That is how it is going for me lately. I guess Im feeling a bit sorry for myself, its so hard to pick myself back up. I just cant find the motivation anymore.

I had a really good food day yesterday, but today started out awful. For breakfast, hubby brought home Mcdonalds. UGH! The only consolation is that it will be breakfast and lunch for me. If I could eat a really small/light dinner tonite, I would be ok.... hopefully I will have the willpower for that.

I really dont know what to do anymore. My appetite and cravings are really high. I get hungry, I can eat alot.....*sigh*.....it has been this way since I had surgery, but has gotten worse over the last 8 months or so. I know I eat the wrong foods alot lately.

My overall health has really improved since I lost the 100+ lbs, but recently I have been feeling really bad again. I have an almost constant headache and the doctors cant find anything that is wrong. I figure most of it is stress and worry, mixed with some depression.

I even hate getting online anymore. I used to find such solace in the WLS groups im in, but now, I just find it super depressing seeing all the ones having success....altho Im really happy for all of them, it still hurts that Im not one of them at the moment.

Im truly not giving up...I just dont know what to do anymore. It seems Ive tried everything. I even tried going back to basics with the Protein drinks. I lasted one day and was just physically sick with just the thought of drinking my meals. When I cut my carbs and calories, I do lose weight, but I cant keep at it b4 Im caving in for something off the diet. I know I need to get these carbs out of my system - at least the bad carbs. But thats my major craving of course. Maybe I should lock myself in a padded room for a few weeks... lol. I couldnt harm myself or anyone else with my crankiness. My husband can barely stand to be around me, my marriage really sux. :sad0: and thats just one of my stressors.

Ok, Ive vented for the day. I dont think I accomplished anything, except getting it off my chest for a bit..

thanks for listening..

If you are stuck with the larger stomach, unable to move forward to the DS just yet and not losing on the amount you are eating, then I think the most obvious answer is to try to burn those calories instead of trying not to eat them.

Honestly, it IS possible to lose weight and live a very normal life on a very normal amount of food if you are fit and active.

I am a shocking dieter, I could not do that five day pouch test ridiculous thing for love nor money and wouldnt even try. I dont do deprivation. The only way I have EVER been able to lose weight is to eat a bit less of everything, but not deny any foods or cut out groups, I cannot feel like I cant have anything I want. But it WORKS, if you can get the calorie balance right.

I run an hour a day and people think I'm very dedicated to do that but really, the motivator before the running bug bit me big time was that if I didnt do that, I would have to eat some horribly small number of calories like under 1000.

Food and certain foods in particular CAN be an addiction that you are powerless to control to some degree. But you can ALWAYS choose to go out and be active, no matter what your circumstances, where there is a will there is a way. To me, I may not feel like running and sweating but it is over and done with in 45 minutes, it cant be "undone", and as long as I do it day in day out, I stay thin, no matter what I eat. Its MUCH easier than ignoring the cheescake in the fridge.

What about something like that combined with a bit of soul searching and a moderate diet that you can have a hope of sticking to, in order to try to balance the ledger back on the side of losing again? Could you BURN 500 calories a day extra rather than trying to eat less?

The burning instead of eating less is a good idea. I know you have some mobility issues. How about lifting cans of food while sitting on the couch. Arm lifts and curls. Start with that. Maybe each commercial break take a lap around the house without fail.

Ah, ok, didnt know about any mobility issues, so hope I dont come across as a insensitive!

Still.... can you think outside the square in that regard?

Lisa...

Let's see...you have lost 111 lbs. That is a whole person!!! Take your right hand and put it on your left shoulder. Raise it up. Put it down. Repeat. That's a long distance pat of the back from me!

How about focusing on two really short term goals...like some kind of exercise that you can do for 5 minutes twice a day for ONE WEEK. And a very small nutrition goal, something that you think would help you work toward a goal of 2 lb weight loss in one week. Just SHORT term goals. kEEP A DAILY LOG OF YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

Focusing short term instead of long term helps me when I feel overwhelmed by the 130 lbs that I have to lose.

At the end of the week, let us know how you did! We are your friends and will encourage you to keep on moving forward, one little bit at a time. YOU ARE AWESOME...YOU GO GIRL!!!!!

