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Hey everyone, I am almost two months out and have questions for those of you with a similar body proportion to mine.
I am pear shaped and even when i lost weight at 18 (and put back 100 pounds in 6 years) I felt my legs were the worse thing ever! They looked flabby and my knees were big. I really feel like I have massive legs, especially in comparison to the rest of my body and am noticing, if I look to the side of my leg, my knees are hanging a bit.
I'm a bit worried about how the outcome will be. I was supposed to start a beauty therapy course last year and quit after the first day when I heard we were going to wax each others legs. I know it sounds silly and it wasn't just to do with my concerns about my legs per say. It was more about my general size and complete lack of confidence.
I was 280 pounds, standing in amongst a small handful of girls who were all at the most 150 pounds. They were skinny, glamorous and I felt like I was back at school, feeling left out. I felt mortified. A lot of the girls were in their fake tan, with their long nails and lashings of mascara and I was this dowdy looking 24 year old, who could pass for 40. When we were given our tops, the teacher read everyone's size out loudly. The largest size given was a size 10! Then she looked at me and whispered, "this must be yours." And then she handed me my size 20 top. And guess what? It didn't fit. I undressed in front of everyone, as I didn't want to make a fuss and the top was too tight so I was the only one not wearing this top. The teacher gave me some sympathetic glances and I felt a bit like I was being spoken to differently and it wasn't so much my imagination.
When I spoke to the teacher about my concerns she said, "don't worry about your weight, the other girls will help you to lose all of that." Well If I couldn't help myself, how are a group of 18 year old 150 pound girls going to help me? I felt like a charity case and a bit pathetic.
I cried and cried at home and me and my mum decided I should do the course the year after, when I had lost some weight with my sleeve.
So I'm happy thus far and have lost weight but now I'm concerned about how my body will look with loose skin. I'm kicking myself for choosing a career option that involves me showing off my body and getting waxed and was only told about that part on day one of the course. I'm so body shy and even when I was 160 pounds, no one would be allowed to see my legs.
I'm just really scared...