Well I've waited and waited for this day to come... where I can see the surgery is within a few days and now of course.. FEAR HAS SET IN... UGH Dang it .. GO AWAY!

I'm having alot of mixed emotions... I started this journey at 279lbs and I'm now down to 251lbs in less than 30 days so I know I'm doing everything right .. right now.. but I also don't have the small pouch yet. So in talking to my friend who just had the sleeve in Dec and might I add she looks AMAZING she's lost over 85lbs to date... I'm learning all sorts of new things.. like the leak test.. what on earth do you do if you can't take that barium syrup... I've never been able to take it ever there's something in it that makes me projectile vomit as soon as it hits my lips.. that frightens me cause I sure don't want to damage my new stomach... is there an alternative that will get the same results?

And of course the million dollar question we all ask.. "Can I do this.. I mean REALLY"? ... I'm so afraid of failing and I love forums but we all know there is MUCH more negative then there is positive and I KNOW there's ALOT of positives out there ... but did anyone else really feel the same way, scared of losing hair, failing, giving up I honestly think I'm more worried about losing my freakin hair and how flippin shallow and stupid is that... Well to explain that.. my daughter has special needs and has no hair... so she plays with mine and braids it, pins it up, gets it all KNOTTED and ties it in knots LOL... I'd hate to lose it and she has nothing to play with... she dreams of being a hairstylist I hope she doesn't tie anyone else's hair in knots LOL

So will someone please tell me that "I" am NORMAL... please... cause I'm not feeling normal right now...

Have a blessed Sunday.. I'm going to have a Protein shake.. YUMMY *Gag* LOL'

All I can say is I'm 11 days away from surgery and scared too. I was so freaked out, I sat down and told my husband what my medical wishes are in case I have complications and am unable to make my own decisions. I'm not so worried about hair loss, but I am scared to death of failure. I am young, so no one in my family understands why I want this now. But I can't chase my son at the park. I can't stand on my feet for a full 12 hour shift, like I need to. Probly TMI, but I am so turned off by my own body at this point, that my marriage is suffering.

I also know that after this surgery all of these things will change. I will be able to go on hikes with my spouse without feeling like I'm going to die going up a hill. I can keep up with my son. I will be able to stand on my feet without having them swell up at the end of the day.

I know that this surgery could potentially lengthen my life, but I am still scared. And I think as rational human beings, this is normal. Because we have researched this enough to know what could go wrong. But we know that this is still our best option for a better future.

PS. I also projectile vomit with barium, but there has to be something else they can give us right?

All I can say is I'm 11 days away from surgery and scared too. I was so freaked out, I sat down and told my husband what my medical wishes are in case I have complications and am unable to make my own decisions. I'm not so worried about hair loss, but I am scared to death of failure. I am young, so no one in my family understands why I want this now. But I can't chase my son at the park. I can't stand on my feet for a full 12 hour shift, like I need to. Probly TMI, but I am so turned off by my own body at this point, that my marriage is suffering.

I also know that after this surgery all of these things will change. I will be able to go on hikes with my spouse without feeling like I'm going to die going up a hill. I can keep up with my son. I will be able to stand on my feet without having them swell up at the end of the day.

I know that this surgery could potentially lengthen my life, but I am still scared. And I think as rational human beings, this is normal. Because we have researched this enough to know what could go wrong. But we know that this is still our best option for a better future.

PS. I also projectile vomit with barium, but there has to be something else they can give us right?

Oh honey you're absolutely stunning.. what a beautiful woman... it's good to do it now while you're younger don't wait till your my age.. I just turned 50 and got diagnosed with Diabetes after blacking out walking into the ER lobby thinking I was having a heart attack... that was God's way of saying "Hey fat ass will you do something NOW?" LOL... oh what a wake up call.. but i'm like you... scared of losing my hair.. I know i'll lose weight... but I don't want to lose my hair LOL UGH

I'm here if you need to vent hun... just keep your head up and do this for you, then do it for your precious son your husband will love you no matter what you do if he's any kind of man.. But start setting the example for your child...