I dont think Ive ever heard it all put like that, but i think that is the right thing to do. I do hate exercising, but i hate being obese alot worse. I have Gym membership that Im just wasting. Ive been telling myself I have to get back to it, but have just not done it. Maybe its time to light that fire under me and get out there and do it.

Thanks!

If you are stuck with the larger stomach, unable to move forward to the DS just yet and not losing on the amount you are eating, then I think the most obvious answer is to try to burn those calories instead of trying not to eat them.

Honestly, it IS possible to lose weight and live a very normal life on a very normal amount of food if you are fit and active.

I am a shocking dieter, I could not do that five day pouch test ridiculous thing for love nor money and wouldnt even try. I dont do deprivation. The only way I have EVER been able to lose weight is to eat a bit less of everything, but not deny any foods or cut out groups, I cannot feel like I cant have anything I want. But it WORKS, if you can get the calorie balance right.

I run an hour a day and people think I'm very dedicated to do that but really, the motivator before the running bug bit me big time was that if I didnt do that, I would have to eat some horribly small number of calories like under 1000.

Food and certain foods in particular CAN be an addiction that you are powerless to control to some degree. But you can ALWAYS choose to go out and be active, no matter what your circumstances, where there is a will there is a way. To me, I may not feel like running and sweating but it is over and done with in 45 minutes, it cant be "undone", and as long as I do it day in day out, I stay thin, no matter what I eat. Its MUCH easier than ignoring the cheescake in the fridge.

What about something like that combined with a bit of soul searching and a moderate diet that you can have a hope of sticking to, in order to try to balance the ledger back on the side of losing again? Could you BURN 500 calories a day extra rather than trying to eat less?

No, i dont have mobility issues, altho running isnt an option. I can walk just fine, esp after my 100 + lbs loss....My Gym has a track and a pool, plus the equipment. So, my problem is getting off my rear and going. I know I can. I have to get that motivation.

Ah, ok, didnt know about any mobility issues, so hope I dont come across as a insensitive!

Still.... can you think outside the square in that regard?

You can do it Lisa! Once you make it a

habit, you'll find yourself dreading it less.

Can you find a work out buddy? If you have someone to go with you, it's not as

easy to talk yourself out of going.

Oh sorry! I must have been thinking about before your incredible loss. I think it is easy to lose sight of how much you have loss. I weighed as much as you lost at 15.

Motivation is hard. If we were all perfectly motivated people to excersise we would not need surgery.

If you hate to exercise, you are doing the wrong kind. That's my philosophy of exercise. Exercise doesn't have to be going to the gym. If you hate the gym, join a sports league (softball, volleyball, soccer, etc.) or a class like ballroom dancing or line dancing (where you don't need a partner) or figure skating or even yoga or pilates.. anything that has you moving your body.

And definitely start small. I started going to the gym 1-2x a week at first. Then I went 2-3x. Then 3-4x. Now I workout about 8-10 times a week. You don't have to go that nuts.

You can also do stuff outside like running, walking, biking, roller blading, etc. No gym involved there.

If you think you'll just hate everything, then try something short that you can just grit your teeth and get through. I do Cross-fit workouts and they are around 20 min. at a time. 20 min. that make you want to DIE but it's only 20 min. and then it's over. They have them at gyms but my coach has drop-in groups that meet outside in the park.

You can do this!

Especially with a large weight loss, there's only so far diet will take you, the rest has to come from exercise. Its just a necessary part of the equation and honestly, with time, when you see what it can do for you, you can learn to at least like it a bit.

Ladiesassie my heart goes out to you! Please don't feel ashamed that you had McDonalds or that your motivation has taken a dive - if you remember rightly we're all here because we've been through the exact same things. I'm not yet sleeved but I will be in a week, and although I know the sleeve works fantastic for a lot of people, I've drummed it into my head that it doesn't change the way I think or feel about food.

If you're looking for extra motivation I think you should definitely have a look around at some doctor run weight loss clinics (a lot of hospitals have them now). It's something I'm planning on doing once I am off the mushies and able to eat normal food. My doctor really stressed the point to me that the sleeve is only a tool. You'll find a proper weightloss clinic like doctor run ones or the Dr Cohens one will form a strong game plan for you to follow based on your tastes, your stomach limitations and your nutritional needs. And a lot of them require you to check in once a week which makes it easier on your 'motivation'.

