I don't understand what is happening to me lately. I am so ready for my sleeve surgery, but I think since I was canceled and had to reschedule later than I really wanted I been feeling a little blue. It does not help that I also have been feeling a little sick. Not really sure when it started but I noticed it alot when I need to go shopping for a shirt to wear to a party because none of the outfits I had did not fit.

I tried very hard to not cry in the store but I just could not get a hold of myself. The fitting did not have much privatice and when a new woman came in she found me on the floor crying my eyes out. After that I found something that look like a tent, I left and hoped for the best. That was on Friday. On Saturday I got dress and had my hair done and my husband keep telling me "Wow baby you look beautiful." I was on cloud nine. Then I took pictures and cried again away from the family because I never thought I was getting that fat.

I wish I could stop feeling the BLUES because I know I will be slimmer sooner or later.

When I seeing certain people I get body envy, hoping to have nice waist, and thinner look.

I keep thinking about what I will start doing to do right after surgery, I will put my money away for the removal of any skin that hangs.

Blues go away

Oh Lilu, I am so sorry you are feeling down. I am very familiar with the frustration of having to shop for an outfit when nothing seems to fit. Please try to focus on the fact that you have made the biggest step towards being healthy, slim and fit. May is right around the corner and soon it would be upon you...and it will be all smiles from then on. Until then try to Celebrate the beauty that is within you and those features about yourself that you love...

It helps to know how to cheer yourself up...find your happy place. When I feel down (and this might be silly) I listen to the classical world of disney...it always takes me back to happy childhood memories and cheers me up.

Hang in there