I thought abt getting the sleeve done two years ago but my parents talked me out of it but this time I feel like I researched a lot and I'm ready. I'm on the fourth day of my pre op diet, not really hungry which is a good thing. My doctor allows protein shakes for breakfast n dinner and decent lunch which can be fish or chicken w veggies. But last night when my kids were eating I took a couple of crackers out of their plates w/o realizing it. Once I was on the third bite I was like "I'm not supposed eat this". Now I have this fear that I might do this after surgery as well and just regain or not even loose any weight at all. Another one of my fears is after surgery I have to come home to 3 kids which are 5, 2 and 10 months. Not seeing me for two days, they're going to jump on me and expect me to pick em up and love on em. Which the fear is if I might pop an incision or leakage might happen? On top of all this I saw the grim reaper in my dream this morning. Ughhh

I think all of us were apprehensive prior to surgery. We do the research, read the fail rates on leaks, and read the success stories. I'm 6 weeks post-op and the real learning came in the first two weeks after my surgery. I realized how much food played a vital part of my life. Always eating, family gatherings, evenings in front of the TV, everywhere. LOL

But the funny thing is that when your hurting and feeling bad, you start to realize how you got this way in a real sense. I could talk about being fat before the surgery and thought I understood why and how it happened, but when I ccouldn't eat what I wanted to, I realized the real problem and how much food controlled my life.

I miss being able to mow down a pizza or whole chicken, but now understand just what it was doing to me. Diabeties, High blood pressure, cholesterol thru the roof. But with the sleeve, it has given me the tool to stop those destructive habits. My Doctor gave me a wonderful little bit of advise. He said, "listen to what your body is telling you" I never had done that before. It works. I eat healthy foods now and the weight is falling off. You will do wonderfully well as you learn thru your journey of weight loss as all of us are also. Enjoy the journey!

For those of you thinking about being tempted by your kids' food . . . I've used my surgery as a starting point to improving my daughter's eating habits. Very little eating out now when we used to hit the drive-thru a LOT, lots more veggies and protein and less simple carbs, etc. She understands that I had surgery and that now we're all eating better to help mom get thinner and heathier. It's really been beneficial for the whole family!