's about you being HEALTHY and sustaining longevity in life. After all, she does want you to be around for your unborn child right? Idk what the deal is. But, I don't think the age difference is significant enough to put a damper on the relationship. At 27, she should be mature enough to convey her feelings to her husband and vice versa. Communication is definitely lacking here. The problem is what do you do if she continues to not "hear" you? Tough one! I now see why your contemplating separation. Still, keep those thoughts aside and try your hardest to understand her feelings and get her to understand yours !

I say stick it out, get out of living with the in-laws as soon as possible, and seek some professional help from counselors. No offense to the ladies but pregnancy tends to make them..... well for lack of a better word crazy. I love my wife. We have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. There have been some ups and some downs as with any relationship but, sticking it out is important. Don't ever let anyone put you down for seeking help. We are doing it for our weight managment issues through surgery so why is getting help from a counselor any different? There are plenty of free and low cost counseling services. Remember parenting is hard. And even as fathers the parenting starts when your wife gets pregnant. For my wife it changed her during and for a year after each pregnancy. For one thing sleep becomes much harder and that can be problemlematic. Also, remember your wife is probably gaining wait, a good thing when your pregnant, but that can make them feel insecure especially if it is at a time that their spouse is losing weight and getting a lot of attention. But, think of this, if she married you at 300 she is probably going to stick with you no matter what because she loves you. I give my wife props becuase she married me as the ex football pro who weighed around 225 lbs of pure muscle. Now I have degenerated into a 370lb lazy couch potato. But, she has been through my side. Perhaps it is becuase I am getting older, I am 35, but I want someone who is going to be by my side in the good and in the tough. Just my two cents. Either way good luck and best wishes.