I know what it feels like to be in that black hole wishing you could will yourself out of these problems but finding you just don't care enough to try anymore. I think you should stop, breathe and try for a little while just to take care of yourself emotionally and then when you're feeling stronger the physical aspect will follow.:biggrin0:

No, i dont have mobility issues, altho running isnt an option. I can walk just fine, esp after my 100 + lbs loss....My Gym has a track and a pool, plus the equipment. So, my problem is getting off my rear and going. I know I can. I have to get that motivation.

I am giving you a thumbs up because I know exactly what you are talking about. You are right, getting the motivation is very important. It took me many years to get the motivation to do somthing really drastic about my obesity.

In 1977 and 1978 I had two mental breakdowns, which led up to me being put in the hospital, and the last of the two was a stay of 3 1/2 months. When the doctor released me, I went home on medication called Melleril (?SP) which is a tranqualizer and I was on it for a long time, then I was taken off that and stayed on Prozac for many years. In 1 and 1/2 years I went from 155 or so, up to around 300 pounds. In the past 30+ years I have been up and down, I have went to TOPPS, Overeaters Anonymous, changed my medications several times. I was put on Cymbalta earlier and now I am on Celexa, which both were the best help for my mental state. I have finally got the motivation and stopped procrastinating to do something about my weight problem (Thinking problems is what I should call it). I doubled my weight in that year and half, and it has been like a yo-yo since.

Finally Feb. of this year I started my weigh-ins so that I could try to get approved for surgery. I am really getting close, but I have went through many set backs. Since then I found out I had an auto-immune disorder, H-Pyloria positive test, a car accident which now I am trying to save for another car, and an accident on the treadmill at the Y, plus many other things such as weight going down and up and now it is on the downhill road. I just got weighed today and lost 2 more pounds in about a week. I keep picking myself up and going on, because I am determined to have this surgery to help me lose weight. I am sure I will still probably have ups and downs afterwards, but the big difference now is that this time I have the support of family, friends, Doctor Husted, support groups, and all the help from everyone on this forum, such as you, Ky.hen and many others to get me through my journey.

I say hang in there for yourself and all the people that will be helped by listening to your story. Once you get the motivation to go to the Gym, I am sure it will probably become just as addictive as food. The thing I have noticed since I have been going is that now I really think alot about what I am doing to myself if I eat the wrong things or eat too much after exercising, I am just defeating the purpose of going to the Y.

Another thing is that at least I may just burn up many of those extra calories that I do eat on my down moments. WHEN I MESS UP, I DON'T GIVE UP, I GET UP AND TRY AGAIN. The day I fell on my knees (Right knee replacement last year) and on the floor when I had my accident on the treadmill and hurt my knees, I just got up and got right back on. I still have bruised sore knees a week later, but I went back today. Thank you for all your comments on here!!

That is how it is going for me lately. I guess Im feeling a bit sorry for myself, its so hard to pick myself back up. I just cant find the motivation anymore.

I had a really good food day yesterday, but today started out awful. For Breakfast, hubby brought home Mcdonalds. UGH! The only consolation is that it will be breakfast and lunch for me. If I could eat a really small/light dinner tonite, I would be ok.... hopefully I will have the willpower for that.

I really dont know what to do anymore. My appetite and cravings are really high. I get hungry, I can eat alot.....*sigh*.....it has been this way since I had surgery, but has gotten worse over the last 8 months or so. I know I eat the wrong foods alot lately.

My overall health has really improved since I lost the 100+ lbs, but recently I have been feeling really bad again. I have an almost constant headache and the doctors cant find anything that is wrong. I figure most of it is stress and worry, mixed with some depression.

I even hate getting online anymore. I used to find such solace in the WLS groups im in, but now, I just find it super depressing seeing all the ones having success....altho Im really happy for all of them, it still hurts that Im not one of them at the moment.

Im truly not giving up...I just dont know what to do anymore. It seems Ive tried everything. I even tried going back to basics with the Protein drinks. I lasted one day and was just physically sick with just the thought of drinking my meals. When I cut my carbs and calories, I do lose weight, but I cant keep at it b4 Im caving in for something off the diet. I know I need to get these carbs out of my system - at least the bad carbs. But thats my major craving of course. Maybe I should lock myself in a padded room for a few weeks... lol. I couldnt harm myself or anyone else with my crankiness. My husband can barely stand to be around me, my marriage really sux. :smilielol5: and thats just one of my stressors.

