Hi Everybody,

It's official-I'm getting sleeved Dec. 20th. Earlier I posted about being stuck between band and sleeve, and thanks to your feedback I've decided to get sleeved. My diabetes is a bit out of control levels over 300. I'm on day 3 of the pre-op liquid diet and have been able to get it down to 150. Insulin shots tonight for the first time ever to make sure I'm good to go for surgery. I feel confident that i will resolve that issue as soon as I get sleeved-thanks for everything you all shared on that topic. Looks like I have gall stones and that's coming out too-2 birds with one stone-Wouldn't have been able to do that with the band

After some serious talking I won over the support of my nuclear family (Mom, Dad, Sister), my wife however is a different story. She is dead set against me getting the surgery, I'm afraid I'm not going to have her support going into the OR and worst yet when I return home. she is very negative about the results believes that it is all going to come back in 2 years and it's a sham. Thinks i will need a modification to RNY. She thinks i can do it on diet and exercise alone, because like many of you I've lost it and put it back on-I can never maintain. It is putting tremendous stress on me everyday trying to get her to not be so narrow minded and look at things from my point of view, I don't think i will get her there, and it's driving me crazy.

Any suggestions on what i should do would be helpful. i have invited her to talk to my surgeon and ask him questions. She's really bumming me out while I'm going through a difficult time.

Thanks for your support

Thats a tough one. Sometimes people are just dead set against the surgery. If only she could understand that reducing your weight and possibly reversing your diabetes (or at least bringing to a very managable place) will increase your life span. Staying obese especially with diabetes shortens your life. I would hope that she understands that you are trying what ever you need to do to make yourself healthier.

I really have no true suggestions as to swinging someones views. What I have learned in life is that you can not change another persons views (most of the time). I truly would sit down and get all questions aired. You could search out the answers to help her form an informed decision about the sleeve surgery. Other than that one tiny suggestion I have nothing.

Id suggest sitting her down and having a heart to heart talk with her about the surgery. Set rules, like no getting upset, no yelling, just a calm, rational talk.

Have her come to this site too and read around some on the surgery and what others are going through and read all the successes. If you would rather her not be on this site, go to youtube and look up VSG, you will come up with hundreds of videos, so many success stories outt here. SO many videos with before and after pictures too.

i also have no good solution for you. all I can say is that my husband was totally against me having surgery. I had to do it for me and for my life.

3 months later, he actually has said to me that it was the best thing for me to do as he can see that my life has been changed by this procedure.

Calmly explain to her but ultimately do wwhat is in your best interest.

Tell her to google Luther Vandross and see what yoyo dieting and diabetes did for him. I think of him often when I start second-guessing my decision. Also, does she want a husband or does she want a dead husband?

Thank you all for the support and advice-it helps. I'll keep trying to bring her around. Sleeve date Dec. 20th-Yippee

While my husband was never dead set against my surgery, he was and still not supportive. When he came at me with you have lost 50 pounds already why not just keep going, I sat down and wrote him a letter about why I felt I need the surgery and the reasons I wanted. He backed off then but still does not "get it". It really all boils down to his own insecurities.

I wish you luck and keep the faith. You do what you have to do for YOU.