And always start the morning with great affirmations... I do... "Good Morning Starr.. you're going to have a great day and did I mention you look marvelous today, keep that smile going" and it helps... cause society as a whole puts us women of size down... I can do that myself! LOL

Hugs hun!!!

surgery on 4/11 and yes i totally agree...the hair thing scares me (but there are weaves) the skin thing scares me (there are spanx)

yes i am trying to make light of it. But I have said before that NO ONE I have met regretted their decision.

I just asked my dad about his intubation for his hernia surgery and he was like why lol...i have asked everyone I know who has been put to sleep about it, because I think that scares me most oddly enough. I feel like I will deal with the post op stuff when it happens. I just wanna wake up! lol

Girl, you are NOT alone! I am going in on Friday and have the same questions and more going through my head. But that can't stop us now. We will not fail because we have researched and studied and planned for the day to come. So once it is here, we will follow behind our fellow sleevesters and do the dang thang!!!

If you dig through the board history you will see A LOT of posts about the last minute panic before surgery. The decision to go through the the surgery is so emotional - why can't I do this on my own, can I handle the changes, will I make it through the surgery? I think every one of us had anxiety before the surgery.

You've made the decision - now go do it!!

I know when I did the barium swallow in the hospital, they used some really thin form of it and it tasted bad. It was like bitter Water. But, you have to do it so they can see if there is anything wrong. You will be so happy to see your new stomach healing well. Having a succesful surgery is the goal!!!

Try to relax. Ask the doctor for some Ativan to help with the anxiety if you think you need it. Make sure you have purchased your after-care food so you know you are really prepared and then get ready for the journey!

Lara

You all are the greatest... I love the forums where everyone steps up and helps another.. thank you all so much.. it's been an emotional day for me but I've spent the time making sure i have everything I need prior to the glorious event..

I'm excited... and can't wait...

You all are the greatest... I love the forums where everyone steps up and helps another.. thank you all so much.. it's been an emotional day for me but I've spent the time making sure i have everything I need prior to the glorious event..

I'm excited... and can't wait...

Starry,

I second the motion about asking for Ativan. Let the doc/nurses know that you can projectile vomit on command and they will be the first to load you up with anti-emetics and anti-anxiety meds! Hang tight...you are almost there!

I feel for you...I am only a week out from surgery myself and it feels a bit like diving off of the high dive... blindfolded! Hope there is some Water at the bottom and that I can swim!

I am 6 days out , I am very nervous as well, I was scheduled for yesterday but life got in the way and I pushed it off till the 11th, I am not afraid for my hair because it has slowly been leaving me for a couple years, I would rather be skinny and bald than heavy and bald. I understand how this would be way more of an issue for women. I am mostly afraid of not waking up.

All of your issues are valid, I wish you the best.

I am 6 days out , I am very nervous as well, I was scheduled for yesterday but life got in the way and I pushed it off till the 11th, I am not afraid for my hair because it has slowly been leaving me for a couple years, I would rather be skinny and bald than heavy and bald. I understand how this would be way more of an issue for women. I am mostly afraid of not waking up.

All of your issues are valid, I wish you the best.

That is probably my fear not coming out of the anesthia or waking up at all... but you know I have to put my faith in Gods hands I'm tellin y'all he ain't ready for me LOL

Thanks for all the great words.. I'm heading to bed cause tomorrow at 9am is the new day to a new me!!!

Good luck tomorrow!

Friday is my date, too---in TN. Good luck to both of us!

Girl, you are NOT alone! I am going in on Friday and have the same questions and more going through my head. But that can't stop us now. We will not fail because we have researched and studied and planned for the day to come. So once it is here, we will follow behind our fellow sleevesters and do the dang thang!!!

Good luck tomorrow!

Thank you so much Samantha!!!

Friday is my date, too---in TN. Good luck to both of us!

Awesome!!! Good Luck Ladies!! I'll keep the prayers and good wishes coming to you!!