Ok, Ive vented for the day. I dont think I accomplished anything, except getting it off my chest for a bit..

thanks for listening..

I feel your crying. . .how heartbreaking your story is. . . I'm so sorry for you. . .it's so hard especially when you feel so down and out. . . but you have come so far don't sabatoge yourself now. . .you are a worthy person, you deserve this for yourself. . . you did it for yourself not for anyone else. . . it's hard to get back onto the wagon once you fall off, but you can do it. . . you want to be the best, you can be the best but honey only you can do that. . . I don't want to sound sappy or anything but you have to do it for yourself. . . your marriage suxs but so does mine. . .but I hang in there and go on, I love my hubbie and he has his faults but heck I have many more. . .he is my best friend and lots of times we don't agree (I'm amazed he hasn't left me cause I can be a real boot most times). . no one ever said life was a bed of roses, thorns yes, roses no. . . good luck hope you get back onto the wagon for yourself. . . just cut out a little at a time, not all of it all at once, just one bad carb, get used to that, then another. . . til you are ok. . .

Edited October 14, 200916 yr by thinoneday

Lisa, I am fairly new to the boards, but I can so relate to your story. I am about 3 mos post op and deal with the *head* hunger thing daily..and a lot of times, I fail and self-sabotage myself. It is a constant struggle..and some days it is difficult to think you are the only one going through this, because your not. I am going through it too. There must be an underlying reason why we are doing this to ourselves..I do have a history some molestation as a child, not extreme, but after it happened, I put on a winter coat and couldn't take it off, it was my *protection* and as soon as I was forced to give it up (it smelled..if you can imagine that) I gained 30 lbs.. I have also done the counseling thing and I know psychologically why I do it, but it is still something that I struggle with. Later in life, every time I lost weight and guys found me attractive, and started hitting on me, I would cave in and think they really liked me, only to find it just physical, my heart broken after it was over. But, now I am 52, that part of my life is over, and I have grown much wiser and stronger..but still, old ways of dealing with pain are hard to let go of.

Everybody has demons to fight..we all got to our highest weight due to something other than just overeating..I believe..it was our drug, our way of dealing with problems. And, I agree, drug addicts seem to have it easier, because they can be completely abstinent..And the media gives a lot of attention to celebrities with drug problems in our society..it seem glamorized in a way. While obesity is very much a terrible stimga. I believe that obese people suffer the most discrimination and get the least amount of real help for their disorder. We have to practically pay for everything out of pocket..I have yet to find a bariatric coach. I have had counselors tell me, just accept yourself and love yourself. Well, even if I did all that, obesity is not healthy and will kill you sooner than anything else. That counselor gave bum advice. They would never tell a drug addict or alcoholic to just love themselves. That would be malpractice. They would be referred to rehab, even live in a rehab center for months..Why can't they do that for us? I think we would have all be fairly successful if we lived in the *Biggest Loser* type of setting, sans the yelling and degredation from Jillian. That is another thing that irks me. If you had a bunch of drug addicts and alcoholic on TV and called it the *Biggest Loser* and they yelled and demeaned them, there would be lawsuits..but obese people? Oh, yeah, that is acceptable, even considered entertainment. It is sickening. They put tempting food in their face and see how long it takes before they give in. Could you imagine a tv show where they put crack in front of an addict and see who could hold out the longest? No, because that would be inhumane. There are a lot of things I agree with you on Lisa.

I wish I had better advice, but I just want you to know you are not alone. Keep trying, never give up on you.

Edited October 15, 200916 yr by Steph_123

Steph, thanks for your story, its sad, but like you say that part of your life is over now and you are so much more wiser now. . . I can relate to your story, it's funny how we turn to jackets and such for protection isn't it? As far as the guys well after my sleeve, it's my turn . . . that is all I have to say about that. . . I'm glad you are better and your weight loss is fantastic. . . your only 3 months out and have lost a bit more than 10lbs a month! That is fantastic! they say slow and steady wins the race! You keep going, you may self sabatoge yourself, but i bet its not as bad as before the sleeve huh? Good for you! Your doing wonderfully and you will win! Take care and keep happy!