As I read different posts on telling people about upcoming sleeve surgeries, it brings to mind my own situation. I have a friend of 13 years of on and off dating. We are presently dating again. I have dropped hints about having the sleeve down but he constantly changes the subject. When I started the process and had my ultrasound the technician found a mass on my liver which will be coming out at the same time I have my sleeve done. My friend knows I will be having surgery to remove the liver mass but he is just not listening when I talk about having the sleeve. Do I continue to let him think I am only having the mass removed or do I make him understand the process of the sleeve? When it come down to it, I am doing this for me and only me. But, I feel I need him to realize what I am doing. Any suggestions would be helpful.

I think he sounds uninterested. Some people think this is too personal to discuss or are simply not interested. I was very open, but few people are interested. I mean, people comment on the weight loss and are nosey enough to find out how I'm doing it, but once I say surgery that seems to be enough information for them. Even my husband didn't learn all the details of the surgery - just trusted that I chose the right surgery. He doesn't have a weight problem and he just isn't interested in the subject of weight loss. He also wasn't a husband that badgered me about being overweight which I appreciated.

Sounds like this person might not be a main support system...hopefully you have a good friend or family member that will step in more.

I would send him a few helpful links via email and let it go. If he asks or wants to learn more then he will ask. It will become more clear maybe when your eating habits have to change.

I have found that while many people are supportive of my decision, they don't have that same hunger for knowledge that I do. I basically took to the computer for the last 8+ months for information and research and have learned as much as I possibly could. Other people are much less interested in all the details, etc.

I think as long as you are feeling that he supports you (regardless of how much he knows or wants to know) that is the most important. Maybe that is what the conversation needs to be about...basically do you support my decision?

After 13 years of friendship/relationship, I would think he would want to be more involved, but it could be fear or the thought of you changing after all this time that has him "clammed" up on the subject. I agree that giving him some the medical links, explanations, and guidelines might help him understand and he might open up to you more.

In my opinion, he's simply not interested. Showing interest would mean that he'd have to be "involved", which it seems, he's not willing to do. I'd be more prone to leaving things as they are, doing what YOU want to do, and hope he comes along for the ride after the fact. If he elects not to, then better you know now, than later. Oh, and when you're all slim and sexy, and he did not support you after the surgery, you can tell him to kiss your *^% if he comes sniffing around.