Well I found out tonight that my mother father and brother are all against me having my surgery which is scheduled for June 25th. However, my wonderful husband if nine years is totally behind me 100 percent. I totally want this surgery for myself and so that I can live a healthier life for my children. I know this is what I want for myself and I should not let anyone discourage me but after speaking to my dad I don't want to disappoint him or my mom, but I have prayed and prayed about this and God gave me the means for this so I'm leaving it all in his hands!!!! I am going forward with the surgery. If it wasn't ment to be he would not have given me the means to do it!!!

Any advise is totally welcome.

You need to do what you feel is right for YOU! It's great that your hubby is supportive; it sucks that your parents don't support you. However, I'm betting your folks are more worried about losing you than really intending to be negative about the surgery. If it's truly important to you to have your parents' support, then show them the statistics for death and complications and explain how low they are. I've read that you're in more danger driving every day than having the sleeve, yet we all still get in our cars daily.

Once you're post-op and doing well, I'm sure your parents will come around, even if you don't choose to show them the stats.

My father and mother were for me having the surgery until the day approached as the day approached my father became more and more leery and upset about the surgery. We did not tell my brothers. I had a hernia repair and adhesions removed and that's all they needed to know. My husband and son were for me having it. Of course both sorta waivered after I had it a little bit, because let's face facts. This is a major surgery and they all love me and worry.

After your surgery and when you start healing and they know you are okay and safe and that you are doing well, they will lighten up. Your family loves you and they just worry about the surgery aspect of it. They are afraid you will never get to eat again, or whatever, I have h ad to prove to my father that I'm okay and he's okay with it now.

Best of luck and I remember how getting the approval was such a hard thing for you. Just do me a favor go into this surgery with a positive attitude, not a bundle of nerves. Be positive, be happy, have a good song sitting in your head, and it will make after the surgery that much easier to deal with. Positive attitude goes a long way and eventually your parents will see you have done what is best for you.

Instead of my own long, wordy response, I am taking the short road out and totally agreeing with Lissa's very well written comment above.

I hope you have the strength and will power to do what is right for you, for the reasons that you believe in.

Best of luck to you, always.

Only YOU can do this for yourself. In time, your parents will come around. Right now, stay focused and be thankful for your husband's support.

Well I found out tonight that my mother father and brother are all against me having my surgery which is scheduled for June 25th. However' date=' my wonderful husband if nine years is totally behind me 100 percent. I totally want this surgery for myself and so that I can live a healthier life for my children. I know this is what I want for myself and I should not let anyone discourage me but after speaking to my dad I don't want to disappoint him or my mom, but I have prayed and prayed about this and God gave me the means for this so I'm leaving it all in his hands!!!! I am going forward with the surgery. If it wasn't ment to be he would not have given me the means to do it!!!

Any advise is totally welcome.[/quote']

My surgery is june 26. Don't worry how others think or feel. I did not let people talk me out of it. They tried. Like, you stated earlier " God gave you the means".

God will see you through. Ask God 2 take worrying out of your life. He will. Always Remember the only opinion that matters is God's, yours, and your husbands because you are one.

Stay Strong. Embrace your new body.

Ain't no stoppin us now,were on the move !!!!!!<br />Sincerely<br /> Zeta

Had breakfast with a few old time police officer buddies the other day and when I told them I was going to have the surgery, most looked at me kind of funny. Not sure if it's because they think I'm to old to do it or if they're jealous that I'm doing it. Strange conversations afterwards. A couple of them were genuinely supportive. Said I would be running "straight-pipes" after the surgery, to which we laughed. Might be able to squeeze in one more breakfast before the surgery.

Fuggidaboudem! Do what's right for YOU. You have your partners support, no go for it!

I debated answering this because of our different theological takes: I wondered if I could give input that would do anything other than contradict your beliefs. I think I can, if I strip out part of my reply, and I will do my best. Just please understand that if you find anything below offensive to your beliefs (I don't think you will) - that it is not meant to be.

• You appear to be an adult, therefore you do not need your family's permission. They don't agree with it - so what? Have they always agreed with everything you've done? Did you care? (asking rhetorically). I think the only thing about this to take too much to heart is how their lack of agreeance makes you feel. In other words, what does their disagreeance mean to you? And how might it impact you? Otherwise - let them disagree. That's what makes the world an interesting place.
  
• Don't block your family out of it. Listen to their objections, and do what you can to educate them. Educate, not convert. You can give them the information but you do not have to "win" their approval, or "be right." If you truly feel this is right for you, that's right enough.
  
• At the end of the day it's you and your DH (unless you live with your parents or brother, or have some other type of nuclear family arrangement). Is DH enough support, or will you need the support of a larger family? If you need additional support, could you find it elsewhere, e.g. friends, a support group, etc.? (again, rhetorical - just points to consider).
  

I had lapband surgery in 2006 and my mother was pretty much set in stone against it. SHe was not kind in voicing her opposition, nor was she at least thoughtful about it. My father was worried for me, but felt that if it was what I wanted, then it had to be at least a little right. DH was scared something would happen, but he has always stood beside me 100%. Know what? My mom ran out and got herself a lapband about 2 years after I got mine. My dad got his the year after. (Talk about something that has the potential to engender resentment!)

My parents were very against it too. They thought it was way too drastic a step. My mother, whos been overweight her entire life, said, "If you know you will only be able to eat 1/4 cup of something and thats going to make you lose weight, then why cant you just do that without the surgery? You dont need surgery to tell you if you eat a tiny bit you will lose weight".........WTF? I thought she totally lost her mind. Obviously, if I could eat "a tiny" by myself I would have, lol. Anyway, they both still came to our house out of state to take care of my son while I had the surgery and then I stayed 2 weeks with them at their house. After I got home and they realized I was still alive, they were much more supportive. They were just scared, which I dont blame them. You need to do whats best for you to be healthier and happier. Good luck with your journey!