Unlike some of the posters here, I don't send or receive many private messages but someone recently sent me a PM asking why I didn't defend myself when someone made a comment that could have been interpreted in a negative way. I answered the person but continued to think about the question and decided to answer it more fully and openly here.

As someone who has worked full-time as an RN in critical care for over 2 decades, I have seen my fair share of death and dying. I've also seen many people beat the odds and live. This past January, I became one of those people.

On a night off from work, I awoke at 5 AM to use the bathroom. About 10 steps in the direction of the bathroom, I felt a pain in my right calf. "Oh, a charlie horse is threatening" was my first instinct. However, upon sitting down on the "throne," I noticed that I was breathing very fast, felt faint, was diaphoretic, and couldn't get in air. It was very much the same experience as being in deep Water and needing to take a breath. The only problem was, once I got to the surface, the breath would not go in.

As an RN, I immediately knew my charlie horse was actually a deep vein thrombosis (DVT) that had broken loose from the vein in my leg and traveled to my lung. That DVT was now a pulmonary embolism (PE). I called for help and my sister came. I controlled my breathing, tried not to panic (my sister was doing enough of that), and instructed her to call an ambulance and bring back some water and 4 baby aspirin (I had taken one a day for years). Why the aspirin? I was not 100% sure I was not also experiencing a heart attack. The heart and lungs work as a unit and the effect of the PE caused my heart to beat wildly.

I managed to slowly walk to the front door and sat in a chair waiting for the ambulance to arrive. At the hospital, dopplers of my legs revealed no blood clots (DVTs). My EKG was fine and my cardiac blood tests revealed no heart attack. I now knew with 100% certainty that "they" would discover the clots that were no longer in my legs had moved to my lungs. Since I'm the one usually reading the EKG's and dealing with emergencies, I was not happy being a patient but I was too sick to dwell on it.

A ventilation/perfusion scan (V/Q), also called a lung scan, and a CT scan with contrast of my lungs revealed that I was unfortunate enough to have PE's in BOTH lungs. Over half of my right lung was non-functional and over one third of the left was non-functional. I asked for a clot busting drug. Unlike heparin and aspirin, etc., which can help to PREVENT clotting, only a clot busting drug (TPA, TNK, streptokinase) can help to dissolve a clot. I knew there was a risk that I might bleed out or suffer a stroke but the alternative was to live a life attached to oxygen. As an aside, clot busting drugs can be given for lung attacks (PEs), brain attacks (strokes), or heart attacks (MIs) but you HAVE to get them within 1-3 hours of the onset of symptoms so get to a hospital fast if you suspect any of the above.

Over 2 hours, the TPA dripped into my veins as a team of specialists came in and out of the room to observe me. One of the MDs, prior to the infusion, told me to call my family as it was not likely I would survive. Clot busters "thin" your blood like crazy so I looked horrible as my gums began to bleed, blood puncture sites turned into huge bruises and my period came on. It was as if I went 10 rounds with Mike Tyson in the ring and lost miserabley. LOL About half-way into the TPA infusion, I felt it was a little easier to breathe and by the time the infusion was completed, I knew I was going to be OK. I was determined not to die on a toilet seat at home (hmmmmmmmm... now that would make an interesting read in the death notices, LOL) and I was determined not to die in a hospital either.

I was moved to the ICU and spent a week there. After 9 days I went home on NO oxygen and given an "expected full recovery" prognosis. I was scheduled for lapband surgery in late January but that obviously had to be post poned. Rather than rest at home, I forced myself to keep pushing more each day and my lungs continued to improve. I went back to work in 2 weeks despite the advice of my MD to take 8 weeks off and it was hard but i did it. Each day I could breathe more easily and felt better and better.

Last week, I had pulmonary function tests to evaluate my lungs, a repeat chest x-ray and a repeat V/Q scan. I am also nearly 5 months post-op from lapband surgery and down 50 pounds. The results show that my lung function is NORMAL at above the 95th percentile. In December, prior to the PEs, my lung function was at 80%. Genetic testing showed I am positive for a gene that predisposes a person to clotting (MTHFR2 gene) and I have a cardiac condition called ARVD that was diagnosed a few years ago. Because of this, I will have to stay on Coumadin and other meds but that's fine with me. LOL.

Given the fact that I truly have a new life and survived when the odds were against me, does it make any sense for me to waste my energy trying to decide if an off-handed comment was indeed negative towards me let alone address the comment? NOPE! I have more important things to deal with. Obviously, I lived for a reason and I'm determined to make the best of it.

Sometimes people are having a bad day and leash out without even realizing they are doing it. Sometimes people feel the need to transfer their "pain" to another person through a cruel comment in order to feel better. As someone who had one of those "life changing events" that "only happens to other people," I chalk it up to a lapse of kindness and good judgement and move forward. For now, I'm focusing on getting the fat off so I can take full advantage of my "second chance" and accomplish whatever is I am still here to do.

