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what is wrong with me??????

It has been two years of one thing after the other to get a date for this surgery. I just told my friend today at work that I have finally given up and I wasn't going to persue it anymore, then I come home and I saw that the hospial had called. I don't know exactly for sure but last I heard a month ago they would call me with a date. Now I am freaking out scared. I've gone through hell and back to get it and now it may be here, why am I soo scared. I'm scared it's too drastic, of the way I will look, the attention I may get, if I will make it out safe, if I will be sick and never be able to enjoy the foods I love. You name it I've thought about it tonight. I'm 42, 5' 5" and now 245 pounds. I've been skinny minny my whole life growing up, then once I put it on, I've battled with it for 20 years now. Losing and gainning and now been this big for long it has become normal to me, and I'm scared of being small again... I no this makes no sense right?

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It all makes perfect sense! This is a big decision and it will change your life so you should be questioning yourself and making sure you're doing the right thing. Someone once posted that when you feel like that you should write down all the reasons you wanted to do this and for you, all the reasons you've worked sooooooooo hard to get to this point. It's ok to be scared though. I'm scheduled for October and I go from being excited to anxious and everywhere in between.

Hang in there, don't be so hard on yourself!

Hugs,

Lisa

  • Author

Thank you Lisa..... Good luck to you as well.

It all makes perfect sense! This is a big decision and it will change your life so you should be questioning yourself and making sure you're doing the right thing. Someone once posted that when you feel like that you should write down all the reasons you wanted to do this and for you, all the reasons you've worked sooooooooo hard to get to this point. It's ok to be scared though. I'm scheduled for October and I go from being excited to anxious and everywhere in between.

Hang in there, don't be so hard on yourself!

Hugs,

Lisa

  • 1 month later...
  • Author

Hi Lisa, Have you had your surgery yet? I go in tomorrow the 28th. I'm soooo nervous.. Hope all is well with you.

<br />Thank you Lisa..... Good luck to you as well.<br />
<br /><br /><br />

Yes, I had my surgery on 10/11 and can say I feel great!

The first few days are the hardest but you will wake up each morning feeling better than you did the day before.

Good Luck to you!!!!!!

  • 4 weeks later...

It has been two years of one thing after the other to get a date for this surgery. I just told my friend today at work that I have finally given up and I wasn't going to persue it anymore, then I come home and I saw that the hospial had called. I don't know exactly for sure but last I heard a month ago they would call me with a date. Now I am freaking out scared. I've gone through hell and back to get it and now it may be here, why am I soo scared. I'm scared it's too drastic, of the way I will look, the attention I may get, if I will make it out safe, if I will be sick and never be able to enjoy the foods I love. You name it I've thought about it tonight. I'm 42, 5' 5" and now 245 pounds. I've been skinny minny my whole life growing up, then once I put it on, I've battled with it for 20 years now. Losing and gainning and now been this big for long it has become normal to me, and I'm scared of being small again... I no this makes no sense right?

JoJo the feelings you have are perfectly normal and majority of everyone that has had this surgery felt some apprehension prior. You are having a very major surgery and is going to change so much of your life - of course you'll have strong feelings about it. It's just good to talk it out like you did now, and the feeling of normalcy will help all bring this into perspective.

I had a little bit of this, but I can tell you this, I'm sooo glad I did it today. Having the sleeve gave me my life back!!! Thanksgiving was such an incredible freeing feeling yesterday as I was only able to eat a very little bit - so once I was finish, I wasn't in a food drunken stupor I was available to chatter with my family. It made my Holiday BETTER!!! Last Thanksgiving wasn't as good of course because I couldn't eat much at all... but this time it was probably the best T-giving I've ever had, and it's my favorite of all the Holidays. :)

Stay strong and focused!! It is ALL WORTH IT!!!

I have to say that doing this was the greatest thing ( besides having my children) that I have ever done. 4 weeks out and I have to remind myself that I had a surgery. It really was an easy process, in fact I was out shopping the day after I got out. I would do it again in a heart beat. Don't beat yourself up, do what you feel is right. You won't regret it. I certainly don't.

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