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How things can change in a week! A week ago on Friday I learned that my chosen doctor was not a participating provider with my insurance company, even though my first phone calls told me he was. I felt that I was back at square one, and all the poking and prodding that I went through for the pre testing would be wasted. I called the surgeon's office, and they told me they would "look into it" and get back to me. I never heard from them. I decided to call the case management department of my insurance company. The nurse they put me in touch with was wonderful. She listened to me and researched who exactly was covered and participating. She gave me phone numbers and contact names. I was put in touch with Orange Regional Hospital in MIddletown, NY. They have been nothing short of amazing and wonderful.
The care coordinators have worked closely with me to get all of the information transferred, and to set up the remainder of the appointments. I actually have a tentative surgery date set for July 18! I can't believe it!
Right now I am going back and forth trying to decide between the sleeve or the bypass. I thought I was ok with my decision to do the sleeve, but the new surgeon made some good points, and I have started doing more research. My support group feels that the sleeve is the best, but I'm not sure anymore.
I'm hearing people are hungry all the time after surgery. I'm thinking that this may be more psychological....my body is so used to eating (and in my case eating too much!), is it just craving what it can't have? I know the sleeve removes the part of the stomach that produces ghrelin, does that really make a huge difference?
One of my most favorite things to do is to go out to dinner, especially at the end of the week. I guess this can still happen, the shrimp cocktail will become the meal, not the appetizer.
I can't stand the way I look, and I don't believe I'm making a hasty decision. I have researched and soul searched. This is the right thing to do. I worry I'm not emotionally strong enough to stick to all the life changes I need to make.
I want to be healthy. I want to look better. I want to have energy. I want to be able to shop at Victoria's Secret, instead of being told "we don't carry larger sizes here". I want to find outfits I love, not just things that "will do".
I want to develop a positive body image and a healthy relationship with food. It sounds easy enough. I guess it's like smoking though. I used that as a crutch for years. The cigarettes were there for me during stressful times. I will have to learn a new way of thinking, and new ways of socializing and relaxing.