The little things
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So I haven't been around for a long time because I've been on vacation. During this vacay I have lost about 15 lbs, though it should be more like 30, =(. However, now that I have crossed the 200 lb divide, joined the century club, and started dancing, my changes are happening more often and are way more noticeable; more changes have been apparent from 200 lbs to 185 lbs then in the previous 75 lbs.
My constant comment since surgery 10 months ago has been that I did not recognize the changes taking place. Though I know of course that I am much different then I was, it is difficult to recall whether or not I was able to do a particular thing or not. I find myself, for example, scratching a shoulder blade or tying my shoelaces and I think, "was I able to do this? I don't remember!!" Here however are a list of victories that -I think- I did not have/was unable to achieve before:
push ups
lay on my stomach on the massage table with my face in the doughnut without feeling like I'm going to suffocate.
sit on the ground with both knees drawn up AND my arms around those knees.
wearing a size 12 PETITE J Crew cords
styling my own hair without breaking into a sweat.
putting my napkin on my lap and having it stay in place.
having a lap.
cheekbones
lay on my back without being suffocated by my own breasts.
hipbones.
slipping the pilates ring around my thighs.
going to the thrift shop and being able to pick up things for just a few bucks instead of being forced to pay $50 for a poorly made tacky polyester shirt at LB or Avenue.
Being assessed by female strangers on the street - being seen as enough of a threat that they reach for their male companion's attention.(!!)
36DD on the tightest row of hooks, from a 42F on the loosest row AND spilling out of the cups.
walking miles and. NOT. EVEN. NOTICING.
JOGGING.
hugging people and really being in the hug. You VSG homies know what I mean.
discovering, quite for the first time in my entire life, that I have a REALLY GREAT A$$. (thank you pilates, thank you tango).
Name brands - The Gap, J. Crew, Macy's INC, Ann Taylor, Levi's.
These are a few of my favorite things, Thirty-five pounds until surgeon's goal, fifty-five pounds until personal goal, eventual plastics (arms! gut! tatas!), and slow as molasses, but a beautiful journey that I would not trade and that fills me with gratitude. Thank you VSG family, thank you surgeon, and most of all, thank you Self for taking the risk. =) =)