I shall now step down from my soap box but not before turning into an RN and saying, Don't wait for symptoms of a stroke, PE, or heart attack to get better or go away. Unless contraindicated, take 4 baby aspirin or one adult aspirin (NOT enteric coated) as someone is calling the ambulance. The life you save TRULY might be your own or that of a loved one. Stepping down now... LOL.

I don't know what's going on around here lately. I'm on site atleast once a day and I somehow have missed out on all the bashing and lashing out that has been taking place here. And that's a good thing. I commend you for your stength and faith in getting to where you are. I just wish we could all stick to the reason for us all being here in the first place, the band and our journeys to a healthier and happier future. Why anyone needs to start trouble here just blows my mind. Congratulations on your health and your weight loss.

Good for you Elizabeth, that's a great outlook.

Thank you Elizabeth!! Life is much to precious for us to worry about a comment that just "might" have offended us. I am so glad you lived through your ordeal so that you could come here & teach us all a thing or two.

Thanks. We needed that!!

hi Elizabeth, first of all thank goodness you survived your ordeal. It must be more frightening when you actually KNOW what is happening! I have always found your posts to be insightful and informative. Don't let whatever happened on this site make you leave lbt, you're valued here.

second, I also have been reading all these posts about bashing god, religion, general nastiness, etc,etc, I don't know what i'm missing here because everyone i have communicated with has been very diplomatic and helpful, thankfully.

I really hope that everyone can lay down thier weapons and get back to the reason this site exists at all, as a place for support and guidance from fellow bandsters. I encourage everyone to resist the urge to let the negative posters get a rise out of them, and make use of the "ignore" option. In doing this, they will eventually get the message and just go away.

As a fellow DVT/PE sufferer, I completely concur. Great post!

Wow, Elizabethsew, that is really a scary story. And inspirational in the end, so thank you very much. I'm glad you are here to share it. :hug:

Leatha, you too!! :hug:

Wow, what an amazing and scary experience. I am so glad you are doing better now.

Wow. Thank you for sharing this story. All too often we let our fragile egos get the better of us. By helping us put things into perspective, maybe we can all learn.

Glad you're still with us Elizabeth as I'm sure your patients are as well.

Well said. Thanks for sharing your story and congrats on your full recovery! :hug:

Thank you all so much. As for the "trouble" on the forum and not understanding what exactly is the problem, don't worry about it. Neenaugh, your observations are correct. For the most part, people here are diplomatic and caring. There are only a few people who are in "disagreement" at any given time but those threads often attract attention from other members of the community. It's similar to rubber-necking at an accident scene.

Before you know it, this will all blow over so concentrate on the posts that are meaningful to you and don't comment on ones that are disconcerning or disturbing to you.

We're all doing great at the losing game and I thinak you all for your kind comments.

Wow, Elisabeth. I am so happy you made it through that nightmare. That is my biggest fear of this surgery, the possiblity of a PE afterwards, but I try not to dwell on it. I, too, learned not to sweat the small stuff after a life-changing event when Lung Cancer came into my life. Not me, my Dad. It consumed my life for 2-1/2 years while he suffered with it, and now 2-1/2 years since he has past. I am finally ready to go foward with my life and get myself together, emotionally and physically. Some people never learn not to sweat the small stuff. We are fortunate to have learned that lesson, although the circumstances in which we did were terrifying. I wish you all the best.

Elisabeth ~ Thanks for sharing your story and for all the words of wisdom. I am glad to hear you are doing so well after such an event. I didn't know about the aspirin.....will share that with my family.

Elisabeth ~ Thanks for sharing your story and for all the words of wisdom. I am glad to hear you are doing so well after such an event. I didn't know about the aspirin.....will share that with my family.

Many of the cardiologists were I work are telling their patients to take a baby aspirin 30 minutes before taking a long car trip as well as a plane trip. The general rule is, get up and circulate your blood once an hour. When I take car trips, I was told to stop after an hour, walk around the car twice and then drive for another hour.

I'm curious. What causes DVT/PE?

Wow, Elisabeth. I am so happy you made it through that nightmare. That is my biggest fear of this surgery, the possiblity of a PE afterwards, but I try not to dwell on it. I, too, learned not to sweat the small stuff after a life-changing event when Lung Cancer came into my life. Not me, my Dad. It consumed my life for 2-1/2 years while he suffered with it, and now 2-1/2 years since he has past. I am finally ready to go foward with my life and get myself together, emotionally and physically. Some people never learn not to sweat the small stuff. We are fortunate to have learned that lesson, although the circumstances in which we did were terrifying. I wish you all the best.

You're going to do great in surgery and afterwards. I came off the coumadin 5 days before and had to give myself Lovinox injections until I could go back on Coumadin. I walked around until it was time to get ready for the OR and then jumped on the stretcher. Once you go into the OR, they place ankle booties on that inflate and deflate all during the surgery and post-op.

I was out of the OR in 90 minutes, in recovery for 90 minutes and then walked from the hallway to my bed. Four hours later, I was up to pee and then they had me walk 2 laps in the hallway. Five hours later I was up getting myself washed, had the barium test, drank some fluids and went home.

Go in with a positive attitude and you'll be fine.