I just want it over with.
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I called my surgeon's office on Friday to find out what they'd learned about my insurance. The lady suggested I might need to take a 3 month program (which no one had mentioned and isn't in any of the research I'd had with my insurance) and my jaw dropped. She said I could get past that but I'd need to get as much information about my health history / diet history as possible over the next week (my nutrition class is on Sunday).
I realize that people spend 6 months or more waiting for an appt. But the idea of waiting that long completely horrifies me. I haven't even TRIED to lose weight for the last 2 years. I'd completely given up hope that I could have any meaningful weight loss. For the first time in a long time I feel HOPEFUL. Not optimistic, not encouraged, I feel like this could finally be what makes a difference. This will finally be the permanent change I've spent soooooo much of my life looking for.
I've spent the last two years more or less waiting to die, I'm ready to start living. And every day I have to wait just feels like a day wasted. It's spring. There's so much I want to do that I'm just not able to in my current condition.